Greetings and Salutations, People:
VSR is
brought to you by the Amazon.com link on VerticallyStripedSocks.com.
Sadness
bearing down this week:
Sonia with
cancer
Colleen’s
nephew with Trisomy 13
Javon Belcher
of the Kansas City Chiefs committing a Murder-Suicide this morning
Tweet of the Week:
@KenJennings
"Why can't anything be easy?!?" I moaned as my real-time handheld connection to all the world's information briefly ran slower than usual.
"Why can't anything be easy?!?" I moaned as my real-time handheld connection to all the world's information briefly ran slower than usual.
Things I
liked this week:
Life of Pi
My wife being
WRONG about tomorrow’s weather for the Broncos-Buccaneers game (According to
forecasts)
Today on VSR –
I try to work out some of my inner demons as I present a Magnificent Seven list
of things that make me act in a way I shouldn’t and a story about one of the
weirdest lawsuits I’ve ever heard that actually WON.
If you’d like
to join in the fun - (646) 716-7522 OR OHMS-1-MRLAB
(Bring on
Face) –
Let’s get to
the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Let’s get to
the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Portales, NEW MEXICO - A university graduate, apparently
feeling guilty over a student prank years ago, has sent a box of toilet paper
to repay his alma mater for loot taken from a dormitory.
Eastern New Mexico University received the yuletide gift box
this week along with a Christmas card and written apology.
The box contained five packages of 16 rolls of two-ply,
septic-safe tissue - a total of 80 rolls.
The anonymous writer apologized for stealing bathroom
tissue years ago and said a new dedication to Christian faith led to the deed.
The handwritten message read: "Years ago when I was
a young immature college student I took toilet paper from your dormitory as a
prank.
"I apologize for that and offer this case.”
"Jesus Christ has made such a difference in my life
and has prompted me to repay for any sins I've done even from so long ago.”
"God Bless and Merry Christmas."
It was unclear whether the gift itself was a prank. But
university officials say "all is forgiven".
"We express our admiration to the anonymous donor
for their integrity and character," Wendel Sloan, director of the school's
media relations said.
"We never even knew that the toilet tissue was
missing, but thank our graduate for doing what they thought was right."
The university said it is donating the TP to a Christian
children's home, since the rolls did not fit their bathroom dispensers.
Staten Island – NEW YORK - Shop and office workers in New
York's Staten Island spotted a strange sight as they glanced out of their windows.
Outside, in a shopping centre car park, a zebra was seen
trotting down the road accompanied on the jaunt by a pony pal.
Video of the runaway equines was captured by shop owner
Zachary Osher.
"I was sitting at my desk at about 9.20am when I saw
a zebra and pony run back and forth across the street, almost getting hit by a
car," he told SILive.com.
"About 30 seconds later, I saw two men in dark black
suits carrying lassoes running across the street."
He added: "I have no idea how it (the zebra) got
there ... I figured (the men with lassoes) knew what to do."
A police spokesman said the zebra and miniature horse
were corralled and returned to a petting zoo.
NORTHERN CHINA - So, here’s the scenario: A man from
northern China meets attractive woman and they marry. All is well until
attractive woman gives birth to a baby girl. A baby so ugly that her husband
finds the child so repulsive to look at he’s convinced his wife’s genes are
responsible for the ugly baby. So, he files for divorce on the grounds of
“false pretences” and wins a six-figure fine from her, the result of his
lawsuit.
Sounds impossible, right? Strangely, it’s the true story
of Jian Feng and his now ex-wife who remains unnamed. After their baby girl was
born, the baby was so ugly that Feng was certain his wife had cheated on him
with another man.
He demanded a DNA test thinking it would prove his wife
had become impregnated by some other man and the baby wasn’t his. But, when the
test results came back it proved Feng was in fact the biological father, he
made the choice every father makes—to apologize and accept his daughter as is.
Oh, wait. That’s not what he did. He decided to sue his
wife to prove his ugly child was all her fault genetically. You would think any
judge would have laughed this case right out of court, but again, not what
happened.
Feng’s wife admitted that before she met her
husband-to-be she had $100,000 worth of cosmetic surgery performed in South
Korea. This backed up Feng’s claim of “false pretenses” that by not revealing
her plastic surgery to him before the marriage, she tricked him. The judge
sided with Feng and ordered the wife to pay him $120,000.
I’m Craig,
and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on the Whale
Band name of the week:
Headline: Kung
fu nuns teach cosmic energy to CERN scientists – Band name of the week: Kung Fu
Nuns
Lottery Fever Grips America:
Lebron bought
some tickets
Simpson’s
Game –
Homer’s Task:
Walk around feeling superior – Mocking Hipsters.
I can’t help
but feeling superior. I don’t like that about me.
Magnificent
Seven – 7 things people do that make me feel superior. (Even though I’m not.)
7. Listen to
Country Music.
6. Drive slow
in the left lane.
5. Be fat
4. Buy Lotto
Tickets
3. Wear Flat
Billed Hats
2. Watch
Reality TV
1. Be Stupid
Voice Mail –
720-CUB-1-ACE (720-282-1223)
Twitter:
@socnorb777
Vertically Striped Music
Recommendation:
Dear and the
Headlights – I’m not crying, You’re not crying, Are you?
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
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