Greetings
and Salutations, People: There is officially too much going on. It’s Groundhogs
Day, tomorrow is the Super Bowl, this is the 200th episode of
VSR…and the Avs are on.
Ray Lewis’
first career sack: Jim Harbaugh
VSR is
brought to you by the Amazon.com link on VerticallyStripedSocks.com.
Tweet of the Week:
@InsidiousYoink
"I rapidly kidnapped a happily napping kid" is not only a fun tongue twister, but also a Felony! ...or so my lawyer tells me.
"I rapidly kidnapped a happily napping kid" is not only a fun tongue twister, but also a Felony! ...or so my lawyer tells me.
Things I
liked this week:
Nuggets game
with the family last night.
The Week in
Wankery:
Red Card: The NFL – Super Bowl logo not changing anymore
since Super Bowl 45.
Today on VSR –
Breaking down the Super Bowl scientifically and the He-Man Movie Watchers Club
will be discussing The People vs. George Lucas
If you’d like
to join in the fun - (646) 716-7522 OR OHMS-1-MRLAB
(Bring on
Face) –
Let’s get to
the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Let’s get to
the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Morecambe (More-Come), ENGLAND - A man whose dog found a
lump of rare and valuable whale sick on a beach is expecting to be able to sell
it for more than $150,000.
Ken Wilman, 50, was out walking on Morecambe beach when
his dog Madge started sniffing a lump of rock.
At first I thought it was a football but as I got closer
I realized it was a big stone.
Quoting Wilman: "She wouldn't leave it alone. I
picked it up and it smelt horrible so I knocked it with my walking stick and a
small lump came off.
I put both pieces back on the beach but something in the
back of my mind told me it might be something unusual. I came back home and
searched online. I had an inkling it was whale vomit and when I saw pictures I
realized it was. When I read how valuable it was I got Madge straight back in
the car and drove back to the beach to bring it home."
Whale vomit is also known as ambergris and is used to
make perfume. It is formed in the digestive system of sperm whales and has a
very strong and unpleasant aroma.
The find could leave Ken more than $150,000 better off
Whales excrete it through the mouth when it is too large
to pass through the digestive system. Perfume makers use it as it has a smell
similar to musk.
A company in France has offered Wilman $6800 per 300g
which would make his piece worth $68,000 but he has been told that companies in
Switzerland offer four times that amount.
Mr Wilman, who is a single parent and has been unemployed
since a motorbike accident in 2007, said when he does sell it he will spend the
money taking his 15-year-old son on a trip to Machu Picchu, in Peru.
He added: "Madge will also be getting a treat for
her find by being fed her favourite sausages every day from now on!"
A man from Pennsylvania who enjoyed a life-long passion
for fast food has been given a whopper of a send-off before reaching his final
resting place.
The family of David Kime arranged for his hearse - and
the funeral procession - to take one last spin through his favorite Burger King
drive-thru before reaching the cemetery.
After reaching the drive-thru each mourner picked up a
Whopper Jr for the road.
The burger was among Mr Kime's favourites and he got one
last Whopper Jr too, the York Daily Record reported. It was placed on top of
his flag-draped coffin at the cemetery.
Daughter Linda Phiel said the stop-off was a happy way of
honouring her father and the things that brought him joy.
"He lived a wonderful life and on his own
terms," she said.
Mr Kime, a World War Two veteran, died on January 20 at
the age of 88.
Ms Phiel said her father had done what he wanted and
eaten what he wanted since her mother, Grace, died about 25 years ago.
David Kime takes a Whopper Jr with him to the grave
"My mother kind of kept him in check," Ms Phiel
told the York Daily Record.
"When she died, for a while, he would eat with us.
But he considered us health freaks because we ate things that were green, like
broccoli."
For many years, Mr Kime was borderline diabetic and had a
pacemaker. Ms Phiel told him a healthy diet would help him live longer.
"He would say, 'I won't live longer, it will just
seem like it because I'll be more miserable faster'," she said.
"He was not prejudiced. He would go to any fast food
place anyone invited him to."
She said he liked tacos, pizza, hamburgers, sandwiches
and hot dogs.
Margaret Hess, the manager of the Burger King branch who organized
40 burgers for the funeral procession, said she was pleased to know Mr Kime was
a loyal customer until "the very end".
Miami, FLORIDA – A southwest Florida man was
arrested after he jumped off the roof of a couple’s North Ft. Myers home,
knocked one person over and then went on a rampage inside the residence.
Oh, he was naked at the time.
The homeowners heard noises on their roof and
went outside to see what was going on. That’s when they spotted a nude Gregory
Bruni, 21, from Venice on the roof. Bruni jumped off the roof and knocked over
one of the victims. He then reportedly ran inside the house and tore a 72 inch
flat screen TV off a living room wall.
As the man yelled to his wife to get his gun,
Bruni continued to trash the house. The sheriff’s office said the man’s wife
managed to fire three shots at Bruni, but missed.
As the man went to get another gun, Bruni
allegedly fell to the floor in the living room and started masturbating. He
then ran into the couple’s son’s room and rubbed the boy’s clothing over his
face.
When deputies arrived, the sheriff’s office
said Bruni fell to the ground, flailed around and spoke – but was not making
any sense.
Bruni tried to get away from the deputies
several times. In the end, they had to use a Taser on him to take him into
custody.
Investigators later discovered that Bruni
defecated near the front door and in a hallway inside the residence.
Bruni was taken to Lee Memorial Hospital and
put under observation while doctors tried to figure out what he was on.
I’m Craig,
and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on the Whale
Band name of the week:
Circle gets
the Square
Super Bowl
Breakdown:
San Francisco
49ers vs. Baltimore Ravens
1. Primary
Team color: Red or Purple – As someone who attended K-State, I’m going purple
here. Point for Baltimore.
2. More
likable Harbaugh: Jim or John?
John seems
pretty even keel…not exciting, but not obnoxious either. Jim seems like a
maniac with the added benefit of appearing to be a crazy person. While that can
be fun to watch…I think I’d prefer to be friends with the non-insane person. (Clip
70 – Jim Harbaugh – Shook his hand too hard)
Point for Baltimore.
3. Which city
has more urban chickens?
Urbanchickens.com
San Francisco
has significantly more urban chickens than Baltimore per the website
urbanchickens.com. Point for Baltimore.
Who wants to live next to someone with chickens in their apartment?
4. Historical
Significance:
First time
two franchises in Super Bowl history that two teams with Undefeated Super Bowl
history have faced each other.
5-0 in Super
Bowl History vs. 1-0 in Super Bowl History. 49ers clearly have the longer and
better history. Point for San Francisco.
5. Better TV
show most associated with the city:
San
Francisco: Full House
Baltimore:
The Wire
Although I’ve
never seen The Wire, I’m awarding this one to Baltimore no questions
asked…Point for Baltimore.
6. Which team
has the most despicable player?
San
Francisco: Randy Moss
Baltimore:
Ray Lewis
Point for Baltimore.
7. Which city
has the strongest selection of good movies associated with it?
Baltimore:
Blair Witch Project, 12 Monkeys, Half of Sleepless in Seattle, Tin Men and
Diner, Avalon, True Lies, Wedding Crashers, The Accidental Tourist.
San Francisco: So I Married an Axe Murderer, The
Rock, Milk, Fearless, The Pursuit of Happyness, The Graduate (Set partially in
SF), The Joy Luck Club, The Birds, Guess who’s coming to dinner, The Birdman of
Alcatraz, Dirty Harry, Bullitt, Harold and Maude, Sneakers, The Maltese Falcon,
Zodiac, The Game, Mrs. Doubtfire, and Vertigo.
Point for San Francisco
8. Which city
has the crappiest movies associated with it?
Baltimore: Baltimore:
Bad: Home for the Holidays, Hairspray (both versions), He’s just not that into
you, The Replacements, Serial Mom, Runaway Bride
San
Francisco: Bad ones: Cats and Dogs 2: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, The
Fan
Point for San Francisco
9. Which is
the more preferable vacation destination?
San Francisco
in a landslide over Baltimore.
Point for San Francisco.
10. More
ridiculous former logo story:
-49ers in
February 1991 changed their logo for 24 hours
-For the
first 3 years of their existence the Ravens used a logo that they stole.
Point for Too close to call.
11. Which
team will have the more insufferable fans if they win?
Too close to call.
He-Man Movie Watchers Club:
The People
vs. George Lucas
Face included
some links that I wanted to watch, but I got distracted by my parents and their
garage door dilemma.
-Opening
scene: John Stewart mocking George Lucas by acting like a fanboy. (Clip 01)
-Star Wars
montage with nerds.
-Something
about Star Wars that makes people want to make it themselves and add to the
universe. It’s a participatory nerd culture. (Clip 02)
-Does George
Lucas even LIKE Star Wars anymore?
-He was a
terrible student in school.
-Large
amounts of resentment for people with money getting to make aesthetic and story
decisions. Kind of a rebel.
-Why do
people connect SO strongly with Star Wars?
-Is Star Wars
a good thing? Created a Hollywood merchandising machine. (Clip 3)
Best thing
about this movie: The creative elements that are part of each scene:
(Clip 4)
It starts to
go wrong: 1997 – The New Editions (Clip 5)
Han Solo
fires first! (Clip 6)
Does it
matter if Han shoots first? (Clip 7)
Who does art
belong to? (Clip 8)
George Lucas
– like a holocaust denier, but rather a Star Wars denier. (Clip 9)
In 1988,
Lucas testified in Congress against the colorization of old black and white
movies. “In the future it will become even easier for old negatives to be
“replaced” by new altered negatives. This would be a great loss to our society.
Our cultural heritage must not be allowed to be rewritten”
The Star Wars
Holiday Special
Voice Mail –
720-CUB-1-ACE (720-282-1223)
Twitter:
@socnorb777
Vertically Striped Music
Recommendation:
If you want
to sing out, sing out – Cat Stevens
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
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