Saturday, December 31, 2011

Show Prep 142

Greetings and Salutations, People: It’s a new network, but it’s still the same show you have come to tolerate. This is Vertically Striped Radio, I am your award winning host, Craig Dodge. Never mind that the award is Worst Fake Radio Host, it’s still an award, and I will take it.

Adventures in hair cutting

Tweet of the Week:  
Do you think ghosts sit around campfires and tell Pac-Man stories?

Today on VSR –  The world premiere of my new single, We’ll review the year that was 2011, and the Magnificent Seven will feature the Top 7 biggest deaths of 2011.

If you’d like to join in the fun - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1

To contact VSR via email:
Email address:
Voice Mail – 720-CUB-1-ACE (720-282-1223)
Twitter: @socnorb777

(Bring on Face) –
I have found the perfect piece of audio to help symbolize the teaming up of Vertically Striped Radio with LCS… (Clip 79)

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03) 

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

CHICAGO – An animal rights group wants Illinois to install highway signs in memory of cattle killed when trucks hauling them flipped in two separate wrecks.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has asked for permission to buy the markers, one in suburban Chicago and one northwest of Peoria. The group says the signs would pay tribute to the more than 20 cattle killed as a result of negligent driving this year.
Illinois Department of Transportation spokesman Josh Kauffman says the request will likely be denied because the state's Roadside Memorial Act specifies that only relatives who lost loved ones in highway crashes may request memorials.
In 2006, Virginia rejected PETA's request for highway markers to memorialize hogs killed in crashes on their way to slaughter at Smithfield Foods.

PEABODY, Mass. – A Massachusetts woman says an airport security officer in Las Vegas confiscated her frosted cupcake because he thought the icing on it could be a security risk.
Peabody resident Rebecca Hains says the Transportation Security Administration agent took her cupcake, telling her its frosting was "gel-like" enough to violate TSA policies.
The TSA has restrictions on taking liquids and gels onto flights to prevent them from being used as explosives.
Hains says she had passed through security at Boston's Logan International Airport with two cupcakes packaged in jars. But she says she was stopped Wednesday on her return from Las Vegas with one of them.
TSA spokesman Nico Melendez said Friday the agency is reviewing the situation. He says passengers are allowed to take cakes and cupcakes through checkpoints.

GALESBURG, Ill. – Two people who pulled up at a McDonald's drive-thru in western Illinois completely naked face public indecency charges.
Police in Galesburg say a 19-year-old El Paso man and a 21-year-old Galesburg woman have been released from Knox County Jail after being ordered to appear in court to face the charges.
The duo was still in the McDonald's parking lot when officers arrived just before 2 a.m. Wednesday. Police say the man was crouched over in the driver's seat trying to pull on a pair of pants while his passenger was covering up in a blanket.
WGIL reports that the pair told officers the late night fast-food run might not have been a great idea but that they both still thought it was funny.

I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring in the Whale:
Band Name of the Week:
Not as Good as Ezra
Where did the Communist tag for me come from?

Final Regular Season Football Weekend:

Year in Review:

Magnificent Seven: Top 7 Biggest Deaths of 2011

Harry Morgan - Colonel Potter from MASH
Bill Keane - Family Circus
Heavy D
Andy Rooney
Dan Wheldon
Betty Ford
Peter Falk
Clarence Clemons
Jack Kevorkian
Randy Savage
Moammar Gadhafi
Nate Dogg

7. Amy Winehouse
6. Kim Jong Il
5. Joe Fraizer
4. Elizabeth Taylor
3. Al Davis
2. Osama Bin Laden
1. Steve Jobs

The new single sure to be climbing the charts: Can’t find the beer man (Clip 80)
2011 News Year in Review:

January 8 – Gabrielle Giffords gets shot and survives, 6 others killed, 18 total shot
March - Charlie Sheen goes crazy
March 11 - Japan - Earthquake, Tsunami and Nuclear Power Plant
Spring - Arab Spring – revolutions and political uprisings in Tunisia, Egypt, Syria, Libya, Yemen, Baharain
April 28 - Massive tornadoes hit Alabama
April 29 - Royal Wedding
May 2 - Osama Bin Laden "killed"
May 23 – Massive tornadoes wipes out huge chucks of Joplin, MO – Death toll over 100 people.
July 22 - Norwegian terrorist kills 77 people
Summer - Occupy Wall Street idiots - We're mad and we're going to stand in parks! 
September 11 – The 10 year anniversary of the 9-11 attacks go by peacefully, and a bunch of events commemorate the event awkwardly
October 19 – Ohio man who owned a wild animal park releases all his animals and then kills himself
October 20 - Muammar Gaddafi killed
November 5 – Former Penn State assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky indicted on child molestation charges
November 28 – Assistant Coach of the Syracuse Orange basketball team is accused of molesting children.

2011 Sports Year in Review:

February 6 – Packers win an exciting Super Bowl over the Steelers
February 21 - Carmelo traded to Knicks
March 4 - Michigan High School basketball player Wes Leonard dies after hitting game winning shot
April 2 – A Goofy NCAA Basketball tourney sees a 3, 4, 8, and 11 seed reach the Final 4.
April 13 - Manny Ramierez retires from the Tampa Bay Rays after testing positive for steroids
May 9 - Phil Jackson Retires
May 14 - Derek Boogaard found dead
June 13 - Jim Tressel resigns as Head Coach of the Ohio State football team due to Tattoo Parlor scandal
June 13 – Dallas Mavericks shock the Miami Heat in 6 games (Jason Terry doesn’t seem QUITE as ridiculous for his bicep tattoo.)
June 15 - Rioting in Vancouver after Boston defeats the Canucks in the Finals – Led to perhaps the most iconic photo of 2011, the couple making out in the street.
July 9 - Derek Jeter hits a Home Run to record hit number 3000
August 16 - University of Miami scandal breaks – Booster Nevin Shapiro breaks tons of NCAA rules
September 28 - Red Sox and Braves suffer massive final month collapses and both miss the playoffs in dramatic fashion on the final day of the season. Everything goes down in a matter of minutes.
October 27 and 28 - World Series goes 7 games for the first time in 9 years, and baseball provides one of the greatest World Series in history with the Cardinals winning an amazing and improbable Game 6.
Fall - Peyton Manning misses the entire season - Colts collapse
Fall – Tim Tebow drives the sporting world crazy by winning 6 straight crazy games, going 7-3 after Kyle Orton went 1-4 to start the season.
November 26 – After appearing that the NBA would cancel an entire season, the players and owners finally come to an agreement and decide to play a shortened 66 game season this year. (Much to the chagrin of Face and many of the NBA haters)

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Florence + The Machine – Shake It Out

Shalom and Good Evening to you all!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Show Prep 141

-Jim Gaffigan Christmas Intro
-Craig’s anti-Santa rant
– The Chicago newswoman who says THERE IS NO SANTA.
-Thurl Ravenscroft – The Grinch
-A Christmas Story Clip
-N64 Kid
-Feliz Navidad
-Paul Harvey – The Birds
-Linus explains the true meaning of Christmas
-Merry Christmas, War is over (John Lennon) – So this is Christmas…: Let’s hope it’s a good one without any fear. I hate those fear filled Christmases.

NANUET, New York - Leatrice Ann Eng, 58, called each of the students' parents with a yuletide mea culpa for her gaffe.

Ms Eng was in the middle of a lesson about the North Pole on Tuesday when one of her students pointed out that was where Santa Claus lives.

The teacher replied that not only was there no Santa but it was their mums and dads who left their presents under the tree.

The comment outraged parents who branded her a "real-life Scrooge".

"It's sad. She was wrong," said Irene Hoffman, a mother of three children at George W. Miller Elementary School in Nanuet, New York.

"This whole thing is being blown out of proportion. I think we should focus on our children's education and just move on."

Show Prep 139

Greetings and Salutations, People: This is your home for peace on earth AND good will towards men! You are listening to Vertically Striped Radio on a lovely December day from Denver. I am the bearded menace of Centennial, Colorado. They call me Craig Dodge, and I will be your host for the festivities today. To get things rolling, may I suggest that you Google “Let it Snow” RIGHT NOW. I’ll wait…Nice, eh?

Tweet of the Week:  
TomHanksIsHot Nicole Betz 
 I don't mean to sound confrontational, but does anyone want to fight to the death?

Today on VSR –  Magnificent Seven List of Top 7 Don’t be “That Guy” Guys, a great song to get you in the holiday mood, the obligatory Tim Tebow mention, and a whole mess of other items on tap.

If you’d like to join in the fun - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1

To contact VSR via email:
Email address:
Voice Mail – 720-CUB-1-ACE (720-282-1223)
Twitter: @socnorb777

(Bring on Face) –
And now, a man who’s as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel, let’s bring on Face.

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03) 

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

STOCKTON, Calif. – A California teenager has learned the hard way that he's no Santa Claus.
18-year-old George Herrera got stuck in a chimney while trying to sneak into his house Thursday.
The teen was breaking curfew and trying to get inside his home. Herrera was trapped near the chimney bottom for about 90 minutes before emergency crews were called around 10:15 a.m. When they arrived, they could see his feet sticking out of the fireplace.
Rays says rescuers secured ropes around the teenager's wrists and pulled him up about 8 feet with the help of a fire truck ladder.
Officials say Herrera wasn't hurt and was allowed to return home after the rescue, which took about 15 minutes.

GARDEN CITY, N.Y. – Two New York high school athletes have been flagged for organizing several "kneel-downs" in tribute to Tim Tebow.
The mother of 17-year-old twins Connor and Tyler Carroll says they are impressed with the Denver Broncos quarterback. Tebow has led Denver to a 7-1 record and is a devout Christian known for kneeling in prayer on the gridiron.
The twins play football and baseball for Riverhead High School on Long Island. Mom Sherry Carroll says they had no religious intentions when they organized the kneel-downs this week.
About 40 students participated in the largest act of "Tebowing" on Wednesday.
District Superintendent Nancy Carney says the tribute posed a safety hazard by blocking others from getting to class.
Sherry Carroll says Connor served an in-school suspension Friday. Tyler serves his punishment Monday.

BEIJING (Reuters) – Chinese police have arrested a man who hired two strippers to perform at his son's wedding after the performance was mobbed by villagers, a newspaper reported on Wednesday.
Zhang Cheng had originally wanted a band to play at the nuptials, but was then advised he could get performers who’s show would have "special features," the Global Times said.
"After watching the show, Zhang decided it would be appropriate for his son's wedding and requested two strippers for the event," it added. "...Barely five minutes had passed before hundreds of villagers in the conservative community were swarming to the venue, trying to catch a glimpse."
Zhang was arrested the next day, the newspaper reported, though it did not say on what charge.

I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Magnificent 7 – Don’t be THAT guy

Honorable Mentions:
-Hold the door open from just a bit too far away Guy – On the surface, this guy is nice, but in reality, he’s making you feel rushed to get to the door so he can stop watching you walk towards him. Plus he gets to feel superior while you have to feel indebted to him just because he doesn’t have the good sense to just let you open the door for yourself.
-Kenyon Martin – Don’t be Kenyon Martin
-Flat rimmed baseball cap

7. I wouldn’t change a thing Guy – He’s getting interviewed, and his life has fallen apart, but when the interviewer asks him what he’d do different, he says NOTHING.
6. Pulls his pants to his ankles at the urinal Guy – Just gross.
5. First kiss at the wedding Guy – The Virgin Diaries, couple gets married and their first kiss comes right after the minister pronounces them man and wife. They then proceed to eat each other’s faces.
4. Brushes his teeth in the office bathroom Guy – I’m all for oral hygiene, but no one wants to see you with a foamy mouth in the office bathroom. Handle your business at home.
3. Brags about how drunk he gets Guy -
2. Overusing “That’s what she said” Guy – It’s not that good of a joke, but when you do it 47 times an hour, it becomes something sinister and evil.
1. Bad at Email Guy – Constantly forwarding crap, don’t understand how to do recurring meetings, so he sends a request for a full year’s of meetings all at once…one by one, Hits reply all to make a bad joke so the whole department can read it.

Tom Brady Joke:
Tom Brady, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Patriots flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity Tom, said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." Tom felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house.

On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the ...corner. It was a huge 3-story mansion with Orange and Blue sidewalks and drive ways, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Broncos logo flag waving, a swimming pool in shape of a horse, a Broncos logo in every window, and a Tim Tebow jersey on the front door.

Tom looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I won 3 Super Bowls, and I even went to the Hall of Fame."

God said "So what's your point Tom?"

"Well, why does Tim Tebow get a better house than me?"

God chuckled, and said "Tom, that's not Tim's house, it's mine."

All he does is win – DJ Steve Porter

This is getting ridiculous – Broncos have trailed at the 2 minute warning in their last 4 games. 4-0 during those games, by the way.

ESPN Over-Tebowed? – One hour of Sportscenter two weeks ago: (Clip 39)

Preview of Episode 140:
Straight No Chaser – 12 Days of Christmas – Clip 38

Quick Hits:
-Throwing stuffed animals at my wife in Target
-Worst Transformer ever last night at Target – Matchbox car with a picture of a robot on the bottom.
-The Packers have more NFL victories than the entire state of Florida.

Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:

Hunted by Ghosts – The Local Strangers (Clip 91)

Shalom and Good Evening to you all!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Show Prep 138

Greetings and Salutations, People: A wonderful bit of truth for you right off the top. If you go to YouTube and type in “Nickelback Rocks” the first result will be a video of Nickelback being pelted by rocks.

Tweet of the Week:  
kelly oxford (@kellyoxford)
Pregnant women are the original Trojan Horses.

Today on VSR –  A much needed clearing of the air, The world of sports exploded this week with some huge stories that we need to discuss, and new editions of the Week in Wankery and Something to think about.

If you’d like to join in the fun - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1

To contact VSR via email:
Email address:
Voice Mail – 720-CUB-1-ACE (720-282-1223)
Twitter: @socnorb777

(Bring on Face) –

Before we Bring on Face, I have a little something I need to play…(Clip 35)

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03) 

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

MONTESANO, Wash. – A jury has acquitted a Washington man accused of breaking into a home and throwing a dead mink at another man during a confrontation that made weasel headlines across the country. 33-year-old Jobie Watkins of Hoquiam was found not guilty of burglary.

 Police said Watkins was carrying the dead animal when he went to the other man's apartment looking for his ex-girlfriend on June 6. The other man involved in the altercation confronted Watkins and asked him why he had a dead weasel. Watkins reportedly insisted that it was a marten leading to a fight which occurred after Watkins threw the dead mink at the other man.

The jury in the trial claimed that the witnesses provided inconsistent accounts and the "prosecution failed to prove a link to the mink."

Newspaper “The Daily World of Aberdeen” reports that Watkins never explained why he had the carcass.

ROCHESTER, N.H. – A New Hampshire woman who brought her mother's ashes to bingo games for good luck is hoping for their return after the urn containing them was stolen.

Police say the urn was stolen from Diane Bozzi's van Tuesday morning in Rochester by someone targeting unlocked cars.

Diane Bozzi says the urn was in a bag that she was planning to take to her bingo game later in the day.

She and her mother loved playing bingo together. Before her mother died in 2002, Bozzi promised her she would take some of her ashes with her to play. Her mother agreed, saying she would bring Bozzi luck.

BROOKVILLE, Pa. – Authorities in northwestern Pennsylvania say a man published an obituary for his living mother in a ploy to get paid bereavement time off from work.

Relatives called The Jeffersonian Democrat newspaper in Brookville after the obit appeared to report the woman was actually alive and well. The woman herself then visited the paper.

Brookville police charged 45-year-old Scott Bennett on Tuesday with disorderly conduct.

Democrat editor Randy Bartley says he accepted the obituary in good faith after being unable to confirm the funeral arrangements at press time. He told The Derrick newspaper on Friday that the woman was very understanding.

Police Chief Ken Dworek says Bennett wrote up the memorial notice because he didn't want to get fired for taking time off.

I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

The economy has claimed another victim: Dippin Dots has filed for bankruptcy

VSR is moving! The Fake Radio Network will be joining forces with the LCS Hockey Show, The Ed Show and The Super Great Internet Show. Personally, I think we should call the new network The Sporting Chicken Radio Network, but perhaps that will just be my pet name for it. LCS originally stood for La Coq Sportiff, a.k.a. The Sporting Chicken.

Something to Think About!

1. The President needs a cool uniform. The suit and tie isn’t cutting it, basically, the President of the United States dresses exactly the same as a television evangelist. We need something with perhaps a beret or a sash, or something fancy looking that is unique and immediately screams “President”. (Something he’d look good eating a turkey leg in.)
2. Nothing in the history of the world has ever been improved by putting the word “Vegan” in front of it. Conversely, nothing in the history of the world has ever been made worse by bacon.
3. What did Dinosaur taste like?
4. I saw a Hawaii license plate today, and it tripped me out.
5. It is impossible for a tiger to lose its stripes. If you shave it down, it has the stripes on its skin.
6. Calling your dog a son of a bitch is not really an insult, meanwhile…calling your son that is just a bad idea all around.
7. I don’t understand what Mom jeans are. 

Checking in with Flula – Clip 39 – Flula – Balls to the wall

Sports topics:

-Albert Pujols – Signs 10 year, 254 million dollar contract. (A player so big even I know who he is.)
-David Stern voids Chris Paul trade to the Lakers
Dan Gilbert Letter: (In comic sans font)

It would be a travesty to allow the Lakers to acquire Chris Paul in the apparent trade being discussed.

This trade should go to a vote of the 29 owners of the Hornets.

Over the next three seasons this deal would save the Lakers approximately $20 million in salaries and approximately $21 million in luxury taxes. That $21 million goes to non-taxpaying teams and to fund revenue sharing.

I cannot remember ever seeing a trade where a team got by far the best player in the trade and saved over $40 million in the process. And it doesn't appear that they would give up any draft picks, which might allow to later make a trade for Dwight Howard. (They would also get a large trade exception that would help them improve their team and/or eventually trade for Howard.) When the Lakers got Pau Gasol (at the time considered an extremely lopsided trade) they took on tens of millions in additional salary and luxury tax and they gave up a number of prospects (one in Marc Gasol who may become a max-salary player).

I just don't see how we can allow this trade to happen.
I know the vast majority of owners feel the same way that I do.

When will we just change the name of 25 of the 30 teams to the Washington Generals?

Please advise...
Dan G.

Tim Tebow does it yet again in Minnesota. Now 6-1.
Wins: Chargers, Raiders, Chiefs, Vikings, Jets, Dolphins
Loss: Lions
Charles Barkley – Stop the madness (I agree with him sorta, it makes me sad that the Tebow hype has turned the kid into Brett Favre.)
Tim Tebow centaur tattoo
Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:

Nobody Told Me – John Lennon (John was killed 31 years ago this week.)
(Clip 91)

Shalom and Good Evening to you all!

Show Prep 137

Greetings and Salutations, People:

Tweet of the Week:  
KaseyAnderson Kasey Anderson 
Get a dog. Name it "Diamonds." Boom, it's everyone's best friend. Bam, I saved Christmas. Next problem.

Today on VSR –  It’s time to get uncomfortable, I have the Magnificent Seven list of Seven words that make people uncomfortable.

If you’d like to join in the fun - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1

To contact VSR via email:
Email address:
Voice Mail – 720-CUB-1-ACE (720-282-1223)
Twitter: @socnorb777

(Bring on Face) –
Band Name of the Week:
Lime Green Crime Scene

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03) 

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

UPPER ST. CLAIR, Pa. – A bank courier van has spilled more than $100,000 in cash along a Pennsylvania highway, and motorists have stopped to grab it.

Police say much of the money was blown around by the wind. Lt. James Englert says "well into six figures" in cash is missing after the money grab in Upper St. Clair, just southwest of Pittsburgh.

Police are investigating why the door of the Fidelity Courier Service van opened. But they say the fact the door opened doesn't mean the money was free. They say taking it is theft.

Anyone who took money has a two-week grace period to return it without fear of prosecution.

The courier company is offering a reward for the return of the money.

IOWA CITY, Iowa – Charity workers are hunting through a warehouse of donated clothes in Iowa after an elderly man said he accidentally left $13,000 in a suit that he gave to a Goodwill store in Moline, Ill.

The man in his 80s says he doesn't know exactly when he donated the suit in which he'd been storing the money. He told Goodwill that the money represented his life's savings and was being used to defray medical expenses from his wife's battle with cancer.

Goodwill spokeswoman Dana Engelbert says the suit could have been sold at the Moline store already or that it may have been sent with other clothing donations to a regional Goodwill warehouse in Iowa City.

A $1,000 reward is being offered for the return of the money.

Rescuers tried for hours to get to the missing cat, only to find a cuddly toy cat with a built in meow.

After struggling to reach what they thought was a missing local pet, engineers were called to cut through the steel.

But once inside they were greeted by a meowing battery-operated toy.

The alarm was raised when a woman passing the bin in the village of Moelfre in North Wales, heard cat sounds.

Puss Puss was not in the bin, as feared, but remains missing

Initially it was feared the animal was heavily-pregnant cat named Puss Puss, who had been missing for days.

Believing she was stranded in the bin, villagers tried in vain to get inside the clothes bank and the fire service were called.

In the end they had to transport the bin 18 miles to a specialist engineering company, where a steel saw was used to cut it open.

Company owner Kelvin Owen told the Daily Post: "Once we got into the bin we heard the meow again, it sounded just like a cat and we all started to carefully search the bags.

"Then I found a bag of toys and picked out a toy cat, I said 'it couldn't be this could it', it wasn't making any noise and I asked if I could cut it open to investigate. As I held it, it went off, meow, meow, mystery solved!

"The lads were in stitches, it was such a laugh."

Would-be rescuer Jasmine Hazelhurst, from Anglesey Pets, said: "We feared finding a dead cat in the clothes bank so to find a stuffed toy was a relief."

I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Tebow Flash Mob - Craig’s List Ad:
I am organizing a Tim Tebow flash mob. We will be meeting at a mall or other venue, please wear your tebow jersey and tell a friend i want to make it big. I will be videoing and posting this video. I want tebow to see this. Please call me for place and time. 720-440-1416
Please email, call or text Chris at 720-440-1416.

Fake Kyle Orton – Clip 35 (During the no talking section, he throws a ball and then chases it down and gets all winded.)

Would you rather?

Drive a Vespa or a Hummer?

Constant Hiccups or Terrible Gas 1 hour a day.

Live life with zero hope of ever breaking out of poverty but you’ll die of natural causes after a long life or live life like a sultan but know that sometime after age 50 you will be slowly and painfully tortured to death over an excruciating 3 day period?

Australian School Voice Mail – Clip 38

Magnificent Seven:
Top 7 Awkward Words/Phrases:

7. Slick Bottom Booty
6. Diarrhea
5. Head Lice
4. Menstruation
3. Castration
2. Jesus
1. Penis

Checking in with Flula – Clip 39 – Flula – Balls to the wall

Something to Think About!

1. The President needs a cool uniform (Something he’d look good eating a turkey leg in.)
2. Nothing in the history of the world has ever been improved by putting the word “Vegan” in front of it. Conversely, nothing in the history of the world has ever been made worse by bacon.
3. What did Dinosaur taste like?
4. Stumbled across one of the worst ideas ever: Olly: The smellable tweet device. - Olly is a desktop device that delivers your notifications in the form of smells by triggering a small fan. It has a removable section in the back that can be filled with oils, perfumes, or any other fragrance you like. Think of it as an air freshener for your online social life.
5. I don’t understand what Mom jeans are.
6. Calling your dog a son of a bitch is not really an insult, meanwhile…calling your son that is just a bad idea all around.
7. It is impossible for a tiger to lose its stripes. If you shave it down, it has the stripes on its skin.

Why do coupons say that they have a cash value of 1/20th of a cent?

It goes back to the days of the Great Depression. Back then, Food items were distributed as ration. Books of Stamps (like coupons) were issued to citizens. Some merchants were smart. They claimed that their books of stamps were worth much more than they really were. They would then sell merchandise through catalogues at greatly inflated prices.
This caused problems. Because both the cash value and redemption prices (in stamps) were greatly inflated, honest stamp issuers were at a competitive disadvantage, because their own books of stamps didn’t seem to be worth much in buying power compared to others.
Several states tried to eliminate these injustices by making all books of stamps – and anything of value that might be used to reduce the price of a product, have a common value. Grocery coupons fell into this category. Kansas State enacted most stringent law. Kansas law overrides the terms and conditions of the coupon for residents of the state and says that if no cash value is stated on the coupon, the consumer may cash in the coupon of face value. (That means, a 50 cents coupon for Tide detergent liquid can be cashed in for 50 cents in the State of Kansas if no cash-value is printed on it).

Manufacturers had two choices: make separate coupons for Kansas, or print a cash value on every coupon. Do folks really try to redeem coupons for the lofty sum of 1/100th of a cent? Hmmm… I don’t think anybody will do that.

Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Ben Folds – Album: “Way to Normal” Song: “You Don’t Know Me” Featuring Regina Spektor (Clip 91)

Freelance Whales – Weathervanes - Generator Second Floor
(Clip 92)

Shalom and Good Evening to you all!