Show Prep 80

Greetings and Salutations, people! - It’s the show that’s freaky like my lady pyramid! (Clip 27 – Nice, that’s nice!) This is Vertically Striped Radio. I am your slowly shrinking host, Craig Dodge, 257.5 lbs as of my 3:00 weigh in, which is still fat, but it is down exactly ten pounds from where I started October, so that’s going well. Welcome to the 80th edition of VSR. I know global warming is supposed to be this global disaster, but it’s 73 degrees outside today here in Denver, and it has yet to snow on us, so I’m enjoying it tremendously.

Today on VSR – A little sports talk as the entire sports world appears to be going insane, The Magnificent Seven will break down seven magnificent Beer Commercials, our second matchup in the Super Mario Bros Music Tourney, we will dust off a great moment in the history of Blogtalk Radio and best of all, the debut of the greatest commercial I’ve ever created will go down today.

Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1

To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
 

SILVERTON, Ore. (AP) -- Having a safe Halloween took on a different meaning in one Oregon neighborhood, where trick-or-treating teenagers received condoms in their goodie bags. Daniel and Kathleen Harris, of Silverton, told The Statesman Journal the free condoms were part of their effort to promote health. They also handed out toothbrushes as well as candy bars.

The father of one 14-year-old girl who received the condoms, Daniel Cote, was offended and says it was inappropriate to give them to children without parents' consent.

Kathleen Harris said giving the condoms to the 14-year-old was a mistake. She said their usual practice is to ask teens if they're 16 or older and to give them a speech on safe sex.


Surprise, ARIZONA: Surprise police said a boy pulled a knife on his mother who refused to let him go trick-or-treating as a "gay Justin Bieber," the singer and teen idol.

The 12-year-old boy had been grounded Halloween night after an argument with his mother, who said his costume idea was disrespectful, police spokesman Sgt. Mark Ortega said.

After throwing a tantrum and getting grounded from trick-or-treating, he grabbed a knife from his room and threatened to kill her, Ortega said.

The mother disarmed her son without injury and called police.

Police arrested the pre-teen on suspicion of threatening his mother with a knife.

I can’t decide which is more disturbing, the fact that he pulled a knife on his mom over his Halloween Costume, or the fact that he wanted to dress as Justin Bieber in the first place.
 

AND FINALLY…LANCASTER, Pa. (AP) -- A central Pennsylvania man faces shoplifting charges after police said he tried to steal a pair of shoes by wearing them out of a department store. Lancaster police said 22-year-old Kyle Eckman went into a store dressing room and put on a pair of size-10 shoes then walked out without paying. He was quickly stopped outside the store with his own shoes inside the shoebox in a shopping bag.

Police said Eckman faces felony charges because of two prior retail theft convictions. He is being held on $50,000 bail.

Police were quickly able to identify this man as a shoplifter and nab him. It wasn’t that he looked shifty, was sweating profusely, or just looked generally untrustworthy. No, the major flaw in Mr. Eckman’s theft plan was that the shoes he was trying to wear out of the store were women’s high heels…I’m Craig, and THAT is the news.



I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Bring on Face:

I have heard the cries of the people, and I am a little worried to announce that my cousin Tawni will appear on VSR.

Political Ad Game: - He Hates Children!
 

Randy Moss –
Not a fan of catering: How bad does free barbeque have to be before you complain about it? We’re talking BBQ chicken and ribs. How do you screw up chicken and ribs?
What exactly does Randy Moss feed his dogs if that wasn’t good enough for them?
How I can tell he his skills have diminished: If he were still good they wouldn’t have dumped him

Kevin Garnet vs. Charlie Villanueva:
-Either KG is an insensitive punk, or he is the worst trash talker in NBA history.
-You look like a Cancer Patient vs. You are cancerous to your team and our league. (Good day, sir!)

Mike Shanahan vs. Donovan McNabb:
Are we really supposed to believe that Shanny thought that Rex Grossman gave him his best chance to win?

Brett Favre:
-I almost felt sorry for him
-Was he playing it up? He looked like he had one foot in the grave as he was being carted off on Sunday
-Wow, he looks old and gray


Super Mario Bros. Tournament: (Intro Clip 70)
Last matchup:
8 seed Accordion shocks the 1 Seed, Japanese Beatboxer Hikakin, and moves on to the semi-finals

This Week:
2 Seed - Eminence Symphony Orchestra (Clip 72) – Almost 4 minutes long, but it’s good, so I’ll play it.
vs.
7 Seed - Brandon Urie (from Panic at the Disco) (Clip 77)


 


Magnificent Seven – Top 7 Beer Commercials:

7. Bud Light – Limo (Yes, I am!)
6. Molson Ice – Bob and Doug McKenzie with Guy LaFleur
5. Red Stripe – Hooray Beer!
4. Bud Light – Swear Jar
3. Molson Canadian – Chasing Beaver
2. Heineken – Oops – The best thing about this commercial is how all the men in the commercial act like Obi-Wan reacting to the destruction of Aalderan. They don’t know what has happened, but they feel the disturbance in the force.

The commercial begins with a guy working in a bar is trying to carry too many crates of Heineken and he drops the top case, bottles fall in slow motion with the epically sad music in the background. Cut to a boxing match where suddenly one of the boxers stops mid-fight and looks off in the distance sadly and then gets whalloped by the other guy. Cut to a swearing in ceremony where a dark skinned guy is happily being sworn in as a citizen and suddenly stops mid-oath sadly, a doctor in an operating room working suddenly stops and looks up, a punk rocker does the same and a guy standing in the street in the rain stops and starts looking around as if he is expecting to see something horrific, we then cut to two lovers lying in bed, the man is snuggling with his woman and suddenly recoils in horror to his side of the bed and when she tries to comfort him, he says “Don’t” Final cut to the beer bottles crashing to the ground and smashing.
1. Dos Equis – The Most Interesting Man in the World.


Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.

Great Moments in the history of Blogtalk Radio: (Intro Clip 11)
-The Ed finds a special dog (Clip 25)

Salute to a crazy name: Peter Doody

I work for a fun, but somewhat nutty company:
Halloween:
Set Director
Theme Advisor
Construction Superintendent
Prop Master
Treasurer
Lighting Technician

Flag Football Game: Annual Tradition
 

Week in Wankery:

Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The brainiac team that runs the Invesco Field Escalators

Man of the Match:
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.

Red Card
Josh McDaniels







The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Tired Pony “I Finally Love this Town” and “Dead American Writers”


Thanks to: (Whoever called)


Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
 

(Clip 40) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.

Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.

6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.

5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.

3. Hamburglar

2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.

1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.