Show Prep 64

Greetings and Salutations, people. Took the kids bowling for the first time last night, and THAT is an experience.


Today on VSR – We have the Week in Wankery, I have and will actually play this week the 3rd installment of Doug on Demand, we have a Magnificent 7 Embarrassing confessions list from me. In the land of corporate stadium naming right, nothing stays commercial free forever…and VSR has gone commercial (for at least this week, anyway.)

The telephone number today is brought to you by Cake…Celebrate with Cake! (Clip 1)


Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1

To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com


Pale Green Pants with nobody inside them.


The news is brought to you by 1970’s McDonalds! (Clip 72)

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

BUFFALO, New York - Name dropping is common when facing trouble with the law, but Lindsay Lohan (as much experience as she has with the law) is not a name you want to drop when you’re trying to get yourself out of trouble.
A Buffalo man made it into Canada, but got a little tripped up on his way back into America when border agents said they noticed he was wearing an ankle monitor.
What was his explanation? He told the agents he was sporting the bracelet to show support for Lindsay Lohan.
There are several things wrong with this excuse. For one, was he really expecting somebody to believe that? And for two, no one is supporting Lindsay and if they are, they’re certainly not doing it by wearing an ankle monitor.
He told customs officers he got the angle bracelet from a friend who’s a probation officer. He forgot to mention that, that friend isn’t just some probation officer, but rather his probation officer. And oh yeah, he’s not supposed to leave the country!
On top of everything, agents say he was trying to use somebody else’s passport. With such a ridiculous story he was pretty smart in at least trying to pretend he was somebody else.

The Netherlands - A Dutch priest has been suspended for dedicating a Mass to the Dutch national soccer team -- while wearing an orange cloak -- ahead of the World Cup final against Spain.
Priest Paul Vlaar from the town of Obdam prayed last Sunday for team spirit for the national team, while worshippers, also dressed in orange clothes, were singing soccer songs in the church. It was decorated with orange flags.
The Haarlem-Amsterdam diocese said in a statement Friday that Vlaar "failed to do justice to the holiness of the celebration of the Eucharist."
Bishop Jozef Marianus Punt has imposed a period of reflection on the priest with immediate effect.
Vlaar's prayers appear to have fallen on deaf ears, however, as the Dutch lost the match 1-0.

BOULDER, Colo. (AP) -- The days when a citizen could address the Boulder City Council wearing only underwear may be over. The council will vote on new decorum rules in September, seven months after a resident stepped up to a microphone in his boxers.

The rules were already under review, but that incident led to a proposed ban on undressing during meetings.

It's not the first time the university town has wrestled with how much clothing is enough. In April, the city barred teens and adults from showing their genitals in public. That could put the wraps on two annual traditions that involve running or cycling naked.

But the council declined to outlaw topless females, despite complaints about a woman who gardens in a thong and gloves.


I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Face Ventura is brought to you today by “Wet Pets – San Pedro” (Clip 73)

Bring on the boys…

Let’s do a commercial segment.

Magnificent 7: Craig’s Embarrassing Confessions:

7. I have this overpowering desire to wear a fedora, and so every time I go to a store that has one, I try it on. However, I look wicked retarded in a fedora, so everytime I put one on, and then remember how stupid I look, and then leave sheepishly, knowing that next time I see a Fedora, I’ll try it on thinking this will be the one.

6. I went to Burger King yesterday to get a delicious Ham Omelet Breakfast sandwich, so I ordered, drove up, handed my credit card to the man who ran it, and handed me my receipt…I then proceed to drive to work. Only problem is that he hadn’t handed me my delicious Ham Omelet Breakfast sandwich yet…I got about half a mile down the street, and realized that I had paid for a breakfast that I didn’t have. I was running late already, but I was hungry…so I turned around to go back and get the sandwich…There was a truck in front of me in the drive through line, so I sat there, and the Burger King guy looked over and saw me, gave me a laughing look, and then handed the truck his food, and me my food right after it. I just laughed and said, “I’m an idiot.”

5. I sort of think that Lady Gaga is good.

4. About 2 weeks ago, as again, I was running late to work, I hurried up the stairs…I work on the 3rd floor, so I always use the stair instead of the elevator. And as I was walking to my desk, I thought that my office looked a little different. There was some new art, and things looked just a tiny bit nicer, or at least a tiny bit different than normal. I didn’t realize they were going to put up so much new art on the walls overnight, but I decided it looked nice and walked quickly to my desk…where a middle-aged woman was sitting working on my computer…or so I thought. Turns out that I had only walked up one flight of stairs instead of two, and had walked to what was the corresponding desk to mine one floor below. I felt like an idiot, turned around and hurried up to my desk, just a tiny bit later than I already was thanks to my inability to count the difference between one flight of stairs and two.

3. Ever since Wednesday, I have had THIS stuck in my head. (Clip 57 – Starlight Vocal Band – Afternoon Delight) Actually, to be fair, it was really more THIS that was stuck in my head…(Clip 58 – Anchorman – Afternoon Delight) I’ve been annoying my wife with it ever since Wednesday, and I can’t tell you how embarrassing it is to be sitting in your office and have someone walk over to your cube and hear you lightly singing “Afternoon Delight” to yourself.

2. I had a very vivid dream on Monday morning this week. I was on Jeopardy, and I was kicking tail! I was answering every question right like a latter day Ken Jennings. I was the man. I remember the lead I had was pretty solid, I had 30,000 dollars to my competitor’s 19,000 (For some reason, there were only 2 of us playing.) Alex Trebeck announced the Final Jeopardy category would be classic rock. Even though I barely know any classic rock in real life, for some reason in my dream, I got very excited as if I were an expert, and wagered all my money. The question was, “Who played the cymbals and piano for Black Sabbath?” Well, apart from the fact that that is a ridiculous question, I was crushed in my dream, because I didn’t know. Time ran out on me, and all I wrote was a question mark. Then my opponent wrote, “Dave Grohl” (The drummer for the Nirvana and front man for the Foo Fighters) Much to my surprise, Trebeck announced that Dave Grohl was the right answer, I lost everything, and I was crushed. At this point, I woke up about 45 minutes before my alarm clock was scheduled to go off…Even though I should have known it was a dream, I was in that half-awake, half-asleep fog, and somehow I was crushed that I missed out on the chance to win some cash on Jeopardy. I spent the next three quarters of an hour waking up every couple of minutes cursing myself that I didn’t know that Dave Grohl played cymbals for Black Sabbath. Only when I got up and jumped up in the shower, still feeling disappointed did my brain fully register how stupid that was.

1. I love getting kids meals. Not just for my kids, but for me as well. Especially at Sonic. For three bucks, I get a Corn-Dog, a small tater tots, and a chocolate milk…plus a toy! Hard to beat. I’ve been eating kids meals at Sonic for the past few months, and last week when I went there, I ordered my “Wacky Pack” and after I was done ordering, the woman in line said. “Would you like anything for yourself?”



Week in Wankery:

Yellow Card:
-Ebay person from England who bid on my item even though it said “United States” only.
-People who wait for someone to pull out rather than just going down six or seven spots to the empty parking spot.
-Girl behind me consumed by lacrosse.

Red Card:
-MEMe

What was I afraid of? - Pale Green Pants with Nobody inside them: (Clip 56)

Doug on Demand – (Clip 55) – This starts in the middle of our conversation as we are deciding where we want to sit for a Rockies game we are going to attend later this month…then it jumps around a lot, as my conversations with him tend to do, and yes, there is a little bit of discussion about legos.


Deaths:
John Wooden
Gary Coleman
Dennis Hopper
Rue McClannahan

Puritans – Not so nice to the dead all the time. (Talk about the burial ground)

Who’s death would cause the biggest world wide sadness?



Pooping in public: No shame, or hide your feet? (Clip 81 – MM’s rap)



The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Don’t want to be left out – Powderfinger (Album: Internationalist)

Thanks to: (Whoever called)


Shalom and Good Evening to you all!

Top 7 Bad Euphamisms:

-Friendly Fire
-Flight Attendant
-To Pass Away
-Putting a dog to sleep
-Gentleman’s Club
-For Mature Audiences
-Big Boned
-Full Figured
-In a Family Way
-Laid Off