Show Prep 68

Greetings and Salutations, people.


Today on VSR – The Week in Wankery WILL happen this week…I promise! We’ll also have a Magnificent Seven list of the Top 7 Zoo animals, Episode 2 in our series “The Shek Republic in a Week” is ready to roll, I’m going to introduce you all to a podcast to which you MUST start listening, and I have a blooper that came from my buddy Doug as he was working dispatch for the Colorado State highway patrol. All this, plus music and the news, of course.

Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1

To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com


Before we go TOO much further, let’s roll with the news!
 



Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)




BISMARCK, N.D. (AP) -- A North Dakota inmate was not afraid of making a spectacle of himself when he grabbed another suspect's glasses and started to eat them.

Burleigh County Sheriff's Maj. Les Witkowski says the 42-year-old inmate at the county detention center became frustrated Aug. 1 when he was not able to talk to the chaplain, so he swallowed both lenses and a piece of the metal frame.

He had been booked on an aggravated assault charge just five hours earlier.

Witkowski says the inmate was taken to a hospital emergency room but was returned to jail after doctors determined he was OK.

The glasses were worth $250. Authorities are considering a criminal mischief charge against him.


BALTIMORE (AP) -- A Baltimore man has been sentenced to a year and a half in jail for faking seizures to get out of paying restaurant bills. City prosecutors said 43-year-old Andrew Palmer pleaded guilty last week to one count of theft scheme, and a judge agreed to impose an 18-month sentence - the maximum Palmer could have received.

Prosecutors said Palmer ate and drank at several restaurants between April and July, and when he couldn't pay, he would feign a seizure that required medical personnel to respond. The maximum penalty for each individual offense was 90 days in jail because the value of each meal was less than $100.

Court records show Palmer has a long criminal record that includes 40 convictions for theft and dozens more arrests.










DAVENPORT, Iowa (AP) -- Maybe he was testing a new recipe.

Chef Christopher Turla earned his Davenport, Iowa restaurant a $335 ticket Wednesday after health inspectors saw a video of him kissing and licking toads in the kitchen.

The video shows the chef with two small toads on a kitchen prep table at the restaurant Osaka. He kisses the toads a few times, licks them, then stuffs them in his mouth.

Turla says it was just a joke. But the Scott County Health Department isn't laughing.

Food inspector Lindsay Gorishek says toads carry several diseases and that Turla had the toads in his mouth and then back in his hands on the prep table.

Restaurant owner Yidi When says he'll pay the ticket. He also says Turla is just a funny guy who needs some more training about restaurant sanitation.

 


BOSTON (AP) – After seeing his health quickly deteriorate over a number of days, 75 year old Ron Sveden feared the worst, The former teacher, who also had spent years running a retail fish market and smokehouse, had seen his already-frail health begin to falter further in prior months. He already knew he had emphysema but lately was having bad coughing spells.

"Everything seemed to be going downhill," said Sveden, of Brewster. "I seemed to be tired a lot more. I didn't want to do too much. My appetite was diminishing."

The news sounded even more dire when he was told at the hospital that he was dehydrated and suffering from pneumonia. Then came X-rays showing a small but ominous dark spot. His doctors decided their only option was to go inside and see for themselves.

"There was a lot of inflammation there and I thought, OK, there's a tumor at the bottom of this," said Dr. Jeff Spillane, who went in with a scope.

But the more Spillane probed at the encrusted mass, the clearer it became that it was no tumor.

"It was pretty grungy, but it looked like a pea," Spillane said. "I sent it to the pathologist. They said it was a vegetable."

It took less than half an hour to clear away the sprout, drain some of the fluid that had built up around it, and help restore the lung's capacity.

When Ron awoke from surgery he was treated to a very unusual diagnosis. Ron didn't have cancer. He had a pea sprouting inside his chest.

"A couple days in a dark, wet environment, I'd sprout too," Dr. Jeff Spillane said Thursday. "It definitely had a sprout."

It was a long way from the diagnosis Sveden, 75, had feared when he arrived at Cape Cod Hospital on Memorial Day weekend.

After his surgery in June, Sveden spent three weeks in the hospital and a week in rehab. He said he feels fine now and is still amazed by that something as small as a pea could create such a big health headache.

Doctors say it's not unusual for a patient to accidentally inhale a small object, it is unusual however to have that item lodge itself in your lung and start growing. Just further proof that no matter what health nuts tell you…Vegetables CAN kill you.


I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Doug’s Oops – Do you want Sex? (Clip 73)


Week in Wankery:

Yellow Card:
-Title Closer who required that our appraisal read Pike’s instead of Pikes
-“Have you dined with us before?” Waiter
-Douche in Target who “Sprained his ankle” and was making a mountain out of the molehill.
-The people who made “Cats and Dogs 2: Revenge of Kitty Galore”

Man of the Match: People with the last name Dameshek – Looks like VSR is going to have both Brandon Dameshek and Dave Dameshek on to yap at some point this month, as both have agreed to appear. I’m still working out the details with both of them, but that is clearly good news for this esteemed program.


Red Card:
-Advertisements against Meth on Blogtalkradio.com – “Meth - Not even once” Look, I’m all for awareness, but these pictures of these supposed Meth addicts would give Zombies nightmares. As I’m doing prep by uploading audio to Blogtalk, I do NOT need my kids walking by and getting these images stuck in their heads, and end up having nightmares.


Shek Republic in a Week – Episode 2 – What is your take on Mustard?
(Episode 2 – Clip 78)


Magnificent Seven – 7 best animals at the zoo. (Clip 7)

Honorable Mentions:
Rhino, Penguin, Zebra, Monkeys, Sea Lion, Grizzly Bear, Warthog, Lion

7. Hippo
6. Polar Bear
5. Anteater – Jackie Mason and Dean Martin
4. Gorilla
3. Giraffe
2. Tiger
1. Elephant

Grasshopper infestation and Broncos injuries…Is Denver plagued?



Shek Republic in a Week:
1. How were you introduced to Dave Dameshek?
2. What is your take on mustard?
3. Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
4. Who is your hero and why?
5. What's the most interesting thing you could wish for?

The Moth – Michaela Murphy - All-Star game story (Clip 72) (16:30)

The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
The Suburbs – Arcade Fire
Half Light II (No Celebration) (Clip 91)
“Pray to God that I won’t see, the death of everything that’s wild.”

Thanks to: (Whoever called)


Shalom and Good Evening to you all!







 


Top 7 Bad Euphemisms:

-Friendly Fire
-Flight Attendant
-To Pass Away
-Putting a dog to sleep
-Gentleman’s Club
-For Mature Audiences
-Big Boned
-Full Figured
-In a Family Way
-Laid Off


Deaths:
Puritans – Not so nice to the dead all the time. (Talk about the burial ground)

Who’s death would cause the biggest world wide sadness?



Pooping in public: No shame, or hide your feet? (Clip 81 – MM’s rap)