Show Prep 128

Greetings and Salutations, People: Okay, I promise that’s it for the Weird Al for awhile on the show, but hey, it’s my birthday and I’ll play Weird Al if I want to. Happy Birthday to me! 35 years old, and still as dumb as ever. I’d like to say it’s a happy birthday, but if we’re learned anything from Jerry Seinfeld when he’s pretending to not be funny, There’s no such thing as a happy Birthday! (Clip 38)

Welcome to the show, I am your birthday boy AND the host of this here fake radio program, Craig Dodge, and you are listening to Vertically Striped Radio, you lucky thing you! And despite Jerry’s protestations to the contrary, this has actually been a pretty good birthday to this point.


Tweet of the Week:
paulthenshirley Paul Shirley
I buy things online for the self-esteem boost that comes from answering No to "Do you need help finding your card's security code?"

Today on VSR – The NFL is great, we all know this, but most of its teams could use a tweak or two on their uniforms. I’ve got the first in a two part series of making NFL uniforms better. Today we will tackle the AFC. Sports are ridiculously good right now, we’ll discuss a few of the goings on in the world of the sporting types here in America, I have a mammoth edition of Something to talk about ready to roll, and I have a host of other things I’ll probably NEVER get to today, so rather than promise you segments that will probably not happen today, let’s just get started with the show...

If you’d like to join in the fun - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1

To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Voice Mail – 720-CUB-1-ACE (720-282-1223)
Twitter: @socnorb777


(Bring on Face) –

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)









Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

LODI, N.J. – A New Jersey police chief says no one is above the law — not even his wife.

Lodi Police Chief Vincent Caruso ordered an officer to ticket his wife after she double parked while dropping off their 5-year-old son at school.

Caruso told The Record he didn't want her to get any special treatment because of who she is. The chief paid the $54 ticket.

It's not the first time for Paula Caruso. The chief ordered another officer to ticket her two years ago after she forgot to move their vehicle for street cleaning.

The chief told the newspaper he loves his wife and she's very busy driving their four sons around.


ATTLEBORO, Mass. – A man who scrubbed his pickup truck in the nude at a Massachusetts car wash has been sentenced to a year of probation.

Robert E. Bailey, of Cumberland, R.I., pleaded guilty on Monday to open and gross conduct for being naked at Economy Car Wash in North Attleborough on May 31.

A woman vacuuming her vehicle at the business called police after she saw the 65-year-old Bailey in the nude.

Police say Bailey was wearing shorts by the time they arrived at the scene and he denied doing anything wrong.

A judge also ordered Bailey to stay away from the car wash and the witness and to continue counseling. He will also be required to register as a sex offender.
 

SAN FRANCISCO – Hanging out on a street corner has taken on new meaning in San Francisco.

Several dozen men and at least one woman took part in a naked protest Saturday in San Francisco's Castro District that has become known for its nude visitors.

Some participants carried signs that read, "Nudity is Not a Crime" and "Get Your Hate Off My Body," as they milled around a street corner to the amusement of passersby.

San Francisco generally allows public nudity, but a city supervisor has proposed regulating the practice.

Organizers of the so-called nude-in say they were not protesting Supervisor Scott Wiener's proposal.

Rather, they say, they want to promote acceptance of the human body no matter what shape or form it comes in.

I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Nic Cage and Leonardo DiCaprio got into a bidding war this past week for the skull of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Leo eventually blinked and Nic ended up with the winning bid of 276,000.

How old is _____??? (A ridiculous dinosaur auction enthusiast)

Nic Cage - 47
Leonardo DiCaprio – 36 (Turns 37 in November)

Sports news topics:

Best Day of Regular Season Baseball Ever? – Wednesday night, Red Sox and Rays drama has to be the best regular season baseball drama I’ve ever seen.

Throwing my support behind…The Milwaukee Brewers.

Phil Costa – Perhaps has an excuse for all the bad snaps? Apparently Centers have been required to wear microphones, but the NFL is changing its policy so teams can either have mics in their centers or both guards. Allegedly teams are isolating the sound and learning how to get what the snap count is like so that they can imitate the sounds of Tony Romo’s calls at the line. I say it’s a flimsy excuse for a bad center.
 
Improve NFL Uniforms: AFC Edition –

East:
Patriots – Go back to Pat Patriot uniforms. Done and done.
Bills – They’ve improved massively already, now just fix the helmet stripe, the back of it is way to wide.
Dolphins – Get rid of all Navy blue in the helmet, and go back to the older school Dolphin. Either that, or just wear the M helmet like the Dolphin in the logo.
Jets – Kelly Green

North:
Steelers – You can afford to put logos on both sides of the helmets. Go ahead and do it!
Browns – Do NOTHING, you’re golden already. (Just don’t ever go back to those brown pants.)
Bengals – Boomer Esiason era uniforms. Done and Done.
Ravens – Put stripes on your pants.

South:
Jaguars – Blow it up and start from scratch. Teal is terrible.
Colts – Do NOTHING.
Titans – I rather like almost everything about the Titans uniform except for their helmet stripes. Worst Helmet stripes in the NFL. Just get rid of them.
Texans – Just never wear the same color pants and jerseys, other than that, I’m rather fond of Houston’s threads.

West:
Raiders – Do NOTHING.
Chiefs – Replace all yellow with black.
Chargers – Sky blue all the time, numbers on the helmets.
Broncos – Orange jerseys all the time, enough with the silly swooshes all over the place.

 
Something to Think About:

1. The Tetris Demon
2. Wendy’s – Anyone remember the tables with the old fashioned newspaper advertisements?
3. Animal vs. Kid Naming Conventions – Wild and Weird for kids and Normal Names for animals or vice versa?
• Namita and Samara (kids) Molly and Hailey (cats)
• Ellie and Luke (kids) Fizzgig and Skeemo (dogs)
4. Came across an appraiser this week that has a pager? A PAGER
5. Why does anyone ever clap at the end of a movie in the theater?
6. If you could have any weird item from television history in your house, what would it be? I’m all in with the big wheel from The Price is Right.

Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Cage the Elephant – “Right Before My Eyes” From the album - Thank You, Happy Birthday

Shalom and Good Evening to you all!