Greetings and Salutations, people! This is a radio show that is a powerhouse on the level of the 84-85 Winnipeg Jets! This is Vertically Striped Radio.
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Tweet of the Week:
kevinpollak Kevin Pollak
by facelift25
Here's to a lovely weekend with friends and family. Barring that, don't kill anyone. Ya know what? Don't get caught.
Today on VSR – Crazy politics galore, I’ll make the case for my new political party with the Magnificent 7 list, we’ll play “Would you rather?”, a new episode of something to think about and a new Week in Wankery.
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Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Edmond Talmacean, a 40-year-old Bucharest politician, has inspired national headlines with his Michael Jackson-inspired moonwalk on a television show and his impersonations of the late dictator Nicolae Ceausescu. His impersonation of a well-known sports commentator during a serious political debate also stunned other lawmakers into silence.
"Dancing is another kind of political message to appeal to the younger generation, that it is good to have fun ... that you can go to a disco and dance," Talmacean told The Associated Press on Monday.
Party bosses, however, say enough is enough and have ordered him to tone down.
Prime Minister Emil Boc declared the routine was more suited to "showbiz" than politics, while Vasile Blaga of the Democratic Liberal Party said the fringe lawmaker should head over to "Dancing with the Stars."
Despite the official disapproval, Talmacean is trending big time, gossiped about in coffee bars and hairdressing shops. Traffic to his political blog has soared, boosting it from 49th most viewed to the seventh in just two weeks.
"I think he expressed the way he felt which is good," said Valentina Tudor, 25, a sandwich vendor in Bucharest , the capital. "It's not as if he stole or did something bad. He is talented. I can't imagine (President) Basescu doing the moonwalk."
In Romania , the home of Dracula and other occult traditions, politics are renowned for being occasionally off-the-wall. President Traian Basescu and his aides have been known to wear purple on certain days to ward off evil.
Politician Mircea Geoana claimed that he lost the 2009 presidential race because Basescu hired a parapsychologist to launch a "negative energy attack" on him during a key debate.
Basescu has also appeared dancing with his wife or jiving with Gypsies — but his moves are far from Internet gold.
Talmacean promised Monday to keep a low profile until party elections next month but says he has no regrets.
"I danced, I sang. These are the qualities of the Romanian people," he told the AP.
BISHKEK (Reuters) – Members of Kyrgyzstan's divided parliament slaughtered seven rams before their morning session on Thursday, in a sacrifice they hope will banish "evil spirits" disrupting their work.
But the fragile governing coalition has come under threat after weeks of bitter recriminations and disputes in parliament, leading a senior government member to resign temporarily.
"We decided to resort to popular customs, in order for this building not to see bloodshed anymore," member of parliament Myktybek Abdyldayev told Reuters after the rams were sacrificed on a green lawn in front of the government headquarters.
The ritual of making a sacrifice is widespread in the impoverished, predominantly Muslim nation of 5.4 million. It is practiced mainly during funerals and at solemn ceremonies of reconciliation.
"This is a popular ancient tradition, carried out in order to avoid a repeat of last year's tragic events and for peace and harmony to triumph," said parliamentarian Kurmanbek Osmonov.
But Ondorush Toktonasyrov, one of those who led last year's protests that toppled President Kurmanbek Bakiyev, scoffed at the ritual as "a sign of backward mentality."
"Deputies have no idea about parliamentary culture," he told Reuters. "This is an official building where the president works, and the parliament slaughters rams!"
VILNIUS (AFP) – A city in northern Lithuania has installed dozens of blue and violet balloons in its park's treetops in an attempt to fight crows which have plagued local residents, officials said Thursday.
Municipal authorities in Panevezys said they reacted after repeated complaints about the birds' raucous cawing, mess and even aggression in the city park.
"I heard from scientists that crows don't like the colour blue, and they also don't like any movement in the trees, so we installed around 25 balloons," city official Antanas Karalevicius told AFP.
Earlier measures -- including destroying nests and installing a bird-scaring acoustic system -- failed to do the try.
"We had to try something new," Karalevicius said.
Locals said battling the crows was a must.
"Their cawing is just terrible and they pollute so much. I think balloons are better than shooting," Andrius Zimaitis, who hails from the city, told AFP in the Lithuanian capital Vilnius .
While the effect of the new weapon remains to be seen, Karalevicius insisted he had already noticed some "confusion" among crows on the first day of the experiment.
The helium-filled balloons should stay floating in the trees for at least 10 days, he said.
AMMON, Idaho – Stop me if you've heard this one: A goat walks into a music store.
It sounds like the start of a bad joke, but that's exactly what happened at the Piano Gallery in the southeastern Idaho town of Ammon .
KIFI-TV reports
the goat followed a woman and her child into the store on Monday. Maybe it was looking for some sheeeet music.
Clerk Lorri Bridges says the goat was just adorable. The staff corralled it in a bathroom until animal control arrived.
The goat, whom staff dubbed Beethoven for its apparent love of music, is being held at the Idaho Falls Animal Shelter.
If it isn't claimed, apparently the store staff is already prepared to adopt it.
(That goat is lucky it didn’t walk into the Kyrgyzstan parliament.)
The disagreement came to a head on Monday evening as the families fired guns, used knives and attacked each other with batons, police in the Bavarian city of Regensburg said.
Three people from each family were injured, including a 48-year-old man who was shot in the leg. None were seriously injured, police said.
I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face and The Whale:
Have you heard about the movie “Rubber”? It’s a certain soon to be cult classic film about a tire that kills people.
Something to Think About! (Clip 12)
1. Has anyone ever gotten a bloody nose or a cough in a movie and not died within three scenes?
2. Top Bun is thick, bottom bun is thin – It should be reversed.
3. Why aren’t comic books funny?
4. Toilet Paper: Crumple or Fold?
5. Best thing a waiter can do is fawn over your choice of meal when you order. I don’t even care if it’s shtick…I always love it.
6. Jedi Mortician – Even more useless than the Maytag Repair Man
7. The Whig party – The Ryan is starting the Beaver Party
The Top 7 Planks of the Whig Platform:
1. Sales tax will be included.
2. No Self Titled Albums – Musicians are creative people, they must name their stuff.
3. No more Changing back and forth on Daylight Savings
4. The United States will be represented in all foreign relations with dignitaries who speak like Pirates.
5. No more Tyler Perry movies
6. Marijuana will be legal, but in order to smoke it, you will have to wear a clown nose.
7. Focus science on working on memory loss technology to help retrieve great ideas, because as I was driving home from the mall today, I had the GREATEST IDEA OF ALL TIME, it would revitalize the world, feed the hungry, stimulate the economy, increase our technological ability, and create world peace. Unfortunately, I forgot it before I got home. So by focusing our technology on retrieving lost memories, we can retrieve this idea and save the world.
Shalom Sesame – Clip
Most know that the Hebrew word shalom is understood around the world to mean "peace." However, "peace" is only one small part of the meaning of shalom. "Shalom" is used to both greet people and to bid them farewell, and it means much more than "peace, hello or goodbye"....
According to Strong's Concordance 7965 Shalom also means completeness, wholeness, health, peace, welfare, safety soundness, tranquility, prosperity, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord. Shalom comes from the root verb shalom meaning to be complete, perfect and full.
The Penis Museum:
ICELAND – In life, Pall Arason sought attention. In death, he is getting it: The 95-year-old Icelander's pickled penis will be the main attraction in one of his country's most bizarre museums.
Sigurdur Hjartarson, who runs the Phallological Museum in the tiny Icelandic fishing town of Husavik, said Arason's organ will help round out the unusual institution's extensive collection of phalluses from whales, seals, bears and other mammals.
Several people had pledged their penises over the years including an American, a Briton, and a German but Arason's was the first to be successfully donated, Hjartarson said.
"I have just been waiting for this guy for 15 years," he told The Associated Press in a brief telephone interview.
Hjartarson's museum started in Reykjavik but has since moved to Husavik, a small community better known for its whale watching. The Phallological Museum is an important part of the region's tourist industry, bringing in thousands of visitors every summer.
Highlights of the museum's collection include a 170-centimeter (67-inch) sperm whale penis preserved in formaldehyde, lampshades made from bull testicles and what the museum described as an "unusually big" penis bone from a Canadian walrus.
Hjartarson, 69, said his interest in what he calls "phallology" began when, as a youngster in rural Iceland, he was given a whip made from a bull's penis to help him herd cattle. Later, when he worked at a school near a whaling station, colleagues brought him whale penises as gifts.
"That was how it started. I opened this museum 15 years ago with 62 specimens," he said. Now, with the addition of Arason's organ, he has 276, many suspended in formaldehyde or dried and mounted on the walls.
Photos posted to the museum's website show small army of ghostly, whitish penises stuffed into jars, tall glass cylinders and large aquariums. There are sculptures, molds and other penis-related craft items. Outside, the museum has a large tree trunk carved into the shape of an erect phallus.
Most items are donations from friends and well-wishers, people listed on the museum's website as "honorary members."
Arason was described by Hjartarson as a former tourism worker who died Jan. 5 in the nearby town of Akureyri. Thorvaldur Ingvarsson, the medical director of Akureyri's hospital, didn't give a cause of death but said the specimen was removed from the body under the supervision of a doctor.
The phallus was officially installed in a ceremony last week, Hjartarson said, adding that he saw nothing wrong with the idea of having someone donate their penis to be shown off to the public.
"People are always donating some organ after they died," he said. "It's no more remarkable to donate a penis than it is to donate an organ like a kidney."
Hjartarson said the donation fit with Arason's personality.
"He liked to be in the limelight, you know? He was a funny guy," he said. "He was a boaster, a braggart ... he liked to be provocative."
But the museum director was coy when asked about the size of his newest acquisition.
"I can't tell you that," Hjartarson said. "You will just have to come and see it."
Sigurdur Hjartarson, who runs the Phallological Museum in the tiny Icelandic fishing town of Husavik, said Arason's organ will help round out the unusual institution's extensive collection of phalluses from whales, seals, bears and other mammals.
Several people had pledged their penises over the years including an American, a Briton, and a German but Arason's was the first to be successfully donated, Hjartarson said.
"I have just been waiting for this guy for 15 years," he told The Associated Press in a brief telephone interview.
Hjartarson's museum started in Reykjavik but has since moved to Husavik, a small community better known for its whale watching. The Phallological Museum is an important part of the region's tourist industry, bringing in thousands of visitors every summer.
Highlights of the museum's collection include a 170-centimeter (67-inch) sperm whale penis preserved in formaldehyde, lampshades made from bull testicles and what the museum described as an "unusually big" penis bone from a Canadian walrus.
Hjartarson, 69, said his interest in what he calls "phallology" began when, as a youngster in rural Iceland, he was given a whip made from a bull's penis to help him herd cattle. Later, when he worked at a school near a whaling station, colleagues brought him whale penises as gifts.
"That was how it started. I opened this museum 15 years ago with 62 specimens," he said. Now, with the addition of Arason's organ, he has 276, many suspended in formaldehyde or dried and mounted on the walls.
Photos posted to the museum's website show small army of ghostly, whitish penises stuffed into jars, tall glass cylinders and large aquariums. There are sculptures, molds and other penis-related craft items. Outside, the museum has a large tree trunk carved into the shape of an erect phallus.
Most items are donations from friends and well-wishers, people listed on the museum's website as "honorary members."
Arason was described by Hjartarson as a former tourism worker who died Jan. 5 in the nearby town of Akureyri. Thorvaldur Ingvarsson, the medical director of Akureyri's hospital, didn't give a cause of death but said the specimen was removed from the body under the supervision of a doctor.
The phallus was officially installed in a ceremony last week, Hjartarson said, adding that he saw nothing wrong with the idea of having someone donate their penis to be shown off to the public.
"People are always donating some organ after they died," he said. "It's no more remarkable to donate a penis than it is to donate an organ like a kidney."
Hjartarson said the donation fit with Arason's personality.
"He liked to be in the limelight, you know? He was a funny guy," he said. "He was a boaster, a braggart ... he liked to be provocative."
But the museum director was coy when asked about the size of his newest acquisition.
"I can't tell you that," Hjartarson said. "You will just have to come and see it."
Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
The Head and the Heart – “Down in the Valley” (Album – self-titled)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
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