Show Prep 72

Greetings and Salutations, people! -
Clip 90 – Football is Back Song

Today on VSR – It’s time to ticket Wankers again, Football is back, so we’ll rejoice in that a little, We will conclude the Shek Republic Life in a Week series with Episode 5, we have an account of a crime given by a delightful eye witness, and possibly the strangest Magnificent 7 of all time.

Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1

To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

MELBOURNE, Australia (AP) -- Two men were arrested after bewildered diners at a McDonald's spotted them wrestling a 5-foot (1.5 meter) python named Boris in the restaurant parking lot, police said Thursday. Victoria state police said the men stole the 8-year-old black-headed python and a lizard from a pet shop on Wednesday. They then brought the snake to the McDonald's parking lot, where they began wrestling with it in front of puzzled customers, police said.

The men, aged 22 and 24, were arrested and charged with burglary and theft. Police didn't release their names.

"In all honesty, it's just a case of dumb and dumber," Detective Sgt. Andrew Beams told Australian Broadcasting Corp. "Anyone who gets out there with a one-and-a-half meter python in a McDonald's parking lot - they're pretty dumb."

The stolen snake was returned to it’s relieved owner, and is now resting comfortably in it’s enclosure, recovering from it’s match.


MURPHYSBORO, Ill. (AP) -- Clad in Spiderman pajamas, a 5-year-old southern Illinois boy on a scooter had someplace to be. And he apparently wasn't going to let busy highways stand in his way. Authorities said Jackson County sheriff's deputies picked up the boy and his Razor-type scooter about 2 a.m. Wednesday along Old Illinois 13 in Murphysboro after fielding two 911 calls about the child's trek.

Investigators said the boy reportedly left home without his parents' knowledge to visit a friend in Carbondale, about seven miles away. Deputies got to him about two miles into his journey, which involved traveling on two major highways.

The boy was unharmed and returned to his grateful parents.


BERLIN (AP) -- A German man's habit of taking naked walks to reduce his stress levels backfired when his latest escapade triggered a police search and closed down a rail line. Police in the western city of Solingen said Friday that a woman out walking her dog saw the man, who jumped onto the train tracks and fled. She found his clothes nearby and reported the sighting to police.

Police closed the rail line for 1 1/2 hours Thursday night and sent up a helicopter to try and locate the man. He eventually turned himself in, saying he panicked after being seen and fled home.

The 42-year-old told officers he often took naked walks because it helped him combat stress.

The man could now face a fine for trespassing on railway property.

I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Bring on Face: I’m a little worried for humanity, Face. 88 people have downloaded the draft show we did that was hour four of our 32 team fantasy draft.

Good news for Larry – A study that was released this week says that people who drink will live longer than people who drink nothing. Odd as it may sound, Teetotalers on average are more likely to die young than raging alcoholics.

Ron Jenkees (Clip 80) – Thought this was interesting, the original sound clip that was cut up and edited into the iconic opening to the BS report. If you listen to the Sports Guy at all, this will sound familiar, yet different.

World News with Craig’s Movie Response: (Intro Clip – Clip 06)
Ed’s Memphis Four Rant from Thursday’s Ed Show – Clip 97
Movie Response – Billy Madison: - Clip 96

Week in Wankery:

Yellow Card:

1. Kansas Drivers - jumping into the left lane right in front of me going 20 MPH slower than I am.
2. City of Sterling, Kansas – Air Raid sirens go off EVERY DAY at 7,12,1, and 6.
3. Photo Radar tickets – You should have to get a ticket from a police officer, not a picture via mail.

Man of the Match:

Whoever has their internet access non-protected in the apartment complex near my work. I salute you.

Red Card

Local Grocery Store King Soopers: Discontinuing aluminum recycling.



Clip 93 – How to describe witnessing a crime.
Clip 94 – Backing up Song

Episode 5: Shek Republic Life in a Week – (Clip 79)

(Clip 92) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.

Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.

6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.

5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.

4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.

3. Hamburglar

2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.

1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.


The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Deathanol by Memphis 4 Now (Clip 91)

Thanks to: (Whoever called)


Shalom and Good Evening to you all!

Patron- Does this library have any information of King Malcolm the Tenth?
Reference Librarian – You mean the King from the play, Macbeth?
P – No I mean the civil rights leader.
RL – Oh, you mean Malcolm X.

P- Do you have a videotape of Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg address?
RL – No, we don’t.
P – You should get it. You have Bush on tape, and Lincoln was a greater President.
RL – Thanks for that historical analysis.

P- Do you have a good English translation of Hamlet?
RL – Yes, it’s by a man named William Shakespeare…very close to the original.

P – Who invented the time machine?
RL – H.G. Wells

P – I need information on the car BMW. How do you spell it?
RL – Go to the head of the class…you just did.

P – Why were so many Civil War battles fought in national parks?
RL – Trees provided great protection from bullets.

P – Do you have an audio tape of live dinosaur sounds?
RL – No, but you might want to try the zoo.

P – I need information on the woman named Rosetta Stone.
RL – Good luck. Let me know when you find it.

P- I need books on youth in Africa.
RL – You need books on young people in Africa?
P – No I need books about killing old people and vegetables.
RL – Oh, you have the wrong continent. That’s youth in Asia.

P – Is the correct term Swiss or Swedish?
RL – Yes.

P – I want to get the Gutenberg Bible on inter-library loan.
RL – That depends. Will you pay the shipping costs?

P – Do you have a copy of the Jerusalem newspaper on the day Jesus was born?
RL – No, but it might be on microfiche.

P- I need a book on impudence.
RL – Can you be more specific?
P – My husband can’t sustain an erection.

P – I need a cookbook for preparing dog food.
RL – You mean like kibbles and bits?
P – No for preparing a roast dachshund.

P – Is this library a government suppository?
RL – Sometimes it seems like it is.

P – I need a biography of a prehistoric man.
RL – How about Ralph the Hairy?