Show Prep #17

Greetings and Salutations, people. It’s the show that is not currently under investigation for the choking of Tila Tequila, this is Vertically Striped Radio. Brought to you by the very prestigious VerticallyStripedSocks.com, we are here to serve and to protect. I am your host, Craig Dodge, doing what I can to promote the cause of righteousness in the sports world.

I am excited because this is one of my favorite weekends of the entire year, Opening weekend of NFL season. My excitement is dulled a tiny bit by the fact that I will be missing the bulk of the football games tomorrow, sadly including the Broncos-Bengals game.

I will be boarding an airplane to Seattle tomorrow morning at 10:30, and I will be enjoying a week of vacation up in Washington State this week. There are even plans being formulated to get together with our friend Aaron aka BonaduceSux from the Dameshek.com message board at a Seattle Mariners game on Wednesday night, so hopefully that works out. (Aaron is a guy who has his very own very solid BlogTalk show on Sunday nights, which you can hear at www.blogtalkradio.com/No-Name-Show)

Best of all, I will be away from work for a whole week plus this weekend and next, so that’s definitely a good thing.

To join in the conversation today…
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com

Today on Vertically Striped Radio: We will set the order for the Fantasy Comedy League Draft, we will also explain what exactly a Fantasy Comedy League is. We have a new contender in the crazy news department…look out Florida and Germany, Istanbul is in the house! We will take a look at the new kid on the block that is taking the animation world by storm…that’s right! The Vertically Striped Animation Studios. Plus, I’ll share how I was able to get prominently featured on ESPN.com this week. Since we are ostensibly a sports show, we may even discuss which is better…college football or the NFL. And I have a crappy fight song showdown for the ages. All this goodness, plus if you feel like calling in…your calls.

Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1



Before we get any further into this crazy little thing called Vertically Striped Radio, let’s do the news…
(Play News Music – Clip 03)
The weird news which we are so fond of doing has long been dominated by two places. Which are of course…
Germany and Florida
However, we have a new contender in the ring which if stories like the next two keep coming out, may have to join the other two stalwarts as official weird news locales. Istanbul, Turkey is definitely bringing it strong this week. In fact, this week’s news is sort of an unofficial throw down between Istanbul and Florida, let’s see who you think wins the title this week. First the contender…
ISTANBUL (Reuters) – A Turkish woman accused of cutting off her lover's penis must wait 18 months for a verdict and sentencing while a court determines whether his re-attached penis still functions, a court source said Thursday.
The criminal court in the Black Sea town of Trabzon will wait for a medical report assessing whether the 28-year-old victim has regained full use of his organ or if he is permanently disabled, an official involved in the trial said.
"To determine which crime was committed, we first need the report," the source said. "We'll continue holding hearings in the trial from time to time until we receive the report."
The 39-year-old defendant faces between one and three years in prison if her former lover recovers, Haber Turk newspaper said. She will be jailed for at least 8 years if he does not.
The woman told the court he had broken his promise to marry her and forced her into prostitution and beat her.
Surgeons worked for 11 hours to re-attach the penis in an operation which they described as successful, and said full sexual function should return within six months, Hurriyet said.
The defendant, who has not been jailed during the trial, told the court she cut off her former lover's penis and threw it onto the roof of a neighboring building while he was drunk, the newspaper quoted her as saying.


ISTANBUL (Reuters) – Nine women tricked into thinking they were reality TV show contestants and lured into an Istanbul villa were rescued by Turkish military police after two months confinement, a police spokesman said Thursday.
Cameras in the villa filmed the women 24-hours a day, providing a live stream of images for Internet users who had paid to access the footage, the spokesman said.
The women, all from Turkey, according to the Turkish press, had answered an advert seeking contestants for a "Big Brother"-style television show. They passed an audition and selection process before entering the house.
"The women's parents called the police after they didn't hear anything from them. The military police went to investigate and heard the women screaming from inside," the spokesman said, adding the raid took place Monday.
Police detained three men and prosecutors are investigating, he said.
According to Turkish media, the women had signed a contract agreeing they would have no contact with their families and would face a fine of 50,000 Turkish lira if they left early.

Okay, so you’ve heard from the contender, now let’s go to one of the reigning champions…
BAYOU GEORGE, Fla. – Authorities in the Florida Panhandle say they arrested a convenience store shoplifter who demanded to drink the 12-ounce beer he had stolen before being taken into custody.
The Bay County Sheriff's office says the man told the deputy he had recently lost his job of 13 years and wanted to drink beer. The man became combative when the deputy wouldn't let him finish it.
George R. Linthicum II was charged Wednesday with shoplifting, battery, possession of marijuana not more than 20 grams and smuggling contraband into a detention facility.
Bay County Jail officials said Thursday that Linthicum II was in jail and did not yet have an attorney.



BOYNTON BEACH, Fla. – A Boynton Beach man was trying to teach his cat a lesson when he fired his gun, but the efforts landed him in jail. Police said a 43-year-old man was upset that his cat used his bed instead of a litter box. So he took the cat to the garage and fired a handgun into a flotation device to "scare it." The cat was not injured, but the man was charged with shooting in an occupied dwelling and using a firearm while under the influence.
He's being held on a $5,000 bond.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news…(Play News Music – Clip 03)

(Check the phone lines to see if you have any calls)
First item of business today:
Setting the draft order for the Fantasy Comedy League. (Need to create slips of paper to pull from the hat.)

Me (socnorb777) – Stand up and Deliver
MJ (MJA)
Aaron (BonaduceSux) – The Fashionable Males
High Plains Grifter – The Infamous El Guapos
Jerry Fairish (PhillyBillyRules) - Fusilli Larry
Face Ventura – Rant in E-Minor
Dombag85
The Ed (Pey Pey 23) – The Ed’s Super Deluxe Funny Team

-Before we get into pulling names out of the hat, let’s explain exactly what is going down. (Explain the league)

The Ryan – Honorary member of the league (Although he won’t have a team) He gets credit for two great potential franchise names
1. Larry’s Monologue
2. Tina Fey’s Puppetry of the Penis
Positions which we will be drafting:
2 Movie Stars
2 Sitcom/TV Show Stars (it doesn't have to be a traditional 30 minute sitcom)
1 Stand up Comedian
1 Message Board Member
1 Flex Position (Wild Card, draft anyone you think is funny, the only limit is your imagination and any applicable local or federal laws)

-Alrighty then, let’s set the draft order!


-My burgeoning animation career with Flipnote Studio. Vertically Striped Animation Studios is really pumping out the quality films. We have released three animals in our nature series (Elephant, Sea Lion, and Chicken) plus we have created the first ever The Ed music video (and we’re currently in production for the second Ed video), plus the Art house film, “The Unbearable Lightness of being Pac-Man” - The Animation Studios are really taking off, our next release is our biggest and best ever.

-The Treasures which I discovered at Invesco Field…my very productive shopping trip to the Invesco Field at Mile High Gift Shop. Very Good Times!

-The sidebar of the UniWatch column on ESPN.com this week.

-Electronic Cigarettes – Maybe the dumbest thing ever. “You can smoke anywhere!” Only now you have to come off like a douche, as you explain why it’s okay that you are smoking in your office or at a restaurant, because you’re not really smoking, you’re just being a dork.

Why the college football is vastly inferior to the NFL.
-Bad matchups – tons of crappy games every season
-Too many teams
-Inferior talent and inferior play
-The way the “championship” is determined
-Very little hope for everyone but a handful of schools to win it all
-Fantasy football is awesome in the NFL and barely possible in college football


-Rundown of the myriad of football contests we are a part of over at Dameshek.com
1. Fantasy Football league – Dameshek.com (ESPN.com)
2. The Ed’s Super Deluxe Football Game – Dameshek.com
3. The Ed’s Super Deluxe College Football Game – Dameshek.com
4. Joe vs. The World – Gambling Title Competition – Dameshek.com
5. UMass Dameshek’s Pick’em League – Yahoo.com
6. Vertically Striped Survivor League on ESPN.com

On ESPN.com, I’ve started an Eliminator Group for the NFL. Pick a team each week to win, and as long as they do so, you stay in. You can only pick a team one time, and there will be some manner of swell prize for the winner!

http://games.espn.go.com/eliminator/en/group?groupID=1116





NBA versus NFL…can you guess which one?
36 have been accused of spousal abuse
7 have been arrested for fraud
19 have been accused of writing bad checks
117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3 have done time for assault
71, repeat, 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
8 have been arrested for shoplifting
21 currently are defendants in lawsuits,
84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

Can you guess which organization this is?
NBA or NFL?

Neither... it's the 535 members of the United States Congress

(Check the phone lines to see if you have any calls)


Bad fight song showdown:

Oklahoma State – (Clip 16)
Cowboys Forever lyrics
The prairie wind touches our skin
Another maverick morning begins
Wild west eyes rise before the sun
We are young guns on the run
Hang ‘em high, pistols to the sky
We ride, we ride, ‘cross the line
It’s in our veins
The feel of the reins
.45s, chaps, bandannas and spurs
We are cowboys forever
Stay here today, gone tomorrow
The open range is our home
All that we own lives inside our soul
We are cowboy to the bone
Hang ‘em high, pistols to the sky
We ride, we ride, ‘cross the line
It is in our veins
The feel of the reins
.45s, chaps, bandannas and spurs
We are cowboys forever
Riding Bullet across the plains
To avenge our kin’s blood and name
In bedlam we will rise and stand
With strength and honor to defend our land
Hang ‘em high, pistols to the sky
We ride, we ride, ‘cross the line
It’s in our veins
The feel of the reins
.45s, chaps, bandannas and spurs
We are cowboys forever
We are, we are
Cowboys forever

BC Lions (Clip 15)
C'mon and Roar you Lions Roar
Thats what a Lions Roar is for
From the mountains to the sea
You are the pride of all BC
RAH RAH!
So buckle down and play the game
You'll lead us on to football fame
We love the L
The I
The O, N, S
C'mon and Roar you Lions
Roar you Lions
Roar you Lions Roar
RAH RAH RAH!

-Educational toys – Why does everyone nowadays think that all toys have to be educational. Ugh. Hardly anything gets better if you put the word educational in front of it. (Television, Toys, Software, Video Games, Website.)

-I saw the movie “Taken” with Liam Neeson – Intense like a roller coaster, but it’s got really bad acting. 5 of out 10.


-South Africa is threatening World War 3 if Castor Semanya is not cleared of all wrong doing.
KLEINMOND, South Africa (Reuters) – South Africa reacted angrily on Friday to a report that tests on its world champion runner Caster Semenya had found she was a hermaphrodite, threatening a "third world war" over the affair.
Athletics' governing body declined to confirm the report in Australia's Daily Telegraph newspaper, which said the 18-year-old runner had both male and female sexual characteristics.
The IAAF said medical experts were examining the results of gender tests on Semenya, who won the women's 800 meters at last month's World Championships in Berlin. No decision would be taken until late November.
"I think it would be the third world war. We will go to the highest levels in contesting such a decision. I think it would be totally unfair and totally unjust," said Sports Minister Makhenkesi Stofile.
South African President Jacob Zuma decried the invasion of Semenya's privacy and what he called the violation of her rights, although neither he nor Stofile denied the report.
"I don't know why we should not respect the privilege between the doctor and the patient. Why, when the tests have been done, why was it published?" Zuma said.
The Telegraph report said tests had found Semenya had no womb or ovaries, but that she had internal testes, the male sexual organs which produce testosterone, and her levels of the hormone were three times that of a 'normal' female.
It said the IAAF was "ready to disqualify Semenya from future events and advise her to have immediate surgery because her condition carries grave health risks. They have also not ruled out stripping Semenya of her 800m world championships gold medal."
'SHOCK AND DISGUST'
Semenya, who was due to compete in a cross country race in Pretoria on Saturday, in her first competition since claiming the world title, withdrew from the event. Semenya's coach Michael Seme said that she was not "feeling well."
Stofile told a news conference his ministry had "noted with shock and disgust" media reports on the test results, which the South African government had not yet received.
"The issue here is that this girl has undesirable levels of testosterone -- what does it matter? That is neither here not there. She does not have a womb -- so what?," he said.
Nick Davies, spokesman for the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF), said media reports on the gender test results should not be considered as official statements by the sports body.
"There is a (IAAF) Council on 21 November and this will be the opportunity to conclusively finalize a decision," he said.
Some South Africans have accused the IAAF of racism for ordering the gender tests on Semenya, saying her broad shoulders and imposing musculature are common in women's athletics.
The controversy may have touched a raw nerve in a country where race is still a highly sensitive issue after decades of apartheid, which ended in 1994.
The militant Youth League of South Africa's ruling African National Congress (ANC) said in a statement: "Even if a test is done, the ANC YL will never accept the categorization of Caster Semenya as a hermaphrodite, because in South Africa and the entire world of sanity, such does not exist."



The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Space Ghost’s Musical Bar-B-Que
Okay, so this isn’t really a music CD, per se, but it is hilarious. I’m not sure if you remember the Space Ghost Coast to Coast television show from the late nineties on Cartoon Network, but this is basically a CD that those guys put together. It features my favorite three characters from this cartoon universe, Brak, Space Ghose, and Zorak. They sing goofy songs and have goofy interactions, and yeah it’s basically completely goofy, but it’s fun, and I like it. It mostly just a combination of bad scat and a bad lounge singer act, but the characters from the show are what make it wonderful. We’ll leave you with a “song” from the album called “I Love You, Baby” (Clip 17)
Shalom and good evening to you all.