Greetings and Salutations, people! - Much too early for a Christmas Special Christmas Special.
Today on VSR –
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Investigators from the Florida Fire Marshal's office are trying to determine why a naked man sitting in a lawn chair outside an apartment building was laughing while a fire destroyed four units.
The detectives think the man might have started the fire, which was the cause of his enjoyment. Four families lost their homes when flames burned through the apartments in the Maitland complex on Tuesday. Six other units were filled with smoke.
Everyone got out of their apartments before the flames spread and there were no injuries, but several witnesses noticed the naked man sitting in a chair in front of his home and laughing. A neighbor said the 56-year old man was "on his porch butt-naked and laughing at the whole thing."
While ten residents try to find a new place to live and make new holiday plans, police and fire investigators are considering arson charges for the naked man with the strange sense of humor.
An Illinois man who was stopped with a pipe bomb in his backpack told police he had been carrying it for two years, chicagobreakingnews.com reported Tuesday.
Ryan Barton, 20, was charged with unlawful use of a weapon after police discovered the bomb when questioning him about a series of auto burglaries in Wheeling, Ill.
Police said he was not linked to the thefts.
Barton, of Arlington Heights, Ill., gave no reason for carrying the bomb but said a former friend helped him build it.
A German woman who splashed out on breast implants with a loan from her then boyfriend now fears her assets could be re-possessed after she failed to fully reimburse him, the 20-year-old woman told a German newspaper.
Her ex-boyfriend is demanding that she return the 4,379 euros ($5,865 USD) he gave her to pay for her breast enlargement surgery in 2009 or he'll call the police and get the repossessors involved, Bild reported on Wednesday.
"It's true that Carsten signed a loan agreement shortly before the operation," the woman named only as Anastasia is quoted saying. "The condition was that I wouldn't have to pay him back if I stayed with him for a year."
But the pair split shortly after she underwent the plastic surgery. The woman said she had transferred 3,000 euros into her ex-boyfriend's account last week.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
Best and Worst things about Christmas:
Best – Aaron
Worst – Aaron
Both – Whale
Simultaneously the best and worst thing about Christmas is this song: (Clip 93)
Black Friday: Insanity (Clip 31 – Lori Davenport) – St. Petersburg, Florida
Need a terrible gift? Smittens.biz
He-Man Movie Watchers Club: (Clip 4)
On the docket for today, a Christmas movie…sort of:
- Today: Die Hard
- Next week: The Sting
- Open to future suggestions:
Die Hard:
This movie is totally of the 80’s:
Ellis doing Coke in John McClane’s wife’s office
McClane is shocked by a touch screen – Super Deluxe fancy
Crappy Rap in the tape deck of the limo driven by “Argyle” the limo driver
McClane lights up a cigarette right in the airport baggage claim area
Alan Rickman is awesome in this and Bruce Willis is very cool too, but apart from that…Kind of a goofy movie.
Multitude of hateable characters:
-Blonde dude (Carl) who has it out for McClane because McClane kills his brother
-Ellis: The stock broker (Hans, Boobie – Clip 36)
-BOTH Television guys – The Anchor (Clip 40) and the reporter who breaks in on the McClane housekeeper with the kids so he can interview them.
-The Cop from LA who is running things (Also he is the principle from Breakfast Club)
Interesting that with all the people dying in this one, all three of the black characters live to see the end. It kind of goes against the Action Flick rule that the black dude dies quickly. Although, all three black characters are kind of lame.
-There is Argyle - the Limo driver
-Al, A.K.A. Carl Winslow from Family Matters, the good but chunky desk ridden cop who killed a 13 year old kid and now pushes a pencil. (Saves McClane at the end, though)
-Theo – The Terrorist’s hacker (QB is toast – Clip 35)
Magnificent Seven – Top 7 NFL throwback uniforms:
Honorable Mention
Rams – Royal blue and yellow
Buccaneers – Bucco Bruce Butterscotch pudding uniforms
Broncos – Vertically Striped Socks
Bengals – Boomer Esiason era uniforms
Broncos – 80’s era
Colts – Weird helmets
Top 7 NFL Throwback Uniforms:
7. Falcons red helmets/red jerseys
6. Raiders AFL Throwbacks
5. Bills White Helmets
4. Cowboys White Helmets
3. Eagles Green
2. Pat Patriot
1. Chargers white helmets with numbers and baby blue
TSA – Our friends at the Transportation Security Administration: New scanning machines and procedures: I’m okay with them seeing me naked (That is it’s own punishment for TSA) and the tiny bit of radiation doesn’t bother me, but the idea of them doing intensive frisking (groin area) makes me queasy. (Clip 53 – Dave Barry vs TSA)
Should I retire from fantasy football?
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Frank Sinatra – Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas (Clip 91)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
(Clip 50) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The brainiac team that runs the Invesco Field Escalators
-The US Mint: New Pennies? (See Below)
-Oversensitive NFL Refs – I’m all for protecting players, I really am, but some of these penalties are getting ridiculous.
Man of the Match:
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
Josh McDaniels
Why do we have new pennies? – The new Lincoln pennies celebrating the life of our 16th president.
Coins are getting dumb:
Penny – Worth 1 cent, costs almost 2 cents to make
Nickel – Worth 5 cents, costs 7.7 cents to make
Now we are minting NEW Lincoln pennies? Why? I get it’s to honor Lincoln, but seriously, pennies?
In fact, penny melting is becoming popular, and a regular cottage industry of melting down pennies to sell the copper and zinc (97.5% Zinc 2.5% copper) has arisen due to the fact that the pennies are worth more melted than as money. The government has actually had to make it a crime to melt pennies, and if you’re caught doing so, you can be imprisoned for as much a five years for the crime.
Great Moments in the history of Blogtalk Radio: (Intro Clip 11)
-The Ed finds a special dog (Clip 25)
Dick Van Dyke singing Dick Van Dyke show theme: (Clip 79)
Pearls of Wisdom: M&M Cookies are NEVER as good as they look.
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
Salute to a crazy name: Peter Doody
Subway for Breakfast?
On Average, Right handed people live nine years longer than lefties.
Apparently Laptop computers cook your testicles. You’re less likely to be fertile if you use a laptop regularly.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Show Description
OLD:
Vertically Striped Radio is the least helpful Self-Help show in American History. It's a fun combination of Internet Memes, Sports, Movies, Pop Culture, Music, and things that make you think. VSR is a heaping slice of the goofy side of American life. Join host and Denver Bronco fan Craig Dodge and his most regular caller and devout hockey fan Face Ventura on this not to be missed show, and don't forget to check out www.VerticallyStripedSocks.com, the blog companion to the show.
NEW: (As of November 4, 2010)
Vertically Striped Radio (Brought to you by VerticallyStripedSocks.com) is half sports, half pop culture, and half really bad at fractions. Basically it’s a combination of Internet Memes, Sports, Movies, Pop Culture, Music, and things that make you think. Join host and Denver Bronco fan Craig Dodge and his most regular caller Face Ventura (don’t call him a co-host) along with all the VSR regulars as we strive to put right what once went wrong, and hope each time that our next leap…will be the leap home.
Vertically Striped Radio is the least helpful Self-Help show in American History. It's a fun combination of Internet Memes, Sports, Movies, Pop Culture, Music, and things that make you think. VSR is a heaping slice of the goofy side of American life. Join host and Denver Bronco fan Craig Dodge and his most regular caller and devout hockey fan Face Ventura on this not to be missed show, and don't forget to check out www.VerticallyStripedSocks.com, the blog companion to the show.
NEW: (As of November 4, 2010)
Vertically Striped Radio (Brought to you by VerticallyStripedSocks.com) is half sports, half pop culture, and half really bad at fractions. Basically it’s a combination of Internet Memes, Sports, Movies, Pop Culture, Music, and things that make you think. Join host and Denver Bronco fan Craig Dodge and his most regular caller Face Ventura (don’t call him a co-host) along with all the VSR regulars as we strive to put right what once went wrong, and hope each time that our next leap…will be the leap home.
Show Prep 82
Greetings and Salutations, people! - Colorado Rapids time in America, people! MLS Cup is tomorrow, and for just the second time in MLS history, the Rapids are in the Final. Against FC Dallas…the former Dallas Burn.
Today on VSR – Only an Hourish long show today, I’m getting ready to go to Breckenridge with the family and my mother-in-law. We have a free condo because my mom-in-law has agreed to sit through a time-share presentation, so this should be great so long as we can deal with keeping the time-share sales people from convincing her to buy. We’ll have our first edition of our yet unnamed movie segment, and the final first round matchup of the Super Mario music tourney, we may talk a bit about pennies and the TSA and whatever else we can squeeze into an hour. Of course we’ll have the music recommendation and the news, and if you’d like to chime in, feel free to call…
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
SALMON, Idaho (Reuters) – An Idaho judge has set bond at $100,000 for a Boise woman police say posed as a physician and duped at least two other women into having their breasts examined by her at Boise-area nightclubs.
Kristina Ross, 37, remains in Ada County Jail in Boise on two felony counts of practicing medicine without a license.
Police say Ross introduced herself to victims -- one at a downtown Boise bar and the other at a nightclub in a Boise suburb -- as a plastic surgeon named Berlyn Aussieahshowna, a name that turned out to be bogus.
The two women told Boise officers they believed Ross was a physician because of her apparent medical knowledge, and they agreed to undergo what they thought were breast exams, which happened at the bars.
As part of her ruse, Ross gave the women the telephone number of a real licensed plastic surgeon in Boise, the state capital, authorities said.
Staff at that medical office became alarmed at the number of calls they received from women in recent weeks attempting to confirm appointments or surgeries with a Berlyn Aussieahshowna, according to charging documents.
Medical workers on Tuesday alerted Boise police about the pattern, and they later arrested Ross.
The suspect's gender is unclear. Idaho court records show that Ross was arrested for petty theft in the spring and that the arrest warrant was issued to a Kristoffer Jon Ross.
The Idaho Statesman website reported that Ross has a previous criminal record as a man but identifies herself as a woman and was booked into Ada County Jail as a female.
Cosmetic surgical procedures Ross discussed with victims after she touched their breasts under the guise of a medical evaluation included breast augmentation and liposuction.
MANCHESTER, N.H. (AP) – New Hampshire woman Bonnie Usher robbed a Rite Aid Friday morning, but her getaway was hampered by her own vanity. You see, despite a successful robbery and getaway, Ms. Usher made one small mistake:
Police say a motorist watched the woman flee from the Rite Aid parking lot in Manchester. The witness also reported seeing the woman toss items from her car Friday morning this odd behavior was even easier to remember due to Bonnie Usher’s license plate.
The vanity plate read "B-USHER." That’s right, Her name was on the license plate of the getaway car.
Police were able to use that distinctive license plate to determine that the car was registered to 43-year-old Bonnie Usher, who was arrested at her home. Police also recovered stolen money and found a ski mask tossed from the car. Oops.
AUSTRALIA - Sometimes you just have to find the girl. Steve Tucker, a government worker in Australia, met a mysterious and enchanting woman at a party. He was smitten with her, yes…he was in deep smit. He couldn’t forget her, even though the only thing he knew about her was that her name was Olivia. So what’s a obsessed and slightly creepy young lad to do? Why, start a carpet bombing email campaign to try and find her, of course. Steve emailed everyone in the entire Australian Department of Immigration and Citizenship…All 7,000 employees.
He couldn't forget the enchanting person he knew only as Olivia. So in a move that is hard to categorize as anything but desperate, he emailed ALL his colleagues for help. Steve has not apologized for spamming the entire Department of Immigration and Citizenship, and in a way, he was even successful. Olivia did come forward. However, this story falls just shy of a happy ending. Yes, Olivia DID come forward, but only to say she wasn't interested in Steve.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
NEXT WEEK: “The much too early for a Christmas Special Christmas Special”
-Holiday music, perhaps some holiday themed list, and most important YOUR INPUT!
Super Mario Bros. Tournament: (Intro Clip 70)
Last matchup:
3 Seed Violin advances over the 6 Seed Banjo
This Week:
4 Seed – Poizunus - Super Mario Beatbox
vs.
5 Seed – Super Mario RC Car
Movie Segment:
What should we call the movie segment?
-Men on Film (2 snaps in a circle) (Clip 88)
-VSR at the movies
-VSR Movie Club
-Vertically Striped Movies
What movies do we want to put on the docket?
-Today: Rocky
- Next week: The Sting
-Open to future suggestions
Rocky:
Weird Theme Song: Simultaneously one of the best and worst theme songs in movie history. Best – (Clip 90) Worst – (Clip 91) – Gonna Fly Now: Brass music mixed with Disco mixed with weird choral arrangement. Just weird. Yet it works beautifully, just so long as you don’t linger on the vocals.
Rocky – Just a bonehead
Mickey – Spouts some of the best dialogue in the film.
City of Philadelphia – Worst place on earth? Nothing but garbage stacked up and fires in barrels everywhere. Very bleak. It’s almost a character in the movie all by itself.
Rocky – Random scene where he gives advice to the fat girl
Rocky – Beating the crap out of sides of beef
Rocky – Doesn’t keep his hands up, blocks punches with his face
Adrian – Is there a more awkward woman on earth than Adrian?
Adrian – She waits in the dressing room for most of the fight with Apollo instead of in the arena?
Adrian – She cleans up the apartment once she moves in with Rocky, although Rock lets her go a little nuts. Dog posters and flowery wall paper all over everything.
Apollo – More businessman than fighter for most of the film.
Rocky and Adrian: Strangest date in movie history?
The whole theme of the movie: Redemption and 2nd chances: Rocky gets to redeem his life, Adrian gets redemption by leaving Pauly, Mickey gets redemption by Philadelphia gets redemption by hosting the bicentennial party, Apollo gets redemption by remembering that he is a fighter and what it takes to be great, Pauly gets redemption by…Getting advertising on Rocky’s robe?
Should I retire from fantasy football?
Why do we have new pennies? – The new Lincoln pennies celebrating the life of our 16th president.
Coins are getting dumb:
Penny – Worth 1 cent, costs almost 2 cents to make
Nickel – Worth 5 cents, costs 7.7 cents to make
Now we are minting NEW Lincoln pennies? Why? I get it’s to honor Lincoln, but seriously, pennies?
In fact, penny melting is becoming popular, and a regular cottage industry of melting down pennies to sell the copper and zinc (97.5% Zinc 2.5% copper) has arisen due to the fact that the pennies are worth more melted than as money. The government has actually had to make it a crime to melt pennies, and if you’re caught doing so, you can be imprisoned for as much a five years for the crime.
TSA – Our friends at the Transportation Security Administration: New scanning machines and procedures: I’m okay with them seeing me naked (That is it’s own punishment for TSA) and the tiny bit of radiation doesn’t bother me, but the idea of them doing intensive frisking (groin area) makes me queasy. (Clip 95 – Dave Barry vs TSA)
Great Moments in the history of Blogtalk Radio: (Intro Clip 11)
-The Ed finds a special dog (Clip 25)
Garfield Cartoon: No issue at all, if it wasn’t published on Veterans Day
Dick Van Dyke singing Dick Van Dyke show theme: (Clip 79)
Pearls of Wisdom: M&M Cookies are NEVER as good as they look.
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
Salute to a crazy name: Peter Doody
Subway for Breakfast?
On Average, Right handed people live nine years longer than lefties.
Apparently Laptop computers cook your testicles. You’re less likely to be fertile if you use a laptop regularly.
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The brainiac team that runs the Invesco Field Escalators
-The US Mint: New Pennies?
-Oversensitive NFL Refs – I’m all for protecting players, I really am, but some of these penalties are getting ridiculous.
Man of the Match:
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
Josh McDaniels
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
“Do You Realize” by the Flaming Lips (Clip 97)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
(Clip 40) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
LONDON (AP) -- He missed the plane. Now thousands of annoyed Internet users say authorities missed the joke.
When Paul Chambers was arrested and fined for posting a jocular message to micro-blogging site Twitter in which he threatened to blow up northern England's Robin Hood Airport if it didn't reopen in time for his flight, it caused a minor stir.
Now that a court has turned down his appeal, the Internet has come alive with outrage, with thousands of online fans posting comic threats to the regional airport out of solidarity.
Many have added the tag "IAmSpartacus" to their posts - a reference to the Stanley Kubrick's 1960 epic "Spartacus," in which the titular hero's fellow rebels all assume his identity in a gesture of solidarity.
The act of online revolt - the AP counted some 5,000 posts carrying the "IAmSpartacus" tag within two hours - seems to have cowed authorities. A spokeswoman for South Yorkshire Police, which originally arrested Chambers, scoffed and said "no" when asked if police planned on arresting any of Chambers' online fans.
But she refused to answer when asked why the thousands of jokey threats to blow Robin Hood Airport "sky high" would be treated any differently than Chambers' original tweet, which resulted in his arrest.
The Spartacus reference was Twitter's top trending subject worldwide, while rights groups back in Britain weighed the implications of Chambers' failed appeal - warning that the so-called "Twitter Joke Trial" had set an ugly precedent for free speech online.
Police and prosecutors "seem to have completely ignored the notion of context, which is a very dangerous thing," said Padraig Reidy of the London-based Index on Censorship. "If he genuinely intended to blow up the airport, he wouldn't have tweeted it. It's obviously a joke."
Chambers' lawyer, David Allen Green, said his client's case should never have gone to court.
According to accounts carried on Green's blog and in the British media, the 27-year-old was alarmed when heavy snow closed Robin Hood Airport, which he was due to fly out of in order to see a friend he'd met online.
In a profane message posted to dozens of followers on Jan. 6, he stated: "Robin Hood Airport is closed. You've got a week and a bit to get (it) together, otherwise I'm blowing the airport sky high!!"
The tweet might've faded into the obscurity of Internet had it not been discovered by an airport duty manager browsing the Internet five days later. The manager forwarded the offending tweet on to his station manager, and - even though the threat was deemed "non-credible" - it was passed on to police.
On Jan. 13, a week after Chambers' intemperate post, he was arrested and questioned. Chambers' case file notes that "there is no evidence at this stage that this is anything other than a foolish comment posted on Twitter as a joke for only his close friends to see," but he was charged and convicted in any case.
Rejecting Chambers' appeal Thursday, Judge Jacqueline Davies at Doncaster Crown Court ordered him to pay 2,000 pounds ($3,225) in prosecution costs, in addition to a 385 pound fine.
Writer and actor Stephen Fry - one of several celebrities backing Chambers' cause - offered financial help, tweeting "whatever they fine you, I'll pay."
Green said his client, who has since lost his job, is still considering his legal options.
Today on VSR – Only an Hourish long show today, I’m getting ready to go to Breckenridge with the family and my mother-in-law. We have a free condo because my mom-in-law has agreed to sit through a time-share presentation, so this should be great so long as we can deal with keeping the time-share sales people from convincing her to buy. We’ll have our first edition of our yet unnamed movie segment, and the final first round matchup of the Super Mario music tourney, we may talk a bit about pennies and the TSA and whatever else we can squeeze into an hour. Of course we’ll have the music recommendation and the news, and if you’d like to chime in, feel free to call…
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
SALMON, Idaho (Reuters) – An Idaho judge has set bond at $100,000 for a Boise woman police say posed as a physician and duped at least two other women into having their breasts examined by her at Boise-area nightclubs.
Kristina Ross, 37, remains in Ada County Jail in Boise on two felony counts of practicing medicine without a license.
Police say Ross introduced herself to victims -- one at a downtown Boise bar and the other at a nightclub in a Boise suburb -- as a plastic surgeon named Berlyn Aussieahshowna, a name that turned out to be bogus.
The two women told Boise officers they believed Ross was a physician because of her apparent medical knowledge, and they agreed to undergo what they thought were breast exams, which happened at the bars.
As part of her ruse, Ross gave the women the telephone number of a real licensed plastic surgeon in Boise, the state capital, authorities said.
Staff at that medical office became alarmed at the number of calls they received from women in recent weeks attempting to confirm appointments or surgeries with a Berlyn Aussieahshowna, according to charging documents.
Medical workers on Tuesday alerted Boise police about the pattern, and they later arrested Ross.
The suspect's gender is unclear. Idaho court records show that Ross was arrested for petty theft in the spring and that the arrest warrant was issued to a Kristoffer Jon Ross.
The Idaho Statesman website reported that Ross has a previous criminal record as a man but identifies herself as a woman and was booked into Ada County Jail as a female.
Cosmetic surgical procedures Ross discussed with victims after she touched their breasts under the guise of a medical evaluation included breast augmentation and liposuction.
MANCHESTER, N.H. (AP) – New Hampshire woman Bonnie Usher robbed a Rite Aid Friday morning, but her getaway was hampered by her own vanity. You see, despite a successful robbery and getaway, Ms. Usher made one small mistake:
Police say a motorist watched the woman flee from the Rite Aid parking lot in Manchester. The witness also reported seeing the woman toss items from her car Friday morning this odd behavior was even easier to remember due to Bonnie Usher’s license plate.
The vanity plate read "B-USHER." That’s right, Her name was on the license plate of the getaway car.
Police were able to use that distinctive license plate to determine that the car was registered to 43-year-old Bonnie Usher, who was arrested at her home. Police also recovered stolen money and found a ski mask tossed from the car. Oops.
AUSTRALIA - Sometimes you just have to find the girl. Steve Tucker, a government worker in Australia, met a mysterious and enchanting woman at a party. He was smitten with her, yes…he was in deep smit. He couldn’t forget her, even though the only thing he knew about her was that her name was Olivia. So what’s a obsessed and slightly creepy young lad to do? Why, start a carpet bombing email campaign to try and find her, of course. Steve emailed everyone in the entire Australian Department of Immigration and Citizenship…All 7,000 employees.
He couldn't forget the enchanting person he knew only as Olivia. So in a move that is hard to categorize as anything but desperate, he emailed ALL his colleagues for help. Steve has not apologized for spamming the entire Department of Immigration and Citizenship, and in a way, he was even successful. Olivia did come forward. However, this story falls just shy of a happy ending. Yes, Olivia DID come forward, but only to say she wasn't interested in Steve.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
NEXT WEEK: “The much too early for a Christmas Special Christmas Special”
-Holiday music, perhaps some holiday themed list, and most important YOUR INPUT!
Super Mario Bros. Tournament: (Intro Clip 70)
Last matchup:
3 Seed Violin advances over the 6 Seed Banjo
This Week:
4 Seed – Poizunus - Super Mario Beatbox
vs.
5 Seed – Super Mario RC Car
Movie Segment:
What should we call the movie segment?
-Men on Film (2 snaps in a circle) (Clip 88)
-VSR at the movies
-VSR Movie Club
-Vertically Striped Movies
What movies do we want to put on the docket?
-Today: Rocky
- Next week: The Sting
-Open to future suggestions
Rocky:
Weird Theme Song: Simultaneously one of the best and worst theme songs in movie history. Best – (Clip 90) Worst – (Clip 91) – Gonna Fly Now: Brass music mixed with Disco mixed with weird choral arrangement. Just weird. Yet it works beautifully, just so long as you don’t linger on the vocals.
Rocky – Just a bonehead
Mickey – Spouts some of the best dialogue in the film.
City of Philadelphia – Worst place on earth? Nothing but garbage stacked up and fires in barrels everywhere. Very bleak. It’s almost a character in the movie all by itself.
Rocky – Random scene where he gives advice to the fat girl
Rocky – Beating the crap out of sides of beef
Rocky – Doesn’t keep his hands up, blocks punches with his face
Adrian – Is there a more awkward woman on earth than Adrian?
Adrian – She waits in the dressing room for most of the fight with Apollo instead of in the arena?
Adrian – She cleans up the apartment once she moves in with Rocky, although Rock lets her go a little nuts. Dog posters and flowery wall paper all over everything.
Apollo – More businessman than fighter for most of the film.
Rocky and Adrian: Strangest date in movie history?
The whole theme of the movie: Redemption and 2nd chances: Rocky gets to redeem his life, Adrian gets redemption by leaving Pauly, Mickey gets redemption by Philadelphia gets redemption by hosting the bicentennial party, Apollo gets redemption by remembering that he is a fighter and what it takes to be great, Pauly gets redemption by…Getting advertising on Rocky’s robe?
Should I retire from fantasy football?
Why do we have new pennies? – The new Lincoln pennies celebrating the life of our 16th president.
Coins are getting dumb:
Penny – Worth 1 cent, costs almost 2 cents to make
Nickel – Worth 5 cents, costs 7.7 cents to make
Now we are minting NEW Lincoln pennies? Why? I get it’s to honor Lincoln, but seriously, pennies?
In fact, penny melting is becoming popular, and a regular cottage industry of melting down pennies to sell the copper and zinc (97.5% Zinc 2.5% copper) has arisen due to the fact that the pennies are worth more melted than as money. The government has actually had to make it a crime to melt pennies, and if you’re caught doing so, you can be imprisoned for as much a five years for the crime.
TSA – Our friends at the Transportation Security Administration: New scanning machines and procedures: I’m okay with them seeing me naked (That is it’s own punishment for TSA) and the tiny bit of radiation doesn’t bother me, but the idea of them doing intensive frisking (groin area) makes me queasy. (Clip 95 – Dave Barry vs TSA)
Great Moments in the history of Blogtalk Radio: (Intro Clip 11)
-The Ed finds a special dog (Clip 25)
Garfield Cartoon: No issue at all, if it wasn’t published on Veterans Day
Dick Van Dyke singing Dick Van Dyke show theme: (Clip 79)
Pearls of Wisdom: M&M Cookies are NEVER as good as they look.
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
Salute to a crazy name: Peter Doody
Subway for Breakfast?
On Average, Right handed people live nine years longer than lefties.
Apparently Laptop computers cook your testicles. You’re less likely to be fertile if you use a laptop regularly.
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The brainiac team that runs the Invesco Field Escalators
-The US Mint: New Pennies?
-Oversensitive NFL Refs – I’m all for protecting players, I really am, but some of these penalties are getting ridiculous.
Man of the Match:
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
Josh McDaniels
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
“Do You Realize” by the Flaming Lips (Clip 97)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
(Clip 40) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
LONDON (AP) -- He missed the plane. Now thousands of annoyed Internet users say authorities missed the joke.
When Paul Chambers was arrested and fined for posting a jocular message to micro-blogging site Twitter in which he threatened to blow up northern England's Robin Hood Airport if it didn't reopen in time for his flight, it caused a minor stir.
Now that a court has turned down his appeal, the Internet has come alive with outrage, with thousands of online fans posting comic threats to the regional airport out of solidarity.
Many have added the tag "IAmSpartacus" to their posts - a reference to the Stanley Kubrick's 1960 epic "Spartacus," in which the titular hero's fellow rebels all assume his identity in a gesture of solidarity.
The act of online revolt - the AP counted some 5,000 posts carrying the "IAmSpartacus" tag within two hours - seems to have cowed authorities. A spokeswoman for South Yorkshire Police, which originally arrested Chambers, scoffed and said "no" when asked if police planned on arresting any of Chambers' online fans.
But she refused to answer when asked why the thousands of jokey threats to blow Robin Hood Airport "sky high" would be treated any differently than Chambers' original tweet, which resulted in his arrest.
The Spartacus reference was Twitter's top trending subject worldwide, while rights groups back in Britain weighed the implications of Chambers' failed appeal - warning that the so-called "Twitter Joke Trial" had set an ugly precedent for free speech online.
Police and prosecutors "seem to have completely ignored the notion of context, which is a very dangerous thing," said Padraig Reidy of the London-based Index on Censorship. "If he genuinely intended to blow up the airport, he wouldn't have tweeted it. It's obviously a joke."
Chambers' lawyer, David Allen Green, said his client's case should never have gone to court.
According to accounts carried on Green's blog and in the British media, the 27-year-old was alarmed when heavy snow closed Robin Hood Airport, which he was due to fly out of in order to see a friend he'd met online.
In a profane message posted to dozens of followers on Jan. 6, he stated: "Robin Hood Airport is closed. You've got a week and a bit to get (it) together, otherwise I'm blowing the airport sky high!!"
The tweet might've faded into the obscurity of Internet had it not been discovered by an airport duty manager browsing the Internet five days later. The manager forwarded the offending tweet on to his station manager, and - even though the threat was deemed "non-credible" - it was passed on to police.
On Jan. 13, a week after Chambers' intemperate post, he was arrested and questioned. Chambers' case file notes that "there is no evidence at this stage that this is anything other than a foolish comment posted on Twitter as a joke for only his close friends to see," but he was charged and convicted in any case.
Rejecting Chambers' appeal Thursday, Judge Jacqueline Davies at Doncaster Crown Court ordered him to pay 2,000 pounds ($3,225) in prosecution costs, in addition to a 385 pound fine.
Writer and actor Stephen Fry - one of several celebrities backing Chambers' cause - offered financial help, tweeting "whatever they fine you, I'll pay."
Green said his client, who has since lost his job, is still considering his legal options.
Show Prep 81
Greetings and Salutations, people! - It’s the show that’s freaky like my lady pyramid! (Clip 27 – Nice, that’s nice!) This is Vertically Striped Radio. I am your slowly shrinking host, Craig Dodge, 257.5 lbs as of my 3:00 weigh in, which is still fat, but it is down exactly ten pounds from where I started October, so that’s going well. Welcome to the 80th edition of VSR. I know global warming is supposed to be this global disaster, but it’s 73 degrees outside today here in Denver, and it has yet to snow on us, so I’m enjoying it tremendously.
Today on VSR – A little sports talk as the entire sports world appears to be going insane, The Magnificent Seven will break down seven magnificent Beer Commercials, our second matchup in the Super Mario Bros Music Tourney, we will dust off a great moment in the history of Blogtalk Radio and best of all, the debut of the greatest commercial I’ve ever created will go down today.
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
SILVERTON, Ore. (AP) -- Having a safe Halloween took on a different meaning in one Oregon neighborhood, where trick-or-treating teenagers received condoms in their goodie bags. Daniel and Kathleen Harris, of Silverton, told The Statesman Journal the free condoms were part of their effort to promote health. They also handed out toothbrushes as well as candy bars.
The father of one 14-year-old girl who received the condoms, Daniel Cote, was offended and says it was inappropriate to give them to children without parents' consent.
Kathleen Harris said giving the condoms to the 14-year-old was a mistake. She said their usual practice is to ask teens if they're 16 or older and to give them a speech on safe sex.
Surprise, ARIZONA: Surprise police said a boy pulled a knife on his mother who refused to let him go trick-or-treating as a "gay Justin Bieber," the singer and teen idol.
The 12-year-old boy had been grounded Halloween night after an argument with his mother, who said his costume idea was disrespectful, police spokesman Sgt. Mark Ortega said.
After throwing a tantrum and getting grounded from trick-or-treating, he grabbed a knife from his room and threatened to kill her, Ortega said.
The mother disarmed her son without injury and called police.
Police arrested the pre-teen on suspicion of threatening his mother with a knife.
I can’t decide which is more disturbing, the fact that he pulled a knife on his mom over his Halloween Costume, or the fact that he wanted to dress as Justin Bieber in the first place.
AND FINALLY…LANCASTER, Pa. (AP) -- A central Pennsylvania man faces shoplifting charges after police said he tried to steal a pair of shoes by wearing them out of a department store. Lancaster police said 22-year-old Kyle Eckman went into a store dressing room and put on a pair of size-10 shoes then walked out without paying. He was quickly stopped outside the store with his own shoes inside the shoebox in a shopping bag.
Police said Eckman faces felony charges because of two prior retail theft convictions. He is being held on $50,000 bail.
Police were quickly able to identify this man as a shoplifter and nab him. It wasn’t that he looked shifty, was sweating profusely, or just looked generally untrustworthy. No, the major flaw in Mr. Eckman’s theft plan was that the shoes he was trying to wear out of the store were women’s high heels…I’m Craig, and THAT is the news.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
I have heard the cries of the people, and I am a little worried to announce that my cousin Tawni will appear on VSR.
Political Ad Game: - He Hates Children!
Randy Moss –
Not a fan of catering: How bad does free barbeque have to be before you complain about it? We’re talking BBQ chicken and ribs. How do you screw up chicken and ribs?
What exactly does Randy Moss feed his dogs if that wasn’t good enough for them?
How I can tell he his skills have diminished: If he were still good they wouldn’t have dumped him
Kevin Garnet vs. Charlie Villanueva:
-Either KG is an insensitive punk, or he is the worst trash talker in NBA history.
-You look like a Cancer Patient vs. You are cancerous to your team and our league. (Good day, sir!)
Mike Shanahan vs. Donovan McNabb:
Are we really supposed to believe that Shanny thought that Rex Grossman gave him his best chance to win?
Brett Favre:
-I almost felt sorry for him
-Was he playing it up? He looked like he had one foot in the grave as he was being carted off on Sunday
-Wow, he looks old and gray
Super Mario Bros. Tournament: (Intro Clip 70)
Last matchup:
8 seed Accordion shocks the 1 Seed, Japanese Beatboxer Hikakin, and moves on to the semi-finals
This Week:
2 Seed - Eminence Symphony Orchestra (Clip 72) – Almost 4 minutes long, but it’s good, so I’ll play it.
vs.
7 Seed - Brandon Urie (from Panic at the Disco) (Clip 77)
Magnificent Seven – Top 7 Beer Commercials:
7. Bud Light – Limo (Yes, I am!)
6. Molson Ice – Bob and Doug McKenzie with Guy LaFleur
5. Red Stripe – Hooray Beer!
4. Bud Light – Swear Jar
3. Molson Canadian – Chasing Beaver
2. Heineken – Oops – The best thing about this commercial is how all the men in the commercial act like Obi-Wan reacting to the destruction of Aalderan. They don’t know what has happened, but they feel the disturbance in the force.
The commercial begins with a guy working in a bar is trying to carry too many crates of Heineken and he drops the top case, bottles fall in slow motion with the epically sad music in the background. Cut to a boxing match where suddenly one of the boxers stops mid-fight and looks off in the distance sadly and then gets whalloped by the other guy. Cut to a swearing in ceremony where a dark skinned guy is happily being sworn in as a citizen and suddenly stops mid-oath sadly, a doctor in an operating room working suddenly stops and looks up, a punk rocker does the same and a guy standing in the street in the rain stops and starts looking around as if he is expecting to see something horrific, we then cut to two lovers lying in bed, the man is snuggling with his woman and suddenly recoils in horror to his side of the bed and when she tries to comfort him, he says “Don’t” Final cut to the beer bottles crashing to the ground and smashing.
1. Dos Equis – The Most Interesting Man in the World.
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
Great Moments in the history of Blogtalk Radio: (Intro Clip 11)
-The Ed finds a special dog (Clip 25)
Salute to a crazy name: Peter Doody
I work for a fun, but somewhat nutty company:
Halloween:
Set Director
Theme Advisor
Construction Superintendent
Prop Master
Treasurer
Lighting Technician
Flag Football Game: Annual Tradition
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The brainiac team that runs the Invesco Field Escalators
Man of the Match:
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
Josh McDaniels
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Tired Pony “I Finally Love this Town” and “Dead American Writers”
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
(Clip 40) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
Today on VSR – A little sports talk as the entire sports world appears to be going insane, The Magnificent Seven will break down seven magnificent Beer Commercials, our second matchup in the Super Mario Bros Music Tourney, we will dust off a great moment in the history of Blogtalk Radio and best of all, the debut of the greatest commercial I’ve ever created will go down today.
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
SILVERTON, Ore. (AP) -- Having a safe Halloween took on a different meaning in one Oregon neighborhood, where trick-or-treating teenagers received condoms in their goodie bags. Daniel and Kathleen Harris, of Silverton, told The Statesman Journal the free condoms were part of their effort to promote health. They also handed out toothbrushes as well as candy bars.
The father of one 14-year-old girl who received the condoms, Daniel Cote, was offended and says it was inappropriate to give them to children without parents' consent.
Kathleen Harris said giving the condoms to the 14-year-old was a mistake. She said their usual practice is to ask teens if they're 16 or older and to give them a speech on safe sex.
Surprise, ARIZONA: Surprise police said a boy pulled a knife on his mother who refused to let him go trick-or-treating as a "gay Justin Bieber," the singer and teen idol.
The 12-year-old boy had been grounded Halloween night after an argument with his mother, who said his costume idea was disrespectful, police spokesman Sgt. Mark Ortega said.
After throwing a tantrum and getting grounded from trick-or-treating, he grabbed a knife from his room and threatened to kill her, Ortega said.
The mother disarmed her son without injury and called police.
Police arrested the pre-teen on suspicion of threatening his mother with a knife.
I can’t decide which is more disturbing, the fact that he pulled a knife on his mom over his Halloween Costume, or the fact that he wanted to dress as Justin Bieber in the first place.
AND FINALLY…LANCASTER, Pa. (AP) -- A central Pennsylvania man faces shoplifting charges after police said he tried to steal a pair of shoes by wearing them out of a department store. Lancaster police said 22-year-old Kyle Eckman went into a store dressing room and put on a pair of size-10 shoes then walked out without paying. He was quickly stopped outside the store with his own shoes inside the shoebox in a shopping bag.
Police said Eckman faces felony charges because of two prior retail theft convictions. He is being held on $50,000 bail.
Police were quickly able to identify this man as a shoplifter and nab him. It wasn’t that he looked shifty, was sweating profusely, or just looked generally untrustworthy. No, the major flaw in Mr. Eckman’s theft plan was that the shoes he was trying to wear out of the store were women’s high heels…I’m Craig, and THAT is the news.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
I have heard the cries of the people, and I am a little worried to announce that my cousin Tawni will appear on VSR.
Political Ad Game: - He Hates Children!
Randy Moss –
Not a fan of catering: How bad does free barbeque have to be before you complain about it? We’re talking BBQ chicken and ribs. How do you screw up chicken and ribs?
What exactly does Randy Moss feed his dogs if that wasn’t good enough for them?
How I can tell he his skills have diminished: If he were still good they wouldn’t have dumped him
Kevin Garnet vs. Charlie Villanueva:
-Either KG is an insensitive punk, or he is the worst trash talker in NBA history.
-You look like a Cancer Patient vs. You are cancerous to your team and our league. (Good day, sir!)
Mike Shanahan vs. Donovan McNabb:
Are we really supposed to believe that Shanny thought that Rex Grossman gave him his best chance to win?
Brett Favre:
-I almost felt sorry for him
-Was he playing it up? He looked like he had one foot in the grave as he was being carted off on Sunday
-Wow, he looks old and gray
Super Mario Bros. Tournament: (Intro Clip 70)
Last matchup:
8 seed Accordion shocks the 1 Seed, Japanese Beatboxer Hikakin, and moves on to the semi-finals
This Week:
2 Seed - Eminence Symphony Orchestra (Clip 72) – Almost 4 minutes long, but it’s good, so I’ll play it.
vs.
7 Seed - Brandon Urie (from Panic at the Disco) (Clip 77)
Magnificent Seven – Top 7 Beer Commercials:
7. Bud Light – Limo (Yes, I am!)
6. Molson Ice – Bob and Doug McKenzie with Guy LaFleur
5. Red Stripe – Hooray Beer!
4. Bud Light – Swear Jar
3. Molson Canadian – Chasing Beaver
2. Heineken – Oops – The best thing about this commercial is how all the men in the commercial act like Obi-Wan reacting to the destruction of Aalderan. They don’t know what has happened, but they feel the disturbance in the force.
The commercial begins with a guy working in a bar is trying to carry too many crates of Heineken and he drops the top case, bottles fall in slow motion with the epically sad music in the background. Cut to a boxing match where suddenly one of the boxers stops mid-fight and looks off in the distance sadly and then gets whalloped by the other guy. Cut to a swearing in ceremony where a dark skinned guy is happily being sworn in as a citizen and suddenly stops mid-oath sadly, a doctor in an operating room working suddenly stops and looks up, a punk rocker does the same and a guy standing in the street in the rain stops and starts looking around as if he is expecting to see something horrific, we then cut to two lovers lying in bed, the man is snuggling with his woman and suddenly recoils in horror to his side of the bed and when she tries to comfort him, he says “Don’t” Final cut to the beer bottles crashing to the ground and smashing.
1. Dos Equis – The Most Interesting Man in the World.
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
Great Moments in the history of Blogtalk Radio: (Intro Clip 11)
-The Ed finds a special dog (Clip 25)
Salute to a crazy name: Peter Doody
I work for a fun, but somewhat nutty company:
Halloween:
Set Director
Theme Advisor
Construction Superintendent
Prop Master
Treasurer
Lighting Technician
Flag Football Game: Annual Tradition
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The brainiac team that runs the Invesco Field Escalators
Man of the Match:
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
Josh McDaniels
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Tired Pony “I Finally Love this Town” and “Dead American Writers”
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
(Clip 40) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
Show Prep 80
Greetings and Salutations, people! - It’s the show that’s freaky like my lady pyramid! (Clip 27 – Nice, that’s nice!) This is Vertically Striped Radio. I am your slowly shrinking host, Craig Dodge, 257.5 lbs as of my 3:00 weigh in, which is still fat, but it is down exactly ten pounds from where I started October, so that’s going well. Welcome to the 80th edition of VSR. I know global warming is supposed to be this global disaster, but it’s 73 degrees outside today here in Denver, and it has yet to snow on us, so I’m enjoying it tremendously.
Today on VSR – A little sports talk as the entire sports world appears to be going insane, The Magnificent Seven will break down seven magnificent Beer Commercials, our second matchup in the Super Mario Bros Music Tourney, we will dust off a great moment in the history of Blogtalk Radio and best of all, the debut of the greatest commercial I’ve ever created will go down today.
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
SILVERTON, Ore. (AP) -- Having a safe Halloween took on a different meaning in one Oregon neighborhood, where trick-or-treating teenagers received condoms in their goodie bags. Daniel and Kathleen Harris, of Silverton, told The Statesman Journal the free condoms were part of their effort to promote health. They also handed out toothbrushes as well as candy bars.
The father of one 14-year-old girl who received the condoms, Daniel Cote, was offended and says it was inappropriate to give them to children without parents' consent.
Kathleen Harris said giving the condoms to the 14-year-old was a mistake. She said their usual practice is to ask teens if they're 16 or older and to give them a speech on safe sex.
Surprise, ARIZONA: Surprise police said a boy pulled a knife on his mother who refused to let him go trick-or-treating as a "gay Justin Bieber," the singer and teen idol.
The 12-year-old boy had been grounded Halloween night after an argument with his mother, who said his costume idea was disrespectful, police spokesman Sgt. Mark Ortega said.
After throwing a tantrum and getting grounded from trick-or-treating, he grabbed a knife from his room and threatened to kill her, Ortega said.
The mother disarmed her son without injury and called police.
Police arrested the pre-teen on suspicion of threatening his mother with a knife.
I can’t decide which is more disturbing, the fact that he pulled a knife on his mom over his Halloween Costume, or the fact that he wanted to dress as Justin Bieber in the first place.
AND FINALLY…LANCASTER, Pa. (AP) -- A central Pennsylvania man faces shoplifting charges after police said he tried to steal a pair of shoes by wearing them out of a department store. Lancaster police said 22-year-old Kyle Eckman went into a store dressing room and put on a pair of size-10 shoes then walked out without paying. He was quickly stopped outside the store with his own shoes inside the shoebox in a shopping bag.
Police said Eckman faces felony charges because of two prior retail theft convictions. He is being held on $50,000 bail.
Police were quickly able to identify this man as a shoplifter and nab him. It wasn’t that he looked shifty, was sweating profusely, or just looked generally untrustworthy. No, the major flaw in Mr. Eckman’s theft plan was that the shoes he was trying to wear out of the store were women’s high heels…I’m Craig, and THAT is the news.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
I have heard the cries of the people, and I am a little worried to announce that my cousin Tawni will appear on VSR.
Political Ad Game: - He Hates Children!
Randy Moss –
Not a fan of catering: How bad does free barbeque have to be before you complain about it? We’re talking BBQ chicken and ribs. How do you screw up chicken and ribs?
What exactly does Randy Moss feed his dogs if that wasn’t good enough for them?
How I can tell he his skills have diminished: If he were still good they wouldn’t have dumped him
Kevin Garnet vs. Charlie Villanueva:
-Either KG is an insensitive punk, or he is the worst trash talker in NBA history.
-You look like a Cancer Patient vs. You are cancerous to your team and our league. (Good day, sir!)
Mike Shanahan vs. Donovan McNabb:
Are we really supposed to believe that Shanny thought that Rex Grossman gave him his best chance to win?
Brett Favre:
-I almost felt sorry for him
-Was he playing it up? He looked like he had one foot in the grave as he was being carted off on Sunday
-Wow, he looks old and gray
Super Mario Bros. Tournament: (Intro Clip 70)
Last matchup:
8 seed Accordion shocks the 1 Seed, Japanese Beatboxer Hikakin, and moves on to the semi-finals
This Week:
2 Seed - Eminence Symphony Orchestra (Clip 72) – Almost 4 minutes long, but it’s good, so I’ll play it.
vs.
7 Seed - Brandon Urie (from Panic at the Disco) (Clip 77)
Magnificent Seven – Top 7 Beer Commercials:
7. Bud Light – Limo (Yes, I am!)
6. Molson Ice – Bob and Doug McKenzie with Guy LaFleur
5. Red Stripe – Hooray Beer!
4. Bud Light – Swear Jar
3. Molson Canadian – Chasing Beaver
2. Heineken – Oops – The best thing about this commercial is how all the men in the commercial act like Obi-Wan reacting to the destruction of Aalderan. They don’t know what has happened, but they feel the disturbance in the force.
The commercial begins with a guy working in a bar is trying to carry too many crates of Heineken and he drops the top case, bottles fall in slow motion with the epically sad music in the background. Cut to a boxing match where suddenly one of the boxers stops mid-fight and looks off in the distance sadly and then gets whalloped by the other guy. Cut to a swearing in ceremony where a dark skinned guy is happily being sworn in as a citizen and suddenly stops mid-oath sadly, a doctor in an operating room working suddenly stops and looks up, a punk rocker does the same and a guy standing in the street in the rain stops and starts looking around as if he is expecting to see something horrific, we then cut to two lovers lying in bed, the man is snuggling with his woman and suddenly recoils in horror to his side of the bed and when she tries to comfort him, he says “Don’t” Final cut to the beer bottles crashing to the ground and smashing.
1. Dos Equis – The Most Interesting Man in the World.
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
Great Moments in the history of Blogtalk Radio: (Intro Clip 11)
-The Ed finds a special dog (Clip 25)
Salute to a crazy name: Peter Doody
I work for a fun, but somewhat nutty company:
Halloween:
Set Director
Theme Advisor
Construction Superintendent
Prop Master
Treasurer
Lighting Technician
Flag Football Game: Annual Tradition
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The brainiac team that runs the Invesco Field Escalators
Man of the Match:
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
Josh McDaniels
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Tired Pony “I Finally Love this Town” and “Dead American Writers”
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
(Clip 40) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
Today on VSR – A little sports talk as the entire sports world appears to be going insane, The Magnificent Seven will break down seven magnificent Beer Commercials, our second matchup in the Super Mario Bros Music Tourney, we will dust off a great moment in the history of Blogtalk Radio and best of all, the debut of the greatest commercial I’ve ever created will go down today.
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
SILVERTON, Ore. (AP) -- Having a safe Halloween took on a different meaning in one Oregon neighborhood, where trick-or-treating teenagers received condoms in their goodie bags. Daniel and Kathleen Harris, of Silverton, told The Statesman Journal the free condoms were part of their effort to promote health. They also handed out toothbrushes as well as candy bars.
The father of one 14-year-old girl who received the condoms, Daniel Cote, was offended and says it was inappropriate to give them to children without parents' consent.
Kathleen Harris said giving the condoms to the 14-year-old was a mistake. She said their usual practice is to ask teens if they're 16 or older and to give them a speech on safe sex.
Surprise, ARIZONA: Surprise police said a boy pulled a knife on his mother who refused to let him go trick-or-treating as a "gay Justin Bieber," the singer and teen idol.
The 12-year-old boy had been grounded Halloween night after an argument with his mother, who said his costume idea was disrespectful, police spokesman Sgt. Mark Ortega said.
After throwing a tantrum and getting grounded from trick-or-treating, he grabbed a knife from his room and threatened to kill her, Ortega said.
The mother disarmed her son without injury and called police.
Police arrested the pre-teen on suspicion of threatening his mother with a knife.
I can’t decide which is more disturbing, the fact that he pulled a knife on his mom over his Halloween Costume, or the fact that he wanted to dress as Justin Bieber in the first place.
AND FINALLY…LANCASTER, Pa. (AP) -- A central Pennsylvania man faces shoplifting charges after police said he tried to steal a pair of shoes by wearing them out of a department store. Lancaster police said 22-year-old Kyle Eckman went into a store dressing room and put on a pair of size-10 shoes then walked out without paying. He was quickly stopped outside the store with his own shoes inside the shoebox in a shopping bag.
Police said Eckman faces felony charges because of two prior retail theft convictions. He is being held on $50,000 bail.
Police were quickly able to identify this man as a shoplifter and nab him. It wasn’t that he looked shifty, was sweating profusely, or just looked generally untrustworthy. No, the major flaw in Mr. Eckman’s theft plan was that the shoes he was trying to wear out of the store were women’s high heels…I’m Craig, and THAT is the news.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
I have heard the cries of the people, and I am a little worried to announce that my cousin Tawni will appear on VSR.
Political Ad Game: - He Hates Children!
Randy Moss –
Not a fan of catering: How bad does free barbeque have to be before you complain about it? We’re talking BBQ chicken and ribs. How do you screw up chicken and ribs?
What exactly does Randy Moss feed his dogs if that wasn’t good enough for them?
How I can tell he his skills have diminished: If he were still good they wouldn’t have dumped him
Kevin Garnet vs. Charlie Villanueva:
-Either KG is an insensitive punk, or he is the worst trash talker in NBA history.
-You look like a Cancer Patient vs. You are cancerous to your team and our league. (Good day, sir!)
Mike Shanahan vs. Donovan McNabb:
Are we really supposed to believe that Shanny thought that Rex Grossman gave him his best chance to win?
Brett Favre:
-I almost felt sorry for him
-Was he playing it up? He looked like he had one foot in the grave as he was being carted off on Sunday
-Wow, he looks old and gray
Super Mario Bros. Tournament: (Intro Clip 70)
Last matchup:
8 seed Accordion shocks the 1 Seed, Japanese Beatboxer Hikakin, and moves on to the semi-finals
This Week:
2 Seed - Eminence Symphony Orchestra (Clip 72) – Almost 4 minutes long, but it’s good, so I’ll play it.
vs.
7 Seed - Brandon Urie (from Panic at the Disco) (Clip 77)
Magnificent Seven – Top 7 Beer Commercials:
7. Bud Light – Limo (Yes, I am!)
6. Molson Ice – Bob and Doug McKenzie with Guy LaFleur
5. Red Stripe – Hooray Beer!
4. Bud Light – Swear Jar
3. Molson Canadian – Chasing Beaver
2. Heineken – Oops – The best thing about this commercial is how all the men in the commercial act like Obi-Wan reacting to the destruction of Aalderan. They don’t know what has happened, but they feel the disturbance in the force.
The commercial begins with a guy working in a bar is trying to carry too many crates of Heineken and he drops the top case, bottles fall in slow motion with the epically sad music in the background. Cut to a boxing match where suddenly one of the boxers stops mid-fight and looks off in the distance sadly and then gets whalloped by the other guy. Cut to a swearing in ceremony where a dark skinned guy is happily being sworn in as a citizen and suddenly stops mid-oath sadly, a doctor in an operating room working suddenly stops and looks up, a punk rocker does the same and a guy standing in the street in the rain stops and starts looking around as if he is expecting to see something horrific, we then cut to two lovers lying in bed, the man is snuggling with his woman and suddenly recoils in horror to his side of the bed and when she tries to comfort him, he says “Don’t” Final cut to the beer bottles crashing to the ground and smashing.
1. Dos Equis – The Most Interesting Man in the World.
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
Great Moments in the history of Blogtalk Radio: (Intro Clip 11)
-The Ed finds a special dog (Clip 25)
Salute to a crazy name: Peter Doody
I work for a fun, but somewhat nutty company:
Halloween:
Set Director
Theme Advisor
Construction Superintendent
Prop Master
Treasurer
Lighting Technician
Flag Football Game: Annual Tradition
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The brainiac team that runs the Invesco Field Escalators
Man of the Match:
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
Josh McDaniels
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Tired Pony “I Finally Love this Town” and “Dead American Writers”
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
(Clip 40) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
Show Prep 79
Greetings and Salutations, people! -
Today on VSR –
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
OCEAN CITY, Md. (AP) -- Maryland State Police said a drunken 47-year-old Florida man wearing a diaper was arrested for shouting profanities while trick-or-treating. Police said Joseph David DiVanna of Sarasota, Fla., was arrested about 9:15 p.m. Sunday and charged with disorderly conduct.
Police said witnesses reported DiVanna cursed at adults and children in the Fox Chapel neighborhood of West Ocean City as he tried to get them to give him candy.
(Clip 40) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The Eye Doctor – Bright lights while dilated for pictures were painful.
-The Woman talking at full volume on her cell phone during the first five minutes of the play I attended last night.
Man of the Match:
3 Winners this week:
-Jerry “Larry” Fairish – Hooking me up with a sweet Avs long-sleeved T-shirt.
-My cousin Tawni – Hooking me up with a ticket for the Broncos-Jets game
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
-The Play that I went to last night. “Something Wicked this way comes” by Ray Bradbury. Ugh, it was so terrible.
-Ward M Vining – Dude who came up with the name for the Denver Broncos
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Cat Stevens – “Peace Train” (Clip 99)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Patron- Does this library have any information of King Malcolm the Tenth?
Reference Librarian – You mean the King from the play, Macbeth?
P – No I mean the civil rights leader.
RL – Oh, you mean Malcolm X.
P- Do you have a videotape of Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg address?
RL – No, we don’t.
P – You should get it. You have Bush on tape, and Lincoln was a greater President.
RL – Thanks for that historical analysis.
P- Do you have a good English translation of Hamlet?
RL – Yes, it’s by a man named William Shakespeare…very close to the original.
P – Who invented the time machine?
RL – H.G. Wells
P – I need information on the car BMW. How do you spell it?
RL – Go to the head of the class…you just did.
P – Why were so many Civil War battles fought in national parks?
RL – Trees provided great protection from bullets.
P – Do you have an audio tape of live dinosaur sounds?
RL – No, but you might want to try the zoo.
P – I need information on the woman named Rosetta Stone.
RL – Good luck. Let me know when you find it.
P- I need books on youth in Africa.
RL – You need books on young people in Africa?
P – No I need books about killing old people and vegetables.
RL – Oh, you have the wrong continent. That’s youth in Asia.
P – Is the correct term Swiss or Swedish?
RL – Yes.
P – I want to get the Gutenberg Bible on inter-library loan.
RL – That depends. Will you pay the shipping costs?
P – Do you have a copy of the Jerusalem newspaper on the day Jesus was born?
RL – No, but it might be on microfiche.
P- I need a book on impudence.
RL – Can you be more specific?
P – My husband can’t sustain an erection.
P – I need a cookbook for preparing dog food.
RL – You mean like kibbles and bits?
P – No for preparing a roast dachshund.
P – Is this library a government suppository?
RL – Sometimes it seems like it is.
P – I need a biography of a prehistoric man.
RL – How about Ralph the Hairy?
“The League” – 32 Teams made up of random and goofy team names for some unknown purpose
Pirates
Ninjas
Monkeys
Robots
Gorillas
Yetis
Dinosaurs
Moose
Nuts - Ed
Scary Kids - Ed
Dragons - Amiezin
Scorpions – Richie
Razor Blades - Richie
Geckos – HPG
The Blaster Girls
The Fightin' Feeny's
The Okeydokeys
The Jacuzzi Petes
The Swishy Arms
The One-Man-House-Bands
The Big Fans
Bandits – dawgpound81
Outlaws – dawgpound81
Octopi – The Whale
Gigawatts – The Whale
Turbines – The Whale
Scythes – The Whale
Bongs – The Whale
The Billy Goats – StreetDreamer83
The Trains – StreetDreamer83
The Bootleggers – StreetDreamer83
The Amigos – StreetDreamer83
(Bonaduce Sux – Aaron Young) Just a few random names that popped up:
Hillbillies
Afterburners
Sequoias/Redwoods
Jungle
Cattlemen
Pedophiles
Printmakers
Golden Cattle
Erections
Field Mice
Beastmasters
Tornadoes – The Ryan
California Chuck - Larry
Mississippi Mitch - Larry
Cardsfan:
Lemon Bars
Freudian Slips
Monte Cristos
Rapscallions
Neerdowellers
Layabouts
Loafers
Skivers
Spendthrifts
Rageaholics
Photo Dimers
Photo Bombers
Cow Pie Chuckers
Mad Hatters
Blue Quarks
The Diablos – The Ed
Mighty Turtles – The Ed
Dirty Sanchez – The Ed (Gross)
Anal Intruders – The Ed (Even more gross)
Weasels
-NSMaster56
South Carolina Traffic Violations (abbreviation SCTV)
C.H.U.D.S.
Kalamazoo Kangaroo's
Ypsilanti Yankees
Today on VSR –
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
OCEAN CITY, Md. (AP) -- Maryland State Police said a drunken 47-year-old Florida man wearing a diaper was arrested for shouting profanities while trick-or-treating. Police said Joseph David DiVanna of Sarasota, Fla., was arrested about 9:15 p.m. Sunday and charged with disorderly conduct.
Police said witnesses reported DiVanna cursed at adults and children in the Fox Chapel neighborhood of West Ocean City as he tried to get them to give him candy.
(Clip 40) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The Eye Doctor – Bright lights while dilated for pictures were painful.
-The Woman talking at full volume on her cell phone during the first five minutes of the play I attended last night.
Man of the Match:
3 Winners this week:
-Jerry “Larry” Fairish – Hooking me up with a sweet Avs long-sleeved T-shirt.
-My cousin Tawni – Hooking me up with a ticket for the Broncos-Jets game
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
-The Play that I went to last night. “Something Wicked this way comes” by Ray Bradbury. Ugh, it was so terrible.
-Ward M Vining – Dude who came up with the name for the Denver Broncos
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Cat Stevens – “Peace Train” (Clip 99)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Patron- Does this library have any information of King Malcolm the Tenth?
Reference Librarian – You mean the King from the play, Macbeth?
P – No I mean the civil rights leader.
RL – Oh, you mean Malcolm X.
P- Do you have a videotape of Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg address?
RL – No, we don’t.
P – You should get it. You have Bush on tape, and Lincoln was a greater President.
RL – Thanks for that historical analysis.
P- Do you have a good English translation of Hamlet?
RL – Yes, it’s by a man named William Shakespeare…very close to the original.
P – Who invented the time machine?
RL – H.G. Wells
P – I need information on the car BMW. How do you spell it?
RL – Go to the head of the class…you just did.
P – Why were so many Civil War battles fought in national parks?
RL – Trees provided great protection from bullets.
P – Do you have an audio tape of live dinosaur sounds?
RL – No, but you might want to try the zoo.
P – I need information on the woman named Rosetta Stone.
RL – Good luck. Let me know when you find it.
P- I need books on youth in Africa.
RL – You need books on young people in Africa?
P – No I need books about killing old people and vegetables.
RL – Oh, you have the wrong continent. That’s youth in Asia.
P – Is the correct term Swiss or Swedish?
RL – Yes.
P – I want to get the Gutenberg Bible on inter-library loan.
RL – That depends. Will you pay the shipping costs?
P – Do you have a copy of the Jerusalem newspaper on the day Jesus was born?
RL – No, but it might be on microfiche.
P- I need a book on impudence.
RL – Can you be more specific?
P – My husband can’t sustain an erection.
P – I need a cookbook for preparing dog food.
RL – You mean like kibbles and bits?
P – No for preparing a roast dachshund.
P – Is this library a government suppository?
RL – Sometimes it seems like it is.
P – I need a biography of a prehistoric man.
RL – How about Ralph the Hairy?
“The League” – 32 Teams made up of random and goofy team names for some unknown purpose
Pirates
Ninjas
Monkeys
Robots
Gorillas
Yetis
Dinosaurs
Moose
Nuts - Ed
Scary Kids - Ed
Dragons - Amiezin
Scorpions – Richie
Razor Blades - Richie
Geckos – HPG
The Blaster Girls
The Fightin' Feeny's
The Okeydokeys
The Jacuzzi Petes
The Swishy Arms
The One-Man-House-Bands
The Big Fans
Bandits – dawgpound81
Outlaws – dawgpound81
Octopi – The Whale
Gigawatts – The Whale
Turbines – The Whale
Scythes – The Whale
Bongs – The Whale
The Billy Goats – StreetDreamer83
The Trains – StreetDreamer83
The Bootleggers – StreetDreamer83
The Amigos – StreetDreamer83
(Bonaduce Sux – Aaron Young) Just a few random names that popped up:
Hillbillies
Afterburners
Sequoias/Redwoods
Jungle
Cattlemen
Pedophiles
Printmakers
Golden Cattle
Erections
Field Mice
Beastmasters
Tornadoes – The Ryan
California Chuck - Larry
Mississippi Mitch - Larry
Cardsfan:
Lemon Bars
Freudian Slips
Monte Cristos
Rapscallions
Neerdowellers
Layabouts
Loafers
Skivers
Spendthrifts
Rageaholics
Photo Dimers
Photo Bombers
Cow Pie Chuckers
Mad Hatters
Blue Quarks
The Diablos – The Ed
Mighty Turtles – The Ed
Dirty Sanchez – The Ed (Gross)
Anal Intruders – The Ed (Even more gross)
Weasels
-NSMaster56
South Carolina Traffic Violations (abbreviation SCTV)
C.H.U.D.S.
Kalamazoo Kangaroo's
Ypsilanti Yankees
Show Prep 78
Greetings and Salutations, people! It’s the show that’s of the monkeys, by the monkeys, and for the monkeys. THIS is Vertically Striped Radio. I am your slowly thinning host in Dad shoes, Craig Dodge and we are set for another thrilling episode, our 78th overall, of VSR.
Today on VSR – We will be unveiling our new tournament which will unfold over the next month or so, The Magnificent Seven list will have Face and I going head to head on deciding the 7 best Major League Baseball hats of all time, We’ll take a look at the smartest and dumbest cities in America, and hopefully we’ll actually get to the Week in Wankery this week. To join in the fun, you can call…
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
EARLY, Texas (AP) -- A message between old friends who hadn't been in touch for a while led to a drug arrest after the recipient of the "So do you smoke weed?" text turned out to be a police officer. Amanda Williams is a reserve officer with the Early Police Department. The Brownwood Bulletin reported Friday that Williams said she received the text message Tuesday asking about getting together to smoke some marijuana that the man had.
Early said she had not spoken to the man in some time and he did not know that she's a law officer.
Williams let police know that she agreed to meet the man at a park.
Early police and Texas troopers were on hand to detain the San Angelo man, who faces a marijuana possession charge.
REPUBLIC OF THE CONGO - A British pilot was among 20 people killed in a plane crash after a Crocodile went berserk aboard the flight.
The croc had been hidden in a passenger's sports bag but tore loose and ran amok, sparking panic.
A stampede of terrified passengers caused the small aircraft to lose balance and tip over in mid-air during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo.
A lone survivor from the Let 410 plane told the astonishing tale to investigators.
Ironically the crocodile also survived the crash but was later killed with a machete by rescuers sifting through the wreckage.
The plane was on a routine flight from the capital, Kinshasa, to the regional airport at Bandundu when the incident unfolded.
The plane smashed into an empty house just a few hundred meters from its destination.
"According to the inquiry report and the testimony of the only survivor, the crash happened because of a panic sparked by the escape of a crocodile hidden in a sports bag.
"One of the passengers had hidden the animal, which he planned to sell, in a big sports bag, from which the reptile escaped as the plane began its descent into Bandundu.
"The terrified air hostess hurried towards the cockpit, followed by the passengers." The plane was then sent off-balance "despite the desperate efforts of the pilot"
"The crocodile survived the crash before being cut up with a machete by people investigating the crash."
Taiwan –
Okay, so you’re a single woman living in Taiwan and facing intense financial pressure to get married and settle down. Only problem is that you don’t have a boyfriend or any prospects. So what do you do? Why, marry yourself, of course.
In an event which makes completely no sense what so ever, Taiwanese woman, Chen Wei-Yi has posed for a set of photos in a flowing white dress, enlisted a wedding planner and rented a banquet hall for a marriage celebration with 30 friends.
One small catch…there is no groom. Chen will marry herself.
Uninspired by the men she's met but facing social pressure to get married, the 30-year-old Taipei office worker will hold the reception next month in honor of just one person. Herself.
"Age thirty is a prime period for me. My work and experience are in good shape, but I haven't found a partner, so what can I do?" Chen said.
"It's not that I'm anti-marriage. I just hope that I can express a different idea within the bounds of a tradition."
Chen has now planned a $5,675 wedding for her to announce her devotion…to herself?
"I was just hoping that more people would love themselves," said Chen, who will go on a solo honeymoon to Australia.
Chen said her mother had insisted on a groom at first but later jumped aboard the solo marriage plan.
But as Chen cannot officially register a marriage to herself, if she finds a man later she will wed again. "If I had a steady boyfriend, I wouldn't do this," Chen said. "it would be offensive to him, anyway."
I’m not offended so much as confused. What is the statement you are making when you marry yourself? Why bother? And why spend almost six grand to make this statement that makes no sense?
Chen says she wants to make a different idea about marriage. To me it seems like the statement she is making sounds an awful lot like our friend T.O.
(Clip 88 - I love me some me!)
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
The Rent is too Damn High: Jimmy McMillan – Clip 90
-As a karate expert, I won’t talk bad about anyone up here.
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
No Name Show – Karaoke Jam tomorrow night
Great Moments in the history of Blogtalk Radio: Ed meets a special dog
Super Mario Bros. Tournament: Intro (Clip 70)
8 Seed – The Mario Accordion (Clip 78)
Vs
1 Seed – The Japanese Beatboxer Hikakin (Clip 71)
Dishonorable Mentions:
Florida Marlins – Seriously what is that?
Blue Jays – Your team is called the Blue Jays, yet your hat is Black?
Padres – Kahki color on navy blue…they just punted this hat.
Tampa Bay Devil Rays – All hats they ever wore before dropping the Devil from their name.
Honorable Mentions
Detroit Tigers – Very cool, but deduct a few points as it’s a little too Yankee like
Astros Retro– Orange hat with blue star and a white H (Tequila sunrise jerseys)
Indians – Too Racist, but very cool anyway
Oakland A’s – Yellow Bill, Green hat
Twins – TC hat
Mariners – Cool colors and I like the logo a lot
Dodgers – Brooklyn Specifically
Giants
Expos – Blue bill, white front, red back of cap
Nationals – Red with the cool stylized W
Tampa Bay Rays
Pirates – Just the basic black with yellow P, very cool
Magnificent Seven: Top 7 Baseball Caps
7. Orioles – (Cartoon Bird)
6. Mariners retro hats – Blue with a yellow M that looks like a trident
5. Brooklyn Dodgers
4. Red Sox Alt – With the socks logo
3. Mets – Blue with orange letters
2. Brewers – MB Ball in Glove hat. Blue and Yellow
1. Yankees
CNN revealed the census bureau’s findings of the cities with the highest and lowest percentage of people with college degrees
Smartest:
1. Washington DC
2. San Francisco
3. San Jose, CA
4. Raleigh, NC
5. Boston
6. Austin, TX
7. Minneapolis, MN
8. Denver
9. Seattle
10. New York
Dumbest:
1. Riverside, CA
2. Las Vegas
3. Memphis
4. Tampa
5. San Antonio, TX
6. Louisville, KY
7. New Orleans
8. Detroit
9. Orlando
10. Cleveland
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The Eye Doctor – Bright lights while dilated for pictures were painful.
Man of the Match:
2 Winners this week:
-My cousin Tawni – Hooking me up with a ticket for the Broncos-Jets game
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
-The ref in the Broncos-Jets game who threw the pass interference flag.
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Men Without Hats – Safety Dance (Clip 89)
Minus the Bear – My Time (Clip 91)
The name "Minus the Bear" comes from an in-joke among the band members, referring to the 70's television program, B. J. and the Bear. "A friend of the band had gone on a date,” explains singer-guitarist Jake Snider, "and one of us asked him afterwards how the date went. Our friend said, 'You know that TV show from the '70s B.J. and The Bear? It was like that minus the bear.' That’s the straight truth."
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Today on VSR – We will be unveiling our new tournament which will unfold over the next month or so, The Magnificent Seven list will have Face and I going head to head on deciding the 7 best Major League Baseball hats of all time, We’ll take a look at the smartest and dumbest cities in America, and hopefully we’ll actually get to the Week in Wankery this week. To join in the fun, you can call…
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
EARLY, Texas (AP) -- A message between old friends who hadn't been in touch for a while led to a drug arrest after the recipient of the "So do you smoke weed?" text turned out to be a police officer. Amanda Williams is a reserve officer with the Early Police Department. The Brownwood Bulletin reported Friday that Williams said she received the text message Tuesday asking about getting together to smoke some marijuana that the man had.
Early said she had not spoken to the man in some time and he did not know that she's a law officer.
Williams let police know that she agreed to meet the man at a park.
Early police and Texas troopers were on hand to detain the San Angelo man, who faces a marijuana possession charge.
REPUBLIC OF THE CONGO - A British pilot was among 20 people killed in a plane crash after a Crocodile went berserk aboard the flight.
The croc had been hidden in a passenger's sports bag but tore loose and ran amok, sparking panic.
A stampede of terrified passengers caused the small aircraft to lose balance and tip over in mid-air during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo.
A lone survivor from the Let 410 plane told the astonishing tale to investigators.
Ironically the crocodile also survived the crash but was later killed with a machete by rescuers sifting through the wreckage.
The plane was on a routine flight from the capital, Kinshasa, to the regional airport at Bandundu when the incident unfolded.
The plane smashed into an empty house just a few hundred meters from its destination.
"According to the inquiry report and the testimony of the only survivor, the crash happened because of a panic sparked by the escape of a crocodile hidden in a sports bag.
"One of the passengers had hidden the animal, which he planned to sell, in a big sports bag, from which the reptile escaped as the plane began its descent into Bandundu.
"The terrified air hostess hurried towards the cockpit, followed by the passengers." The plane was then sent off-balance "despite the desperate efforts of the pilot"
"The crocodile survived the crash before being cut up with a machete by people investigating the crash."
Taiwan –
Okay, so you’re a single woman living in Taiwan and facing intense financial pressure to get married and settle down. Only problem is that you don’t have a boyfriend or any prospects. So what do you do? Why, marry yourself, of course.
In an event which makes completely no sense what so ever, Taiwanese woman, Chen Wei-Yi has posed for a set of photos in a flowing white dress, enlisted a wedding planner and rented a banquet hall for a marriage celebration with 30 friends.
One small catch…there is no groom. Chen will marry herself.
Uninspired by the men she's met but facing social pressure to get married, the 30-year-old Taipei office worker will hold the reception next month in honor of just one person. Herself.
"Age thirty is a prime period for me. My work and experience are in good shape, but I haven't found a partner, so what can I do?" Chen said.
"It's not that I'm anti-marriage. I just hope that I can express a different idea within the bounds of a tradition."
Chen has now planned a $5,675 wedding for her to announce her devotion…to herself?
"I was just hoping that more people would love themselves," said Chen, who will go on a solo honeymoon to Australia.
Chen said her mother had insisted on a groom at first but later jumped aboard the solo marriage plan.
But as Chen cannot officially register a marriage to herself, if she finds a man later she will wed again. "If I had a steady boyfriend, I wouldn't do this," Chen said. "it would be offensive to him, anyway."
I’m not offended so much as confused. What is the statement you are making when you marry yourself? Why bother? And why spend almost six grand to make this statement that makes no sense?
Chen says she wants to make a different idea about marriage. To me it seems like the statement she is making sounds an awful lot like our friend T.O.
(Clip 88 - I love me some me!)
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
The Rent is too Damn High: Jimmy McMillan – Clip 90
-As a karate expert, I won’t talk bad about anyone up here.
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
No Name Show – Karaoke Jam tomorrow night
Great Moments in the history of Blogtalk Radio: Ed meets a special dog
Super Mario Bros. Tournament: Intro (Clip 70)
8 Seed – The Mario Accordion (Clip 78)
Vs
1 Seed – The Japanese Beatboxer Hikakin (Clip 71)
Dishonorable Mentions:
Florida Marlins – Seriously what is that?
Blue Jays – Your team is called the Blue Jays, yet your hat is Black?
Padres – Kahki color on navy blue…they just punted this hat.
Tampa Bay Devil Rays – All hats they ever wore before dropping the Devil from their name.
Honorable Mentions
Detroit Tigers – Very cool, but deduct a few points as it’s a little too Yankee like
Astros Retro– Orange hat with blue star and a white H (Tequila sunrise jerseys)
Indians – Too Racist, but very cool anyway
Oakland A’s – Yellow Bill, Green hat
Twins – TC hat
Mariners – Cool colors and I like the logo a lot
Dodgers – Brooklyn Specifically
Giants
Expos – Blue bill, white front, red back of cap
Nationals – Red with the cool stylized W
Tampa Bay Rays
Pirates – Just the basic black with yellow P, very cool
Magnificent Seven: Top 7 Baseball Caps
7. Orioles – (Cartoon Bird)
6. Mariners retro hats – Blue with a yellow M that looks like a trident
5. Brooklyn Dodgers
4. Red Sox Alt – With the socks logo
3. Mets – Blue with orange letters
2. Brewers – MB Ball in Glove hat. Blue and Yellow
1. Yankees
CNN revealed the census bureau’s findings of the cities with the highest and lowest percentage of people with college degrees
Smartest:
1. Washington DC
2. San Francisco
3. San Jose, CA
4. Raleigh, NC
5. Boston
6. Austin, TX
7. Minneapolis, MN
8. Denver
9. Seattle
10. New York
Dumbest:
1. Riverside, CA
2. Las Vegas
3. Memphis
4. Tampa
5. San Antonio, TX
6. Louisville, KY
7. New Orleans
8. Detroit
9. Orlando
10. Cleveland
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The Eye Doctor – Bright lights while dilated for pictures were painful.
Man of the Match:
2 Winners this week:
-My cousin Tawni – Hooking me up with a ticket for the Broncos-Jets game
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
-The ref in the Broncos-Jets game who threw the pass interference flag.
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Men Without Hats – Safety Dance (Clip 89)
Minus the Bear – My Time (Clip 91)
The name "Minus the Bear" comes from an in-joke among the band members, referring to the 70's television program, B. J. and the Bear. "A friend of the band had gone on a date,” explains singer-guitarist Jake Snider, "and one of us asked him afterwards how the date went. Our friend said, 'You know that TV show from the '70s B.J. and The Bear? It was like that minus the bear.' That’s the straight truth."
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Show Prep 77
Greetings and Salutations, people! - It’s the only place Face Ventura goes to for news…THIS is Vertically Striped Radio. I am you mustacheless host, Craig Dodge and after a week hiatus, once again, we’re back for another episode of Vertically Striped Radio.
Today on VSR – It’s time to put some wankers in their place, it’s time to weigh in on the Chilean Miners, it’s time to try and figure out what goes through the mind of Brett Favre, and most importantly…We’ve debated weighty issues before, but today we tackle one of the most serious topics of our day. The Magnificent 7 – Top 7 Breakfast Cereals on a very special VSR.
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
MIAMI (AP) -- A Georgia man was arrested at the Miami International Airport after he allegedly got on the baggage claim carousel and rode it into a secure area.
Authorities said 40-year-old Bradley Ray Bromelow, from Alpharetta, Ga., filmed people watching him as he moved on the conveyor belt Thursday. He faces a charge of trespassing into a secured area at the airport where signs are posted.
The Transportation Security Administration is reviewing the matter to determine if he will receive any fine.
Bromelow bonded out of jail early Friday morning.
ROCKFORD, Mich. (AP) -- A southwest Michigan couple shouldn't have too hard a time remembering their children's birthdays. After all, it's as easy as eight, nine, 10. Or more specifically, 8/8/8, 9/9/9 and 10/10/10.
Chad and Barbie Soper's three kids were born on those dates. The most recent, Cearra Nicole, was born this past Sunday.
Barbie Soper, 36, said she often is asked whether the couple manipulated the birth dates. The answer is no. Well, sort of.
The Sopers' first child, Chloe Corrin, arrived exactly on the couple's due date. But the second baby, Cameron Dane, was born with induced labor ahead of the Sept. 20 due date.
Cearra came early because Soper's physician wanted to prevent potential health complications. The original due date was Nov. 4.
"At some point, probably 20 weeks into the pregnancy, we decided it was better for her to deliver early," Dr. Andrew Van Slooten told The Grand Rapids Press. "There is this window we had. We definitely had the option to shoot for that (Oct. 10) day and did.
"But it wasn't like delivering her three weeks early just to hit that date."
Soper told the newspaper she's excited about her children's unique birth dates and that they "all get to share in it."
The big question, though, is: What are the chances of an 11/11/11 baby?
"Definitely no," Soper said. " ... We wanted three, and I'm glad we have that."
FRAMINGHAM, Mass. (AP) -- A Massachusetts man is facing an assault charge for allegedly hitting a town hall custodian on the back of the head with a roll of toilet paper because he was angry the cleaning man was whistling while he worked.
Framingham police say 55-year-old Allen Kerner was in town hall Wednesday using the bathroom. The custodian, who didn't realize anyone was in the restroom, whistled as he replenished toilet paper rolls.
The custodian told police he was in a stall when he was struck. Kerner yelled at him about whistling and fled. The custodian pursued him, and Kerner was apprehended by police outside.
Police tell The MetroWest Daily News that Kerner will be summoned to court to face an assault and battery charge.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
Chilean Miners: (Clip 94)
-Somehow Face had no idea until the miners were being lifted out
-Part of the reason I think it was so good is because of the video feed. The video was so good, it didn’t need the talking heads…thankfully the link I was watching that didn’t have talking heads
-The Chilean President – Dude deserves some serious kudos.
-Mario Sepulveda – The 2nd dude out, jumping into the crowd to lead the Chi Chi Chi cheer, pulling out rocks to hand to the rescue workers, hugging the Chilean president.
-Yonni Barrios - the dude who’s wife and mistress met at the top.
-Sadly, both women were cows.
-Apparently, he’s insane, as he wanted both of them to show up at the top.
-His wife didn’t show at the top.
-Face and I both were hoping that his wife would be there and that she’d slap
him.
-How good would it have been if both woman HAD been at the top.
People care about the weirdest crap:
Gap changed it’s logo for about ten minutes. Apparently public outrage was so huge that they changed it back within a few days.
Brett Favre –
-Pants on the Ground – (Clip 91) It was just over a year ago that Brett Favre broke this out after a victory over the Cowboys…I’m not sure this could be funnier in light of recent events in Favre’s life.
-Favre Voicemails – (Clip 93) Is this just a mega-douche, a completely un-self aware man, a sexual predator, a creep, or what? I can’t understand what happened here, and I can’t help but think we’re missing a LOT of story here.
-Favre and Mel Gibson – (Clip 92)
-Ole Miss chose a mascot: Rather than the epic win that would have been picking Admiral Ackbar, they chose a Bear. Weak.
Baseball Playoffs: Why are we celebrating each round of the playoffs with Champaign in the locker room? It’d be like if NFL teams popped the cork after winning in the divisional round or something. So dumb.
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
Magnificent Seven: Top 7 Breakfast Cereals:
Hot Cereal? I love my wife, but she just doesn’t understand. I told her we were going to do Top 7 Breakfast Cereals, and she started talking about Oatmeal and Cream of Wheat. For the record: Hot Cereal is not really cereal, and is ineligible for this list.
Malt-o-Meal – Not eligible for my list. A cereal has to have it’s own box. Homeless Cereal in a bag is just sad. At least 10% of a cereal’s value is being able to read the box.
I was amazed how many cereals used to have the word “Sugar” in their titles:
-Sugar Pops turned into Corn Pops
-Sugar Crisp turned into Golden Crisp
-Sugar Frosted Flakes dropped the Sugar and just became Frosted Flakes
-Sugar Smacks became Honey Smacks
Intriguing Cereals I came across during my research:
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Cereal
The California Raisins Cereal
Circus Fun Cereal
Crazy Cow
Dinersaurs Cereal
Donkey Kong Crunch
Donkey Kong Jr Cereal
E.T. Cereal
Flutie Flakes
Ghostbusters Cereal
Homer’s Cinnamon Donut Cereal
Ice Cream Cones Cereal
Kaboom! Cereal (With an exclamation point)
Monopoly Cereal
Mr. T Cereal
Nerds Cereal
Oreo O’s
Product 19 – Just a terrible name.
Smurf Berry Crunch
Urkel O’s
Dishonorable Mentions:
Wheaties – Tastes like you are eating straight grains of wheat – gross.
Grape Nuts – Cereal should not look and taste like gravel
Honorable Mentions:
Cupcake Pebbles
Rice Crispies
Fruit Loops
Kix
Frankenberry
The Magnificent 7:
7. Cinnamon Toast Crunch
6. Cracklin’ Oat Bran
5. Apple Jacks
4. Raisin Bran
3. Frosted Flakes
2. Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries
1. Boo Berry
CNN revealed the census bureau’s findings of the highest and lowest percentage of people with college degrees
Smartest:
1. Washington DC
2. San Francisco
3. San Jose, CA
4. Raleigh, NC
5. Boston
6. Austin, TX
7. Minneapolis, MN
8. Denver
9. Seattle
10. New York
Dumbest:
1. Riverside, CA
2. Las Vegas
3. Memphis
4. Tampa
5. San Antonio, TX
6. Louisville, KY
7. New Orleans
8. Detroit
9. Orlando
10. Cleveland
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The Eye Doctor – Bright lights while dilated for pictures were painful.
-The Woman talking at full volume on her cell phone during the first five minutes of the play I attended last night.
Man of the Match:
3 Winners this week:
-Jerry “Larry” Fairish – Hooking me up with a sweet Avs long-sleeved T-shirt.
-My cousin Tawni – Hooking me up with a ticket for the Broncos-Jets game
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
-The Play that I went to last night. “Something Wicked this way comes” by Ray Bradbury. Ugh, it was so terrible.
-Ward M Vining – Dude who came up with the name for the Denver Broncos
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Mute Math – “Stall Out” (Clip 88)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
(Clip 40) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
Patron- Does this library have any information of King Malcolm the Tenth?
Reference Librarian – You mean the King from the play, Macbeth?
P – No I mean the civil rights leader.
RL – Oh, you mean Malcolm X.
P- Do you have a videotape of Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg address?
RL – No, we don’t.
P – You should get it. You have Bush on tape, and Lincoln was a greater President.
RL – Thanks for that historical analysis.
P- Do you have a good English translation of Hamlet?
RL – Yes, it’s by a man named William Shakespeare…very close to the original.
P – Who invented the time machine?
RL – H.G. Wells
P – I need information on the car BMW. How do you spell it?
RL – Go to the head of the class…you just did.
P – Why were so many Civil War battles fought in national parks?
RL – Trees provided great protection from bullets.
P – Do you have an audio tape of live dinosaur sounds?
RL – No, but you might want to try the zoo.
P – I need information on the woman named Rosetta Stone.
RL – Good luck. Let me know when you find it.
P- I need books on youth in Africa.
RL – You need books on young people in Africa?
P – No I need books about killing old people and vegetables.
RL – Oh, you have the wrong continent. That’s youth in Asia.
P – Is the correct term Swiss or Swedish?
RL – Yes.
P – I want to get the Gutenberg Bible on inter-library loan.
RL – That depends. Will you pay the shipping costs?
P – Do you have a copy of the Jerusalem newspaper on the day Jesus was born?
RL – No, but it might be on microfiche.
P- I need a book on impudence.
RL – Can you be more specific?
P – My husband can’t sustain an erection.
P – I need a cookbook for preparing dog food.
RL – You mean like kibbles and bits?
P – No for preparing a roast dachshund.
P – Is this library a government suppository?
RL – Sometimes it seems like it is.
P – I need a biography of a prehistoric man.
RL – How about Ralph the Hairy?
“The League” – 32 Teams made up of random and goofy team names for some unknown purpose
Pirates
Ninjas
Monkeys
Robots
Gorillas
Yetis
Dinosaurs
Moose
Nuts - Ed
Scary Kids - Ed
Dragons - Amiezin
Scorpions – Richie
Razor Blades - Richie
Geckos – HPG
The Blaster Girls
The Fightin' Feeny's
The Okeydokeys
The Jacuzzi Petes
The Swishy Arms
The One-Man-House-Bands
The Big Fans
Bandits – dawgpound81
Outlaws – dawgpound81
Octopi – The Whale
Gigawatts – The Whale
Turbines – The Whale
Scythes – The Whale
Bongs – The Whale
The Billy Goats – StreetDreamer83
The Trains – StreetDreamer83
The Bootleggers – StreetDreamer83
The Amigos – StreetDreamer83
(Bonaduce Sux – Aaron Young) Just a few random names that popped up:
Hillbillies
Afterburners
Sequoias/Redwoods
Jungle
Cattlemen
Pedophiles
Printmakers
Golden Cattle
Erections
Field Mice
Beastmasters
Tornadoes – The Ryan
California Chuck - Larry
Mississippi Mitch - Larry
Cardsfan:
Lemon Bars
Freudian Slips
Monte Cristos
Rapscallions
Neerdowellers
Layabouts
Loafers
Skivers
Spendthrifts
Rageaholics
Photo Dimers
Photo Bombers
Cow Pie Chuckers
Mad Hatters
Blue Quarks
The Diablos – The Ed
Mighty Turtles – The Ed
Dirty Sanchez – The Ed (Gross)
Anal Intruders – The Ed (Even more gross)
Weasels
-NSMaster56
South Carolina Traffic Violations (abbreviation SCTV)
C.H.U.D.S.
Kalamazoo Kangaroo's
Ypsilanti Yankees
Today on VSR – It’s time to put some wankers in their place, it’s time to weigh in on the Chilean Miners, it’s time to try and figure out what goes through the mind of Brett Favre, and most importantly…We’ve debated weighty issues before, but today we tackle one of the most serious topics of our day. The Magnificent 7 – Top 7 Breakfast Cereals on a very special VSR.
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
MIAMI (AP) -- A Georgia man was arrested at the Miami International Airport after he allegedly got on the baggage claim carousel and rode it into a secure area.
Authorities said 40-year-old Bradley Ray Bromelow, from Alpharetta, Ga., filmed people watching him as he moved on the conveyor belt Thursday. He faces a charge of trespassing into a secured area at the airport where signs are posted.
The Transportation Security Administration is reviewing the matter to determine if he will receive any fine.
Bromelow bonded out of jail early Friday morning.
ROCKFORD, Mich. (AP) -- A southwest Michigan couple shouldn't have too hard a time remembering their children's birthdays. After all, it's as easy as eight, nine, 10. Or more specifically, 8/8/8, 9/9/9 and 10/10/10.
Chad and Barbie Soper's three kids were born on those dates. The most recent, Cearra Nicole, was born this past Sunday.
Barbie Soper, 36, said she often is asked whether the couple manipulated the birth dates. The answer is no. Well, sort of.
The Sopers' first child, Chloe Corrin, arrived exactly on the couple's due date. But the second baby, Cameron Dane, was born with induced labor ahead of the Sept. 20 due date.
Cearra came early because Soper's physician wanted to prevent potential health complications. The original due date was Nov. 4.
"At some point, probably 20 weeks into the pregnancy, we decided it was better for her to deliver early," Dr. Andrew Van Slooten told The Grand Rapids Press. "There is this window we had. We definitely had the option to shoot for that (Oct. 10) day and did.
"But it wasn't like delivering her three weeks early just to hit that date."
Soper told the newspaper she's excited about her children's unique birth dates and that they "all get to share in it."
The big question, though, is: What are the chances of an 11/11/11 baby?
"Definitely no," Soper said. " ... We wanted three, and I'm glad we have that."
FRAMINGHAM, Mass. (AP) -- A Massachusetts man is facing an assault charge for allegedly hitting a town hall custodian on the back of the head with a roll of toilet paper because he was angry the cleaning man was whistling while he worked.
Framingham police say 55-year-old Allen Kerner was in town hall Wednesday using the bathroom. The custodian, who didn't realize anyone was in the restroom, whistled as he replenished toilet paper rolls.
The custodian told police he was in a stall when he was struck. Kerner yelled at him about whistling and fled. The custodian pursued him, and Kerner was apprehended by police outside.
Police tell The MetroWest Daily News that Kerner will be summoned to court to face an assault and battery charge.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
Chilean Miners: (Clip 94)
-Somehow Face had no idea until the miners were being lifted out
-Part of the reason I think it was so good is because of the video feed. The video was so good, it didn’t need the talking heads…thankfully the link I was watching that didn’t have talking heads
-The Chilean President – Dude deserves some serious kudos.
-Mario Sepulveda – The 2nd dude out, jumping into the crowd to lead the Chi Chi Chi cheer, pulling out rocks to hand to the rescue workers, hugging the Chilean president.
-Yonni Barrios - the dude who’s wife and mistress met at the top.
-Sadly, both women were cows.
-Apparently, he’s insane, as he wanted both of them to show up at the top.
-His wife didn’t show at the top.
-Face and I both were hoping that his wife would be there and that she’d slap
him.
-How good would it have been if both woman HAD been at the top.
People care about the weirdest crap:
Gap changed it’s logo for about ten minutes. Apparently public outrage was so huge that they changed it back within a few days.
Brett Favre –
-Pants on the Ground – (Clip 91) It was just over a year ago that Brett Favre broke this out after a victory over the Cowboys…I’m not sure this could be funnier in light of recent events in Favre’s life.
-Favre Voicemails – (Clip 93) Is this just a mega-douche, a completely un-self aware man, a sexual predator, a creep, or what? I can’t understand what happened here, and I can’t help but think we’re missing a LOT of story here.
-Favre and Mel Gibson – (Clip 92)
-Ole Miss chose a mascot: Rather than the epic win that would have been picking Admiral Ackbar, they chose a Bear. Weak.
Baseball Playoffs: Why are we celebrating each round of the playoffs with Champaign in the locker room? It’d be like if NFL teams popped the cork after winning in the divisional round or something. So dumb.
Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.
Magnificent Seven: Top 7 Breakfast Cereals:
Hot Cereal? I love my wife, but she just doesn’t understand. I told her we were going to do Top 7 Breakfast Cereals, and she started talking about Oatmeal and Cream of Wheat. For the record: Hot Cereal is not really cereal, and is ineligible for this list.
Malt-o-Meal – Not eligible for my list. A cereal has to have it’s own box. Homeless Cereal in a bag is just sad. At least 10% of a cereal’s value is being able to read the box.
I was amazed how many cereals used to have the word “Sugar” in their titles:
-Sugar Pops turned into Corn Pops
-Sugar Crisp turned into Golden Crisp
-Sugar Frosted Flakes dropped the Sugar and just became Frosted Flakes
-Sugar Smacks became Honey Smacks
Intriguing Cereals I came across during my research:
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Cereal
The California Raisins Cereal
Circus Fun Cereal
Crazy Cow
Dinersaurs Cereal
Donkey Kong Crunch
Donkey Kong Jr Cereal
E.T. Cereal
Flutie Flakes
Ghostbusters Cereal
Homer’s Cinnamon Donut Cereal
Ice Cream Cones Cereal
Kaboom! Cereal (With an exclamation point)
Monopoly Cereal
Mr. T Cereal
Nerds Cereal
Oreo O’s
Product 19 – Just a terrible name.
Smurf Berry Crunch
Urkel O’s
Dishonorable Mentions:
Wheaties – Tastes like you are eating straight grains of wheat – gross.
Grape Nuts – Cereal should not look and taste like gravel
Honorable Mentions:
Cupcake Pebbles
Rice Crispies
Fruit Loops
Kix
Frankenberry
The Magnificent 7:
7. Cinnamon Toast Crunch
6. Cracklin’ Oat Bran
5. Apple Jacks
4. Raisin Bran
3. Frosted Flakes
2. Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries
1. Boo Berry
CNN revealed the census bureau’s findings of the highest and lowest percentage of people with college degrees
Smartest:
1. Washington DC
2. San Francisco
3. San Jose, CA
4. Raleigh, NC
5. Boston
6. Austin, TX
7. Minneapolis, MN
8. Denver
9. Seattle
10. New York
Dumbest:
1. Riverside, CA
2. Las Vegas
3. Memphis
4. Tampa
5. San Antonio, TX
6. Louisville, KY
7. New Orleans
8. Detroit
9. Orlando
10. Cleveland
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-The Eye Doctor – Bright lights while dilated for pictures were painful.
-The Woman talking at full volume on her cell phone during the first five minutes of the play I attended last night.
Man of the Match:
3 Winners this week:
-Jerry “Larry” Fairish – Hooking me up with a sweet Avs long-sleeved T-shirt.
-My cousin Tawni – Hooking me up with a ticket for the Broncos-Jets game
-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.
Red Card
-The Play that I went to last night. “Something Wicked this way comes” by Ray Bradbury. Ugh, it was so terrible.
-Ward M Vining – Dude who came up with the name for the Denver Broncos
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Mute Math – “Stall Out” (Clip 88)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
(Clip 40) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
Patron- Does this library have any information of King Malcolm the Tenth?
Reference Librarian – You mean the King from the play, Macbeth?
P – No I mean the civil rights leader.
RL – Oh, you mean Malcolm X.
P- Do you have a videotape of Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg address?
RL – No, we don’t.
P – You should get it. You have Bush on tape, and Lincoln was a greater President.
RL – Thanks for that historical analysis.
P- Do you have a good English translation of Hamlet?
RL – Yes, it’s by a man named William Shakespeare…very close to the original.
P – Who invented the time machine?
RL – H.G. Wells
P – I need information on the car BMW. How do you spell it?
RL – Go to the head of the class…you just did.
P – Why were so many Civil War battles fought in national parks?
RL – Trees provided great protection from bullets.
P – Do you have an audio tape of live dinosaur sounds?
RL – No, but you might want to try the zoo.
P – I need information on the woman named Rosetta Stone.
RL – Good luck. Let me know when you find it.
P- I need books on youth in Africa.
RL – You need books on young people in Africa?
P – No I need books about killing old people and vegetables.
RL – Oh, you have the wrong continent. That’s youth in Asia.
P – Is the correct term Swiss or Swedish?
RL – Yes.
P – I want to get the Gutenberg Bible on inter-library loan.
RL – That depends. Will you pay the shipping costs?
P – Do you have a copy of the Jerusalem newspaper on the day Jesus was born?
RL – No, but it might be on microfiche.
P- I need a book on impudence.
RL – Can you be more specific?
P – My husband can’t sustain an erection.
P – I need a cookbook for preparing dog food.
RL – You mean like kibbles and bits?
P – No for preparing a roast dachshund.
P – Is this library a government suppository?
RL – Sometimes it seems like it is.
P – I need a biography of a prehistoric man.
RL – How about Ralph the Hairy?
“The League” – 32 Teams made up of random and goofy team names for some unknown purpose
Pirates
Ninjas
Monkeys
Robots
Gorillas
Yetis
Dinosaurs
Moose
Nuts - Ed
Scary Kids - Ed
Dragons - Amiezin
Scorpions – Richie
Razor Blades - Richie
Geckos – HPG
The Blaster Girls
The Fightin' Feeny's
The Okeydokeys
The Jacuzzi Petes
The Swishy Arms
The One-Man-House-Bands
The Big Fans
Bandits – dawgpound81
Outlaws – dawgpound81
Octopi – The Whale
Gigawatts – The Whale
Turbines – The Whale
Scythes – The Whale
Bongs – The Whale
The Billy Goats – StreetDreamer83
The Trains – StreetDreamer83
The Bootleggers – StreetDreamer83
The Amigos – StreetDreamer83
(Bonaduce Sux – Aaron Young) Just a few random names that popped up:
Hillbillies
Afterburners
Sequoias/Redwoods
Jungle
Cattlemen
Pedophiles
Printmakers
Golden Cattle
Erections
Field Mice
Beastmasters
Tornadoes – The Ryan
California Chuck - Larry
Mississippi Mitch - Larry
Cardsfan:
Lemon Bars
Freudian Slips
Monte Cristos
Rapscallions
Neerdowellers
Layabouts
Loafers
Skivers
Spendthrifts
Rageaholics
Photo Dimers
Photo Bombers
Cow Pie Chuckers
Mad Hatters
Blue Quarks
The Diablos – The Ed
Mighty Turtles – The Ed
Dirty Sanchez – The Ed (Gross)
Anal Intruders – The Ed (Even more gross)
Weasels
-NSMaster56
South Carolina Traffic Violations (abbreviation SCTV)
C.H.U.D.S.
Kalamazoo Kangaroo's
Ypsilanti Yankees
Show Prep 76
Greetings and Salutations, people! -
Today on VSR – We will begin work on creating “The League”, The major theme of the day is “Being Surprised by Music” so we will discuss a few situations where music might come as a complete surprise, I have a Power Rankings to unveil, and of course…we have some news as well. To jump into the proceedings, you can call…
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
WATSONVILLE, California - A man was arrested Wednesday afternoon after he walked into a Watsonville bank, said he had a bomb in his backpack and demanded $2,000 so he could pay his friend's rent, police reported. But when Mark Smith, 59, allegedly tried to rob the bank, the bank manager suggested that what he actually needed to do was take out a loan, and she had him sit down while she said she was going to retrieve the loan paperwork. Instead, she called 911, according to the Assistant District Attorney.
"Quick-thinking staff kept the man calm and distracted him with some paperwork until we arrived," said Lt. Darren Thompson of the Watsonville Police.
Police arrested Smith, a Watsonville resident, on suspicion of attempted robbery, making criminal threats and making a false bomb report, according to police.
Smith didn't have a bomb or any other weapons and no injuries were reported…Smith now faces the prospect of doing some jail time, although not all is lost as he is now halfway through the paperwork for his mortgage application.
WATERBURY, Connecticut - Call it the case of the flying hippo. Connecticut police said a man stole an American flag from Waterbury's Town Plot Park and hoisted a stuffed hippopotamus toy in its place. Twenty-three-year-old Jeffrey Kovic, of Waterbury, was arrested and was being held in lieu of $100,000 bail on misdemeanor larceny, criminal mischief and conspiracy charges.
He is facing charges, but I think it would all be worth it to be able to be able to say, “I pledge allegiance to the Hippopotamus”
TONGEREN, Belgium
(Reuters) - A Belgian woman went on trial on Friday charged with the murder of a fellow skydiver and love rival who plunged to her death after her parachute was sabotaged.
Els Van Doren, 38, smashed into a back garden from some 4,500 meters (14,764 feet) in November 2006 because both her main and reserve chutes failed to open after she jumped from a plane with defendant, Els Clottemans, 26, their lover, Dutchman Marcel Somers, and another man.
Clottemans, an elementary school teacher, is accused of cutting through key parts of the parachute system the weekend before the jump to remove her rival and have Somers for herself.
Lawyers for Clottemans issued a statement expressing their firm belief that their client did not kill a woman she regarded as a friend.
Interest in the case was so great that a live television feed was laid in an overflow room in the courthouse.
Prosecuters said Clottemans was an experienced skydiver and would have known how to sabotage a parachute and that she had the opportunity to do so when she and Van Doren were with Somers a week before the fatal drop.
Van Doren's pilot chute, a small parachute deployed to pull the main chute out, was detached from that, while a line that should have connected the reserve chute to the harness was free.
Experts ruled that both items had been deliberately cut and that it could been done in just 30 seconds with scissors.
Psychiatric experts have identified signs that Clottemans suffers from a psychopathic disorder.
Clottemans' lawyers say that is no hard evidence against their client, whom they say investigators intimidated and belittled in hours of questioning.
The trial, which is likely to feature video of the fall shot from a camera on Van Doren's helmet, is expected to last four weeks…Although, I expect it to last longer due to the “gravity” of the situation.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
“The League” – 32 Teams made up of random and goofy team names for some unknown purpose
Pirates
Ninjas
Monkeys
Robots
Gorillas
Yetis
Musical Mash-up – Van Halen “Jump” and John Lennon “Imagine” (Clip 95) – One of the main themes of today’s show is being surprised by music. This particular thing that I’m going to play is just a matter of being surprised by how well some things can mix that you would never really expect would mix well. Kind of like this old commercial..(Clip 97 – Reeces Peanut Butter Cup commercial)
Power Rankings
Also receiving votes:
Netflix (Play clips from King of Kong)
10. Carmelo Anthony trade rumors
9. Getting paid for an advertisement – 25 bucks for posting a link to nfl.pointspread.com/odds
8. Red Dwarf – BBC Sitcom that ran from 1988 to 1997. Rather than cursing, they came up with their own curse word… “Smeg”
7. Dan Lebatard – Sooey rule (Clip 94)
6. Mike Vick – Got announced as the starter for the Eagles
5. The Tooth Moose – Much cooler than the tooth fairy.
4. The Random Dude in front of me at during my commute on Friday morning: He had a giant Pentagram bumper sticker, two even larger Broncos decals on his window, and a Blue Cross Blue Shield Health insurance sticker on his tailgate. Clearly, this dude has a lot of irons in the fire.
3. Bizzaro World in the NFL – I guess we shouldn’t be surprised, as this kind of weirdness happens each year in the NFL, but the Chiefs, Bucs, and Bears are undefeated and the Cowboys, Vikings, and 49ers are winless.
2. Kenyon Martin’s Tattoo – Kenyon thought it meant “Warrior.” However Yao Ming told him that what it actually meant was “Noodles”
1. NFL Red Zone
Musical Road in Lancaster, California (Clip 96) - The Civic Musical Road was built on Avenue K in Lancaster, California, on September 5, 2008. Covering a quarter-mile stretch of road, the Musical Road used grooves cut into the asphalt to replicate part of the Finale of the William Tell Overture. It was paved over on 23 September after nearby residents complained to the city council about noise levels.
After further complaints from city residents about its removal, work began to re-create it on 15 October 2008 on Avenue G between 30th Street West and 40th Street West — this time, two miles away from any residence. This road is named after the Honda Civic. It opened two days later. The new section on Avenue G is only in the far left lane of the westbound side of the road.
Washington Metro Story – Violin in the Subway
On January 12th, 2007 Virtuoso violinist Joshua Bell in association with the Washington Post decided to do a little social experiment. Bell, a renowned musician who a mere three days prior to the experiment had packed out Boston’s Symphony Hall where merely average seats were going for one hundred dollars a piece, was going to play for free…In the subway.
The event had been described to him as a test of whether, in an unexpected context, ordinary people would recognize genius. So, on a cool January day, a rather unspectacular looking man in a Washington Nationals cap walked in to the L’Enphant Metro Station in Washington DC, and put on a world class performance for a mostly non-interested crowd.
The artist was world class, and the instrument was one of the greatest ever made. In fact, Bell rode a taxi cab to the station from his hotel…despite the fact that it was only 3 blocks, because he didn’t want his instrument to risk being damaged by an accident or by the cool weather, and when you hear a little more about the violin, you will understand why.
Bell’s violin was handcrafted in 1713 by Antonio Stradivari during the Italian master's "golden period," toward the end of his career, when he had access to the finest spruce, maple and willow, and when his technique had been refined to perfection. Bell bought it a few years ago. The price tag was reported to be around $3.5 million.
When the violinist shows his Strad to people, he holds the instrument gingerly by its neck, resting it on a knee. "He made this to perfect thickness at all parts," Bell says, pivoting it. "If you shaved off a millimeter of wood at any point, it would totally imbalance the sound." No violins sound as wonderful as Strads from the 1710s, even today.
Bell played some classic and stirring pieces for nearly 45 minutes in the L’enfant Station of the Washington DC Metro Rail. Before the experiment began, the organizers worried what would happen if Bell were to be mobbed by admirers. Turns out, that was not even close to an issue. In the three-quarters of an hour that Joshua Bell played, only seven people stopped what they were doing to hang around and take in the performance for longer than one minute. Twenty-seven people gave money, most of them on the run -- for a total of $32 and some change. 1,070 people who hurried by, oblivious, many only three feet away, few even turning to look.
An interesting observation can be made on the video. Despite the fact that the majority of people walking by almost completely ignored the talented musician, EVERY kid that passed by strained to look and had to be dragged along by the adult that they were travelling with. Almost as if kids are born with an innate ability to appreciate beauty and are still endowed with enough innocence to not realize they should be ignoring the music.
Of the seven people who stopped longer than a minute to listen, only one person recognized him. A woman named Stacey who had seen him a few weeks earlier at a concert. She arrived when there were only a few minutes remaining in the performance. She gets a giant grin on her face and plants herself 10 feet from Bell for the rest of the time Bell plays. She then introduces herself to him at the end of his set, and tosses a 20 dollar bill into Bell’s guitar case. One other person, it turns out a man who had studied violin in his younger days, listens intently and humbly tosses in a 5 at the end of the music. In an interview done by the Washington Post with the man who was watching, this man didn’t know who Bell was, but recognized the genius. Five other people stood for at least a minute listening, but other than these few people, most everyone just walked by ignoring the brilliance.
Which begs the questions:
IF A GREAT MUSICIAN PLAYS GREAT MUSIC BUT NO ONE HEARS . . . WAS HE REALLY ANY GOOD?
If we as a culture wasn’t so wrapped up in ourselves, would we have more time to recognize brilliance?
Clearly context matters, but is it the context that makes brilliance, or is the context the thing that makes brilliance noticeable?
If this were in another country besides the United States, would people have taken the time to sit and notice?
Are we in so big of a hurry in America that we are missing out on untold beauty?
Are you looking for amazing things in unexpected places?
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Anberlin – “Like a Rolling Stone” from the Album “Lost Songs” (Clip 93)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
Man of the Match:
Red Card
(Clip 92) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
Patron- Does this library have any information of King Malcolm the Tenth?
Reference Librarian – You mean the King from the play, Macbeth?
P – No I mean the civil rights leader.
RL – Oh, you mean Malcolm X.
P- Do you have a videotape of Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg address?
RL – No, we don’t.
P – You should get it. You have Bush on tape, and Lincoln was a greater President.
RL – Thanks for that historical analysis.
P- Do you have a good English translation of Hamlet?
RL – Yes, it’s by a man named William Shakespeare…very close to the original.
P – Who invented the time machine?
RL – H.G. Wells
P – I need information on the car BMW. How do you spell it?
RL – Go to the head of the class…you just did.
P – Why were so many Civil War battles fought in national parks?
RL – Trees provided great protection from bullets.
P – Do you have an audio tape of live dinosaur sounds?
RL – No, but you might want to try the zoo.
P – I need information on the woman named Rosetta Stone.
RL – Good luck. Let me know when you find it.
P- I need books on youth in Africa.
RL – You need books on young people in Africa?
P – No I need books about killing old people and vegetables.
RL – Oh, you have the wrong continent. That’s youth in Asia.
P – Is the correct term Swiss or Swedish?
RL – Yes.
P – I want to get the Gutenberg Bible on inter-library loan.
RL – That depends. Will you pay the shipping costs?
P – Do you have a copy of the Jerusalem newspaper on the day Jesus was born?
RL – No, but it might be on microfiche.
P- I need a book on impudence.
RL – Can you be more specific?
P – My husband can’t sustain an erection.
P – I need a cookbook for preparing dog food.
RL – You mean like kibbles and bits?
P – No for preparing a roast dachshund.
P – Is this library a government suppository?
RL – Sometimes it seems like it is.
P – I need a biography of a prehistoric man.
RL – How about Ralph the Hairy?
Today on VSR – We will begin work on creating “The League”, The major theme of the day is “Being Surprised by Music” so we will discuss a few situations where music might come as a complete surprise, I have a Power Rankings to unveil, and of course…we have some news as well. To jump into the proceedings, you can call…
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
WATSONVILLE, California - A man was arrested Wednesday afternoon after he walked into a Watsonville bank, said he had a bomb in his backpack and demanded $2,000 so he could pay his friend's rent, police reported. But when Mark Smith, 59, allegedly tried to rob the bank, the bank manager suggested that what he actually needed to do was take out a loan, and she had him sit down while she said she was going to retrieve the loan paperwork. Instead, she called 911, according to the Assistant District Attorney.
"Quick-thinking staff kept the man calm and distracted him with some paperwork until we arrived," said Lt. Darren Thompson of the Watsonville Police.
Police arrested Smith, a Watsonville resident, on suspicion of attempted robbery, making criminal threats and making a false bomb report, according to police.
Smith didn't have a bomb or any other weapons and no injuries were reported…Smith now faces the prospect of doing some jail time, although not all is lost as he is now halfway through the paperwork for his mortgage application.
WATERBURY, Connecticut - Call it the case of the flying hippo. Connecticut police said a man stole an American flag from Waterbury's Town Plot Park and hoisted a stuffed hippopotamus toy in its place. Twenty-three-year-old Jeffrey Kovic, of Waterbury, was arrested and was being held in lieu of $100,000 bail on misdemeanor larceny, criminal mischief and conspiracy charges.
He is facing charges, but I think it would all be worth it to be able to be able to say, “I pledge allegiance to the Hippopotamus”
TONGEREN, Belgium
(Reuters) - A Belgian woman went on trial on Friday charged with the murder of a fellow skydiver and love rival who plunged to her death after her parachute was sabotaged.
Els Van Doren, 38, smashed into a back garden from some 4,500 meters (14,764 feet) in November 2006 because both her main and reserve chutes failed to open after she jumped from a plane with defendant, Els Clottemans, 26, their lover, Dutchman Marcel Somers, and another man.
Clottemans, an elementary school teacher, is accused of cutting through key parts of the parachute system the weekend before the jump to remove her rival and have Somers for herself.
Lawyers for Clottemans issued a statement expressing their firm belief that their client did not kill a woman she regarded as a friend.
Interest in the case was so great that a live television feed was laid in an overflow room in the courthouse.
Prosecuters said Clottemans was an experienced skydiver and would have known how to sabotage a parachute and that she had the opportunity to do so when she and Van Doren were with Somers a week before the fatal drop.
Van Doren's pilot chute, a small parachute deployed to pull the main chute out, was detached from that, while a line that should have connected the reserve chute to the harness was free.
Experts ruled that both items had been deliberately cut and that it could been done in just 30 seconds with scissors.
Psychiatric experts have identified signs that Clottemans suffers from a psychopathic disorder.
Clottemans' lawyers say that is no hard evidence against their client, whom they say investigators intimidated and belittled in hours of questioning.
The trial, which is likely to feature video of the fall shot from a camera on Van Doren's helmet, is expected to last four weeks…Although, I expect it to last longer due to the “gravity” of the situation.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face:
“The League” – 32 Teams made up of random and goofy team names for some unknown purpose
Pirates
Ninjas
Monkeys
Robots
Gorillas
Yetis
Musical Mash-up – Van Halen “Jump” and John Lennon “Imagine” (Clip 95) – One of the main themes of today’s show is being surprised by music. This particular thing that I’m going to play is just a matter of being surprised by how well some things can mix that you would never really expect would mix well. Kind of like this old commercial..(Clip 97 – Reeces Peanut Butter Cup commercial)
Power Rankings
Also receiving votes:
Netflix (Play clips from King of Kong)
10. Carmelo Anthony trade rumors
9. Getting paid for an advertisement – 25 bucks for posting a link to nfl.pointspread.com/odds
8. Red Dwarf – BBC Sitcom that ran from 1988 to 1997. Rather than cursing, they came up with their own curse word… “Smeg”
7. Dan Lebatard – Sooey rule (Clip 94)
6. Mike Vick – Got announced as the starter for the Eagles
5. The Tooth Moose – Much cooler than the tooth fairy.
4. The Random Dude in front of me at during my commute on Friday morning: He had a giant Pentagram bumper sticker, two even larger Broncos decals on his window, and a Blue Cross Blue Shield Health insurance sticker on his tailgate. Clearly, this dude has a lot of irons in the fire.
3. Bizzaro World in the NFL – I guess we shouldn’t be surprised, as this kind of weirdness happens each year in the NFL, but the Chiefs, Bucs, and Bears are undefeated and the Cowboys, Vikings, and 49ers are winless.
2. Kenyon Martin’s Tattoo – Kenyon thought it meant “Warrior.” However Yao Ming told him that what it actually meant was “Noodles”
1. NFL Red Zone
Musical Road in Lancaster, California (Clip 96) - The Civic Musical Road was built on Avenue K in Lancaster, California, on September 5, 2008. Covering a quarter-mile stretch of road, the Musical Road used grooves cut into the asphalt to replicate part of the Finale of the William Tell Overture. It was paved over on 23 September after nearby residents complained to the city council about noise levels.
After further complaints from city residents about its removal, work began to re-create it on 15 October 2008 on Avenue G between 30th Street West and 40th Street West — this time, two miles away from any residence. This road is named after the Honda Civic. It opened two days later. The new section on Avenue G is only in the far left lane of the westbound side of the road.
Washington Metro Story – Violin in the Subway
On January 12th, 2007 Virtuoso violinist Joshua Bell in association with the Washington Post decided to do a little social experiment. Bell, a renowned musician who a mere three days prior to the experiment had packed out Boston’s Symphony Hall where merely average seats were going for one hundred dollars a piece, was going to play for free…In the subway.
The event had been described to him as a test of whether, in an unexpected context, ordinary people would recognize genius. So, on a cool January day, a rather unspectacular looking man in a Washington Nationals cap walked in to the L’Enphant Metro Station in Washington DC, and put on a world class performance for a mostly non-interested crowd.
The artist was world class, and the instrument was one of the greatest ever made. In fact, Bell rode a taxi cab to the station from his hotel…despite the fact that it was only 3 blocks, because he didn’t want his instrument to risk being damaged by an accident or by the cool weather, and when you hear a little more about the violin, you will understand why.
Bell’s violin was handcrafted in 1713 by Antonio Stradivari during the Italian master's "golden period," toward the end of his career, when he had access to the finest spruce, maple and willow, and when his technique had been refined to perfection. Bell bought it a few years ago. The price tag was reported to be around $3.5 million.
When the violinist shows his Strad to people, he holds the instrument gingerly by its neck, resting it on a knee. "He made this to perfect thickness at all parts," Bell says, pivoting it. "If you shaved off a millimeter of wood at any point, it would totally imbalance the sound." No violins sound as wonderful as Strads from the 1710s, even today.
Bell played some classic and stirring pieces for nearly 45 minutes in the L’enfant Station of the Washington DC Metro Rail. Before the experiment began, the organizers worried what would happen if Bell were to be mobbed by admirers. Turns out, that was not even close to an issue. In the three-quarters of an hour that Joshua Bell played, only seven people stopped what they were doing to hang around and take in the performance for longer than one minute. Twenty-seven people gave money, most of them on the run -- for a total of $32 and some change. 1,070 people who hurried by, oblivious, many only three feet away, few even turning to look.
An interesting observation can be made on the video. Despite the fact that the majority of people walking by almost completely ignored the talented musician, EVERY kid that passed by strained to look and had to be dragged along by the adult that they were travelling with. Almost as if kids are born with an innate ability to appreciate beauty and are still endowed with enough innocence to not realize they should be ignoring the music.
Of the seven people who stopped longer than a minute to listen, only one person recognized him. A woman named Stacey who had seen him a few weeks earlier at a concert. She arrived when there were only a few minutes remaining in the performance. She gets a giant grin on her face and plants herself 10 feet from Bell for the rest of the time Bell plays. She then introduces herself to him at the end of his set, and tosses a 20 dollar bill into Bell’s guitar case. One other person, it turns out a man who had studied violin in his younger days, listens intently and humbly tosses in a 5 at the end of the music. In an interview done by the Washington Post with the man who was watching, this man didn’t know who Bell was, but recognized the genius. Five other people stood for at least a minute listening, but other than these few people, most everyone just walked by ignoring the brilliance.
Which begs the questions:
IF A GREAT MUSICIAN PLAYS GREAT MUSIC BUT NO ONE HEARS . . . WAS HE REALLY ANY GOOD?
If we as a culture wasn’t so wrapped up in ourselves, would we have more time to recognize brilliance?
Clearly context matters, but is it the context that makes brilliance, or is the context the thing that makes brilliance noticeable?
If this were in another country besides the United States, would people have taken the time to sit and notice?
Are we in so big of a hurry in America that we are missing out on untold beauty?
Are you looking for amazing things in unexpected places?
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Anberlin – “Like a Rolling Stone” from the Album “Lost Songs” (Clip 93)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
Man of the Match:
Red Card
(Clip 92) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
Patron- Does this library have any information of King Malcolm the Tenth?
Reference Librarian – You mean the King from the play, Macbeth?
P – No I mean the civil rights leader.
RL – Oh, you mean Malcolm X.
P- Do you have a videotape of Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg address?
RL – No, we don’t.
P – You should get it. You have Bush on tape, and Lincoln was a greater President.
RL – Thanks for that historical analysis.
P- Do you have a good English translation of Hamlet?
RL – Yes, it’s by a man named William Shakespeare…very close to the original.
P – Who invented the time machine?
RL – H.G. Wells
P – I need information on the car BMW. How do you spell it?
RL – Go to the head of the class…you just did.
P – Why were so many Civil War battles fought in national parks?
RL – Trees provided great protection from bullets.
P – Do you have an audio tape of live dinosaur sounds?
RL – No, but you might want to try the zoo.
P – I need information on the woman named Rosetta Stone.
RL – Good luck. Let me know when you find it.
P- I need books on youth in Africa.
RL – You need books on young people in Africa?
P – No I need books about killing old people and vegetables.
RL – Oh, you have the wrong continent. That’s youth in Asia.
P – Is the correct term Swiss or Swedish?
RL – Yes.
P – I want to get the Gutenberg Bible on inter-library loan.
RL – That depends. Will you pay the shipping costs?
P – Do you have a copy of the Jerusalem newspaper on the day Jesus was born?
RL – No, but it might be on microfiche.
P- I need a book on impudence.
RL – Can you be more specific?
P – My husband can’t sustain an erection.
P – I need a cookbook for preparing dog food.
RL – You mean like kibbles and bits?
P – No for preparing a roast dachshund.
P – Is this library a government suppository?
RL – Sometimes it seems like it is.
P – I need a biography of a prehistoric man.
RL – How about Ralph the Hairy?
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