Show Prep 179

Greetings and Salutations, People:

Seeing Borat at the zoo.

Tweet of the Week:  

@DamienFahey
It's truly amazing what Abraham Lincoln accomplished while wearing such a big stupid hat.

(Bring on Face) –

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03) 

Devon, ENGLAND – A drunken English woman, high from a dangerous combo of booze and drugs stole a ferry boat while shouting "I'm Jack Sparrow" at police.  

Alison Whelan referred to herself as Johnny’s Depp’s memorable character in an alcohol fueled romp which could have seriously injured or killed her.

The ships owners said that, had the vessel managed to float out to sea, "it could have been serious".

Whelan was sentenced to 112 days in prison. She had been drinking for two days and combined that with eating hallucinogenic nightshade, which is poisionous.

 

She called for an ambulance after fearing she was having a seizure, but cast off from in the ferry at 3:50 AM shortly after police arrived on the scene.

As she took the ship out, she began shouting "I'm Jack Sparrow" and led coast guard vessels on an hour and a half chase involving more than 30 people, including police, ambulance, lifeboat and coastguards staff.

Eventually, they corralled the latter day pirate wench and dragged her back to shore, but not before the vessel hit the catamaran and another moored vessel damaging both and causing up to £1,500 worth of damage to the ferry.

DATELINE: FLORIDA

-Avoid distracted driving;

-Proceed slowly and carefully when pulling in, and backing out, of parking spaces.

-Visibly check to see whether your foot is on the gas pedal or the brake pedal

-Visibly check to see if the vehicle is in Park, Reverse or Drive.

Are these instructions from Page 62 of a Driver’s Ed book, you may ask? NOPE, those are instructions being published by the US Postal Service in Florida due to the rash of cars driving into post offices in that state.

The U.S. Postal Service has taken the unusual step of releasing this set of helpful driving tips in the hopes that it might help reduce the number of drivers in Florida who have been crashing their cars into post offices. This year so far, eight drivers have crashed into post offices in Central Florida alone.

The USPS says the two most common causes of such accidents are when drivers step on the gas instead of the brake pedal and when the driver accelerates thinking the vehicle is in reverse.

Ecce Homo now Ecce Mono

Borja, SPAIN - The Spanish woman who made headlines around the world for her botched attempt to restore a 20th-century painting of Jesus Christ has hired lawyers and is now seeking royalties from the fees church owners are charging visitors for admission.

The local artist, 80-year-old Cecilia Gimenez, whose poor art restoration talents made her an internet sensation last month said that she tried restoring the decaying "Ecce Homo" ("Behold the Man") portrait because no one else would.

The before and after pictures went viral across the globe and tourists began arriving in droves to view her handiwork – but to the chagrin of the sanctuary’s owners, very few were leaving donations. The sanctuary's owners, the Santi Spiritus Hospital Foundation, then decided to begin charging admission to view the altered artwork and reportedly made $2,600 in the first four days of business.

Visitors want to see "Ecce Mono," or "Behold the Monkey" as it's now called.

The story blew up on social networks and put the northern Spanish town of Borja and its population of about 30,000 at the center of an international joke. Gimenez said she suffered from anxiety attacks and she has sought privacy since the story went viral.

With upcoming litigation though, she has apparently recovered from the anxiety she initially experienced and is now looking to get paid.

Town officials have planned to undo Gimenez's work, but almost 18,000 people have signed an online petition to preserve the post-restoration painting.

I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Top 7 NFL Logos

Ravens

Eagles

Titans

Dolphins

Panthers

7. Chiefs

6. Broncos

5. Buccaneers

4. Giants

3. Texans

2. Cowboys

1. Colts

Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:

Ben Folds Five – Do It Anyway

Shalom and Good Evening to you all!

Show Prep 178

Greetings and Salutations, People: Still completely unaware why I’m one of the Secret Kids, I’m Craig Dodge and THIS is Vertically Striped Radio.

Story of going to the Broncos game on Sunday Night.

Tweet of the Week:  

badbanana - I keep waiting for a musical montage to start so I can do something awesome.

Today on VSR – 9-11 Changed the world…including in some ways you’d NEVER expect. We’ll take a look at a few. We’ll investigate and debunk Dave Dameshek’s assertion of what constitutes the worst holiday. Something to think about makes an appearance on the show, and of course…it’s football season, so we’ll talk some pigskin…

If you’d like to join in the fun - (646) 716-7522 OR OHMS-1-MRLAB

To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com

Voice Mail – 720-CUB-1-ACE (720-282-1223)

Twitter: @socnorb777

(Bring on Face) –

Did you hear about the Indian who drank 40 cups of tea and died in his tepee?‏

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03) 

Uniontown, PENNSYLVANIA - A woman is behind bars after police allege she was stopping motorists in Uniontown and offering to strip for money.

Jackie L. Hatter, 35, was charged before Magisterial District Judge Randy S. Abraham with possession of marijuana and disorderly conduct following the incident at 8:40 a.m. Sunday.

Hatter was flagging down motorists in Uniontown, stopping drivers and offering to take off her clothing for cash.

When police arrived near the location, Hatter jumped in front of the patrol car and began screaming and swearing incoherently. She refused to calm down and was taken into custody, he said.

Once inside a holding cell at the police station, Hatter was uncooperative with police, screaming and swearing for more than an hour. Numerous times during the incident Hatter asked officers to shoot her and also began hitting the walls inside the cell, causing officers concern for her safety.

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. -- Police in Miami Beach said a homeless man broke into a car, stole a credit card and then tried to use it to buy a beer -- from the bartender the card belonged to.

The case was cracked when 53-year-old David Weber handed the card to the bartender who took his order Monday night. The Miami Herald reported the bartender noticed he had just been handed his own credit card. The bartender called Miami Beach police. Weber was charged with credit card fraud and theft.

OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — Talk about the old ball and chain.

A judge sentenced an Oklahoma man to four years in federal prison on a firearm charge — then minutes later performed a marriage ceremony to wed the new inmate and his longtime girlfriend.

Thursday was a busy day for Larry Austin and Dustie Trojack. First they obtained their marriage license, then Austin pleaded guilty to the firearm charge and was sentenced by Oklahoma County Judge Jerry Bass. Shortly afterward, Bass married the happy couple who kissed before federal authorities whisked Austin away.

(Courtesy of 18nalax)

Shenango Township, PENNSYLVANIA - After assaulting a Pennsylvania teenager Monday morning, a man paused to mock the victim by “Tebowing,” according to cops.

Police report that a 17-year-old boy was on a riding lawn mower cutting grass outside his home when he “turned around on the road, apparently into the path of an oncoming vehicle.”

The car’s driver--who investigators describe as “a taller male, bald, wearing glasses”--exited his vehicle and approached the boy. The suspect then “knocked the juvenile off the lawn mower and assaulted him in the front yard of the residence,” according to police.

As the suspect walked back to his car, and just before getting into his vehicle, he stopped to Tebow. He then got into his 1980’s Maroon Chrysler New Yorker and fled the crime scene.

I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Bring in the Whale:

Band name of the week:

Insensitive Richard (Courtesy of Major Minority)

Dameshek – Labor Day is the worst holiday – NO WAY! – No gift giving required, it means the start of NFL football is less than a week away, guaranteed 3 day weekend every time, the delicious irony of celebrating work by not working. Also, CLEARLY the worst holiday is Valentine’s Day. It’s not even close.

How 9-11 Changed the world in weird ways:

-Dropped the suicide rate in England by 40% for a month

-Caused a permanent drop in Ecstacy use in America

-Caused thousands of more people to die in car accidents (Estimated the automotive deaths increased by nearly 1600 people in 2001 due to 9-11)

-A huge increase in insects and fungal infections in crops in America

-Made whales happier (for 2 days)

NFL Topics from Week 1:

Brandon Weeden vs. the flag

Falcons – on the rise?

What the Jets?

Moment of Silence for Art Modell – NFL deemed not necessary in Cleveland.

Manning is a stud out of the gate.

Roethlisberger the jellyfish

Packers?

Colts are dreadful

RGIII looks glorious

Saints – perhaps coaching does matter

Worst NFL team? Dolphins, Browns, Cardinals

Something to Think About:

1. The exact moment you become a grown up is when you no longer are actively in danger of falling into hot lava.

2. I am physically incapable of walking past 25 cent boxes of crayons without buying one.

3. “Bruce” considered a fruity name even though it is the name of both The Hulk AND Batman. (Clip 30)

4. My greatest fear: Someone getting famous who has my exact name.

5. Chopsticks suck

6. Best idea for a new blog: Tattoops – Bad Tattoo blog. --Chad Johnson got his wife’s face tattooed on his leg. They were married a month before it all fell apart.

7. True or False – Canada is creating a glow in the dark quarter with a picture of a dinosaur on it? True!

Vertically Striped Music Recommendation: Dedicated to Julie

American Beauty Clip – Clip 91

Civil Twilight – Quiet in my Town 9 Clip 92

Shalom and Good Evening to you all!

Show Prep 177

Greetings and Salutations, People:

I dreamt about the newest location for Survivor: Survivor: White House Front Lawn.

Tweet of the Week:  

Hadzilla
Security frantically searching my pockets not realizing I'm stealing the trench coat

yoyoha
"There's a sleeping person. Let's go ask it questions." – Children

sucittaM
Gonna put on an orange vest and start digging a hole until someone stops me.

sarah peters ‏@indiesarah

@socnorb777 A group of gnus should be called a Huey Lewis.

Today on VSR –

If you’d like to join in the fun - (646) 716-7522 OR OHMS-1-MRLAB

To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com

Voice Mail – 720-CUB-1-ACE (720-282-1223)

Twitter: @socnorb777

(Bring on Face) –

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03) 

DARIEN, N.Y. (AP) -- Authorities say a 35-year-old man tried to swallow several counterfeit $50 bills after he was caught trying to use the bogus money at a western New York amusement park.

Deputies were called to Darien Lake Theme Park and Resort on Sunday night after Larry Jones, of Buffalo, bought french fries with a $50 bill.

Deputies say a park employee determined the bill was counterfeit and called security. While being taken away, deputies say Jones stuffed five counterfeit bills into his mouth and tried to eat them.

Security officers retrieved the bills before Jones swallowed them.

Jones was charged with possessing a forged instrument and tampering with evidence and sent to the county jail with no bail.

DAYTON, Ohio (AP) -- Police say robbers who held up an Ohio man at gunpoint gave him back enough money for bus fare before running away.

It happened at a Dayton bus stop on Tuesday morning. Two men walked up to the victim, and one of them put a gun to the his forehead and ordered him to hand over everything in his pockets.

The victim gave them $40 and his cellphone.

Before fleeing on foot, one of the men asked the victim if he had enough money for the bus. When he said no, one handed him back $2.

WARWICK, R.I. (AP) — A Rhode Island woman has been accused by her neighbors of violating an animal-noise ordinance by training her cockatoo to cuss.

Lynne Taylor is accused in Warwick municipal court of training the bird, Willy, to say expletives. The bird has been trained to aim the naughty words at the Taylor’s neighbors, who just so happen to be her ex-husband and his girlfriend.

The neighbors, Kathleen Melker and Craig Fontaine, say they have been subjected to repeated curses from the bird, at one point for 15 minutes at a time.

The animal noise ordinance imposes a small fine on any pet owner whose animal creates habitual noise.

A judge has issued restraining orders telling both women to have no contact.

DICKSON CITY, Pa. (AP) - A bag of stolen cold cuts has landed a northeastern Pennsylvania man in the cooler.

Police say Leonard Taylor broke into a Dickson City deli, made himself a sandwich then took off with a bag of cold cuts and cash on Thursday.

Officers say they saw an intoxicated Taylor sitting on the steps of a demolished home and counting money. He told police he'd been asked to hold the bag of deli meat by a couple who bummed a cigarette from him.

Taylor was arrested after police say they checked a nearby deli and found signs of a break-in. Police say a receipt found with the meat linked the money to the deli.

I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Bring in the Whale:

Band name of the week:

The Ensuing Kickoff

We need Super Bowl predictions:

Craig - Packers over Patriots – Repeat of XXXI

Face – Patriots over Packers

Luke – Broncos over Bears

Whale – Panthers over Colts

The Week in Wankery:

Lady at the Bank – USE THE CHECK WRITER!

Ciri – You suck

Fake Orange Broncos Jerseys from China

Me! – Thumping Luke in Wii games

Me! – Perfect retort

My Mom – Buying a Wii

Lady in the parking lot at the grocery store.

Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah – Upon this Tidal Wave of Young Blood (2005)

Shalom and Good Evening to you all!

Show Prep 176

Greetings and Salutations, People:

Craig’s List – (Clip 10)

The Longest Password
During a recent password audit by Google, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento" When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said: "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital."

Magnificent 7 – Top Seven Group Names

1. Giraffe – Tower

2. Ladybugs – Loveliness

3. Hyenas – Cackle

4. Crows – Murder

5. Otters – Romp

6. Kangaroos - Mob

7. Porcupines - Prickle

Barracudas – Battery

Caterpillars – Army

Cobras – Quiver

Flamingoes – Flamboyance

Geese – Gaggle

Gnus – Implausibility

Goldfish – Glint

Lions – Pride

Parrots – Pandemonium

Wombats – Wisdom

Bats – Cloud

Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:

Settle Down - Kimbra

Shalom and Good Evening to you all!

Show Prep 175

Greetings and Salutations, People:

Tweet of the Week:  

BfordG
Never sky dived before, but I just zoomed google maps way too fast. Pure adrenaline.

Today on VSR – The greatest art restoration in recorded history AND our NFL Divisional Winner picks.

If you’d like to join in the fun - (646) 716-7522 OR OHMS-1-MRLAB

To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com

Voice Mail – 720-CUB-1-ACE (720-282-1223)

Twitter: @socnorb777

(Bring on Face) –

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03) 

BILLINGS, Mont. (AP) -- A Montana man who was injured trying to help corral a cow running in the streets in the state's largest city has been released from the hospital.

The Billings Gazette reports that Morgan Logan of Acton suffered a broken leg and had sore ribs after being thrown by the 1,200-pound cow after it escaped Tuesday afternoon.

Logan says he was driving a gravel truck when he saw police trying to contain the cow and decided to try to help them. He says the next thing he knew he was in the air.

Billings police Lt. Kevin Iffland says by the time Logan encountered the cow it had already tipped over a bicyclist, charged pedestrians and nearly jumped over one of the police vehicles.

A police marksman killed the cow.

A woman has horrified the congregation of her church in Spain after her attempt to restore a painting of Jesus went horribly wrong.

The fresco by Elijah Garcia Martinez had been admired in the Sanctuary of Mercy church in the northern city of Zaragoza for 120 years.

But after noticing the fresco had succumbed to damp and much of the paint had peeled from the plaster, the pensioner, in her 80s, embarked on a secret mission to restore 'Ecce Homo' (Behold The Man) to its former glory.

When the artwork was revealed, though, the original depiction of Jesus was unrecognizable.

To make matters worse, the church had secured a sizeable donation from the granddaughter of the artist to professionally restore the fresco only weeks before.

A spokesmen for the church in Zaragoza said: "The value of the original work was not very high but it was more of a sentimental value.

"The lady, who is in her 80s, apparently considers herself to be an artist. She acted without authorization from anyone.

"The church is always open because many people visit and although there is a guard, no one realized what she was doing until she had finished."

The woman's handiwork is being examined by art experts to see if the painting can be saved.

PLAINFIELD — Two people driving down West Front Street together on Monday morning apparently thought they were doing the right thing when they leaped out of their vehicle and rushed to the defense of what appeared to be a man assaulting a woman, authorities said.

There was just one problem: The woman actually had just robbed the man with whom she was tussling, and the would-be good Samaritans inadvertently allowed her to get away, according to city Public Safety Director Martin Hellwig.

The female suspect remained at large as of late Monday.

“The two (passing motorists) were not involved (in the robbery),” Hellwig said. “They were released and have not been charged.”

About 12:30 a.m. Monday, police responding to a report of a robbery in progress on the 500 block of West Front Street found the victim, a 26-year-old male who lives nearby, authorities explained. The victim reported that he was attacked by an unknown female as he was walking down the street, then robbed of about $400 in cash and a gold chain valued at about $500, according to Hellwig.

The victim said he tried to prevent his assailant from leaving the area, engaging her in a physical struggle, when the passing motorists apparently intervened, restraining him but not assaulting him, Hellwig said. The female suspect, spotting an opening, turned and ran, first trying unsuccessfully to hail a taxi before running down Plainfield Avenue, according to the investigation.

The victim attempted to pursue but soon lost sight of her, Hellwig added. After police arrived, the man provided a description of the motorists’ vehicle — a small, white Honda — and a vehicle matching that description was pulled over shortly thereafter.

The would-be good Samaritans, a 21-year-old city male and a 26-year-old city female, then relayed their story to investigators. Elements of the story were confirmed when video surveillance footage from a nearby gas station was located and reviewed, Hellwig said, adding that the entire situation was complicated by the fact that the victim was intoxicated and spoke limited English.

The footage included clear images of the female suspect and the robbery, Hellwig added, noting that investigators are making progress toward identifying and locating the suspect. The robbery victim was shaken but did not require hospitalization, authorities said.

I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

AFC:

East

Face – Patriots

Craig – Patriots

Kline – Patriots

Luke – Patriots

Dice – Bills

North

Face – Ravens

Craig – Steelers

Kline – Ravens

Luke – Ravens

Dice – Browns

South

Face – Texans

Craig – Texans

Kline – Texans

Luke – Jaguars

Dice – Texans

West

Face – Chiefs

Craig – Broncos

Kline – Chargers

Luke – Broncos

Dice – Broncos

NFC:

East

Face – Giants

Craig – Cowboys

Kline – Eagles

Luke – Redskins

Dice - Redskins

North

Face – Packers

Craig – Packers

Kline – Packers

Luke – Bears

Dice – Bears

South

Face – Falcons

Craig – Saints

Kline – Saints

Luke – Buccaneers

Dice – Buccaneers

West

Face – 49ers

Craig – 49ers

Kline – 49ers

Luke – Rams

Dice - Rams

Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:

Blood and Guts – Middle Brother

Shalom and Good Evening to you all!