Greetings and
Salutations, People: You know that guy in your office who is a little too old
and a little too afraid of new technology, so he uses the fax machine all the
time? That guy just screwed over my football team. Marty Magid, agent for Elvis
Dumervil.
Tweet of the Week:
@sixthformpoet
People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.
People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.
If the United
States ever collapses, the upside is that we can finally use the blue starry
part of American flags to make wizard hats.
VSR is
brought to you by the Amazon.com link on VerticallyStripedSocks.com.
Things I liked this week:
-Nuggets on a
roll. Went to the game last night, won despite not playing their style, which
is encouraging.
Today on VSR –
If you’d like
to join in the fun - (646) 716-7522 OR OHMS-1-MRLAB
(Bring on
Face) –
McDonalds
manager runs my card again because I ask for a receipt.
Let’s get to
the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Let’s get to
the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
VATICAN CITY - Hall of Famer basketball star Dennis
Rodman’s foray into statecraft apparently was not a one-time affair. At least
in his own mind.
CBS Chicago reports that just weeks after his infamous
trip to North Korea, Rodman was spotted in Vatican City on Wednesday, awaiting
coronation of the new pope.
“I am over here to support the new black pope,” Rodman
told CBS, in reference to Cardinal Peter Turkson of Ghana. “He’s 3-to-1 right
now. He can come here with some fresh ideas.”
Of course, Turkson was not chosen. That distinction went
to Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio of Argentina, aka Pope Francis. In a separate
interview, Rodman said he was hoping to arrange a face-to-face meeting with the
newly elected pope.
Amazingly, or perhaps not surprisingly at all, during his
CBS interview from Vatican City Rodman was wearing a T-shirt and hat promoting
a gambling website.
Chicago, ILLINOIS – McDonald's Corp has been sued by a
woman who said her two-year-old son ate a used condom he found in the play area
of one of its restaurants in Chicago.
Anishi Spencer filed the complaint against the fast-food
restaurant chain on Wednesday in Cook County Circuit Court on behalf of herself
and her sons, Jonathan Hines and Jacquel Hines.
According to the complaint, Spencer and her sons were at
a McDonald's restaurant in Chicago's South Side on February 4, 2012 when
Jacquel picked up the used condom from the floor, and shortly thereafter
coughed up a piece of it.
Both boys required medical care, and have suffered
lasting injuries, pain and discomfort, the complaint said.
Spencer accused McDonald's of negligence for failing to
clean hazardous debris from the play area, and failing to use appropriate
security measures to help uncover "deviant activities." The lawsuit
seeks at least $50,000 of damages.
"This is a very disgusting case," Jeffrey
Deutschman, a lawyer for Spencer and her sons at Deutschman & Associates in
Chicago, said in a phone interview.
He said he tried to settle, but was unable to do so after
having to deal with "layers and layers" of bureaucracy at McDonald's,
which is based in Oak Brook, Illinois.
McDonald's spokeswomen did not immediately respond to
requests for comment.
Jonathan is now 4 and Jacquel is now 3.
The case is Hines et al v. McDonald's Restaurants of
Illinois Inc et al, Cook County Circuit Court, No. 2013L002625.
Losing your iPad would be a source of anger and
resentment for most people. But one Arkansas man describes his own stolen
device as a “continuing fountain of entertainment,” thanks to the often bizarre
pictures taken with the iPad that are posted to his iCloud photostream.
"It's been a continuing fountain of entertainment
for me,” Allen Engstram told KTHV. “It's just like I'll wake up one day and
they'll be new pictures there and I'm like oh my gosh, she has no idea."
Engstram says he lost the iPad on a flight from Phoenix
to Denver. He assumed that was the end of the story until one day his son asked
Engstram’s wife about a strange photo that appeared in the family’s photo
stream.
"He said mommy, who's this? And of course she said,
I have no idea who that is. It showed up on my phone too," Engstram said.
"After a while we figured out what was going on. That's the person that
has my iPad."
And while he doesn’t know if he’ll ever actually get the
iPad back, Engstram is making sure to have a little fun in the meantime: He’s
been posting a series of the photos to his social media accounts, including
Twitter and Facebook.
In the caption for the photo included in this article,
Engstrom writes: “Hey cool! This is an actual pic of the wonderful person who
stole my iPad. Apparently the pics she is taking of herself are backing up and
appearing on my phone. No I'm not kidding, this is really happening.”
"I have no problem with putting it on Facebook,
because hey, it's fun for me and it's apparently fun for a lot of other
people,” he told KTHV. “And there's always the chance that someone will say
hey, I know who that is. And I want my iPad back."
Thanks to the response from social media users, Engstram
has begun to piece together some details about the alleged iPad thief. For
example, she apparently lives in Phoenix and Engstram now knows her Instagram
user name.
Plus, he’s nearly certain the woman knows she’s holding
onto stolen property, since Engstram’s name and contact information are etched
onto the back of the iPad.
"It's pretty crazy how quickly it's spread when it
goes viral. I've never had anything like that happen before," he said.
Of course, Engstrom would probably have his iPad back by
now, or, at least know it's exactly location. But, he says he turned off the
device's location enabling functionality before it was stolen.
I’m Craig,
and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on the Whale
Band name of the week:
Octopus Ink
Pen (Octopus Inc)
Damn these
asymmetrical apples.
Will 3D
printing change the world?
West Michigan
Whitecaps – “Baco” A taco with a shell made out of bacon.
Nonsensical Attempts to comfort from
stupid people:
-Guy at Lids
– “Well the good thing is, if this doesn’t work, you can always just get a new
card and it’s only 5 bucks a year.”
-Job
Interview – “We can’t pay as much, but we can offer you a lot of hours so you
can make the same amount of money.”
Vertically Striped Music
Recommendation:
Jack White -
Hypocritical Kiss
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
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