Jimmy Fallon – Tebowie Intro
Greetings and Salutations, People: Vertically Striped Radio: What NBC Nightly News would be if Brian Williams had little to no resources, limited interest in the outside world, and was obsessed with The Denver Broncos and Muppets. This IS Vertically Striped Radio, and I am your host, Craig Dodge
Walked into the women’s restroom last night after two glasses of wine. The party was good, Asia, Mexico, Italy, France, and New York Nightclub stations. 5 dollar sodas, booze flowed freely.
Tweet of the Week:
Shane! @batsly
Football: obtain brown thing. Once you have brown thing, run away from other men, lest they hug you.
Today on VSR – The fun of live scoring updates on a podcast from a football game for which 98% of the listeners already know the final outcome! I’ve got a new segment which I found on “My” List, We’ll do something I said we’d do last week with a review of our preseason NFL division winner picks, I’ve got a new “Something to think about” and we’ll probably end up talking a tiny bit of Tebow, as the dude has dominated Denver’s news scene this week.
If you’d like to join in the fun - (646) 716-7522 OR OHMS-1-MRLAB
Voice Mail – 720-CUB-1-ACE (720-282-1223)
Twitter: @socnorb777
(Bring on Face) –
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
STOCKHOLM (Reuters) – So, if you’re pirating music, did you know that you can now avoid prosecution in Sweden on grounds of religious freedom?
Sweden dealt a symbolic blow to the global fight against digital music and film piracy by officially recognizing the Church of Kopimism, a group that promotes file-sharing across the Internet, as a religion.
Kopimism's name is derived from the words "copy me" and as its website makes clear it strongly supports all forms of downloading and uploading files and sees copyright laws as violating freedom of information.
"We believe that information is holy," said Isak Gerson, who calls himself the "spiritual leader" of a church whose key symbols are "Ctrl C" and "Ctrl V," the keyboard short cuts for copy and paste.
"We do not think that copying is stealing or can ever be stealing," Gerson, 20, added to Reuters.
Graves County, KENTUCKY - A group of Amish men are scheduled to spend 10 days behind bars for a very odd reason. It seems they are in trouble with the law for refusing to put safety triangles on their buggies
The bearded men belong to an ultra-conservative religious offshoot that believes the orange signs are flashy and conflict with their pledge to live low-key and pious lives.
Ananias Byler was the first of 10 Amish men sentenced to 10 days' jail for not paying $489 in fines incurred for failing to attach the orange signs to the back of their horse drawn buggies.
In court the Amish men refused to pay outstanding traffic fines
The men belong to a century-old conservative breakaway group of Amish known as Swartzentruber who live without electricity, plumbing or appliances.
They have been living in breach of the law in recent years for refusing to use the safety triangles on their buggies.
"We're just not going to pay," Jacob Gingerich, a farmer and father-of-12, said before the court appearance.
Gingerich and two other Amish men have sued over the state highway law, saying it infringes on their religious freedom.
The Kentucky Supreme Court has agreed to hear the case later this year after the state appeals court rejected the men's argument.
State politicians are also considering changes to the highway code to allow the Amish to use grey reflective tape instead of orange triangles.
AMSTERDAM, The Netherlands – Apparently the Dutch are serious about fighting crime, but this may be a bit much. Local police requested a military jeep to chase a suspect over soggy terrain that their police cruisers wouldn’t be able to traverse.
At that very moment 2 F-16 fighter jets were about to leave Volkel airbase on a training mission, so the pilots volunteered to help in the chase using their infrared cameras.
The suspect was in a car with stolen license plates that sped away when police tried to pull it over. After an exchange of gunfire, the car crashed into a canal and the man ran away across a field.
In the end, a tip from a suspicious neighbor, and not a high-tech jet, led police to the suspect, but that would have to be intimidating if you’re speeding away in a Jeep after exchanging shots with police in a stolen vehicle, and suddenly you’re being hunted by F-16’s.
I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring in the Whale:
Band name of the week: Gorbachev’s Birthmark (or Gorbachev’s Head Splotch)
Tim Tebow’s fire – Clip 51
Missed Connections: (Intro - Clip 10)
Rose:
I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, you were nothing more than a fling - a sexual fling.
Just because you left your husband, don't think that I am planning to leave my wife.
I suggest you keep seeing that guy (Jay, Jack, John - whatever his name was that I saw at your town-house when I stopped by the other month)
Please stop posting here, I'm not coming back
I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, you were nothing more than a fling - a sexual fling.
Just because you left your husband, don't think that I am planning to leave my wife.
I suggest you keep seeing that guy (Jay, Jack, John - whatever his name was that I saw at your town-house when I stopped by the other month)
Please stop posting here, I'm not coming back
You work at home depot in arvada. You got me a paint sample, brown teepee and some glitter paint. I thought you were soo cute! I wish I had the guts to say something..
M- I like you. I really like you. I'm not sure if your interested in me. I know I'm older than you and I come with baggage. I really enjoy our kissing, but I would gladly do more. Your the last man standing on my field and maybe I'm done playing. If you see this reply with the beers we drank last night and lets move things to the bedroom. I worry that you and I are simply headed for a missed connection, let's not miss, let's bump ~ A
A- I plan to call you. I don't want to hurt you, but I'm just not into you. As discussed I can't lead you on to nothing. I'm sorry. Can we go back to drinking and throwing sharp objects? ~ M
We met in February years ago. One late night I drove you home and the snow was falling softly on the windshield. I was full of hope and excitement. We became very strange and unlikely friends for a few years.
I feel stupid writing this. One of those broken-hearted fools. Maybe all of us are looking backwards at the things that couldn't be. I'm not really broken hearted though. I got married and oddly enough I'm happily married. He's not you and he's very compassionate, sweet, generous. You were a mess. I loved the mess too but a choice had to be made. You told me to go to him. I did. And then I told you we couldn't be friends because I would always love you and that jeopardized my future with him. Catch 22.
I remember you used to be plagued by dreams of her. You hurt so badly. Now I have a hole in my heart because of you. I dream of you.
This is for catharsis only. My friend who claims to be psychic said she saw that you were happy and moved on. You were getting married or having a baby? Or some shit like that.
But I know that you think of me as much as I think of you though. You are my soul-mate. We came from the same hopeless piece of stardust in the universe and we're stuck together even when we are apart.
On days like this, when it rains, when the moon is full and bright, when you see ducks, when there isn't much to do and you go out driving alone listening to the Killers. You are thinking of me and loving me and missing me, the way I miss you. And there just isn't a fucking thing either of us can do about it.
When you're living your life, well, that's the price you pay
Whenever I breathe out, you're breathing it in
Whenever I breathe out, you take it in again
I'm feeling this positive/negative, positive/negative
I feel stupid writing this. One of those broken-hearted fools. Maybe all of us are looking backwards at the things that couldn't be. I'm not really broken hearted though. I got married and oddly enough I'm happily married. He's not you and he's very compassionate, sweet, generous. You were a mess. I loved the mess too but a choice had to be made. You told me to go to him. I did. And then I told you we couldn't be friends because I would always love you and that jeopardized my future with him. Catch 22.
I remember you used to be plagued by dreams of her. You hurt so badly. Now I have a hole in my heart because of you. I dream of you.
This is for catharsis only. My friend who claims to be psychic said she saw that you were happy and moved on. You were getting married or having a baby? Or some shit like that.
But I know that you think of me as much as I think of you though. You are my soul-mate. We came from the same hopeless piece of stardust in the universe and we're stuck together even when we are apart.
On days like this, when it rains, when the moon is full and bright, when you see ducks, when there isn't much to do and you go out driving alone listening to the Killers. You are thinking of me and loving me and missing me, the way I miss you. And there just isn't a fucking thing either of us can do about it.
When you're living your life, well, that's the price you pay
Whenever I breathe out, you're breathing it in
Whenever I breathe out, you take it in again
I'm feeling this positive/negative, positive/negative
Week in Wankery: (Intro: Clip 8)
Girl wearing Patriots shirt working at King Soopers
Cop stalking the School Zone
Me walking into the women’s restroom
Me escaping the women’s restroom without being detected.
Ben Roethlisberger and his terrible Hat
AFC:
AFC East – Jets, Dolphins, Patriots, Bills
Craig - Patriots
Face - Patriots
Dice - Jets
Luke - Jets
AFC North – Steelers, Ravens, Browns, Bengals
Craig - Ravens
Face - Ravens
Dice - Bengals
Luke - Bengals
AFC South – Jaguars, Texans, Colts, Titans
Craig - Colts
Face - Colts
Dice - Titans
Luke - Titans
AFC West – Broncos, Chargers, Chiefs, Raiders
Craig - Chargers
Face - Chargers
Dice - Chargers
Luke - Broncos
NFC:
NFC East – Eagles, Redskins, Giants, Cowboys
Craig - Eagles
Face - Giants
Dice - Cowboys
Luke - Redskins
NFC North – Bears, Packers, Lions, Vikings
Craig - Packers
Face - Packers
Dice - Lions
Luke - Bears
NFC South – Saints, Buccaneers, Falcons, Panthers
Craig - Saints
Face - Falcons
Dice – Buccaneers
Luke - Buccaneers
NFC West – 49ers, Rams, Seahawks, Cardinals
Craig - Rams
Face – Rams
Dice – 49ers
Luke - Cardinals
Craig – 4
Face – 4
Dice – 1
Luke - 1
...And Craig and Face's preseason Super Bowl predictions
Super Bowl:
Face - Falcons vs Ravens - Falcons win Super Bowl
Craig - Eagles vs Colts - Colts win Super Bowl
Beth Stelling – Feeding Raccoons Story from “The Moth” (Clip 81)
Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Blind Pilot – One Red Thread – From their 2008 Album “3 Rounds and a Sound”
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
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