Show Prep 101

Greetings and Salutations, people!  

VSR and Fake Radio are brought to you by Amazon.com.

Thanks to Lance Miller – a.k.a. Lonely End of the Rink: Sent me a Tim Tebow McFarlane figure and a Sandis Ozolinsh Starting Lineup Figure as my prize for winning the 2009 Shek Republic Fantasy Football League a couple of weeks ago.

Tweet of the Week:

JennyJohnsonHi5 Jenny Johnson 

Kirstie Alley originally said she was "too chicken" to be on Dancing With The Stars, I think it was because she was "too elephant".

Today on VSR – We’ve got an new edition of Something to think about, we have a game show from the genius mind of Jerry Fairish, we’ll get a musical lesson in some of the finer points of grammar, and another meeting of the He-Man Movie Watchers Club as we discuss Shutter Island.

Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1

To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com

Voice Mail – 720-CUB-1-ACE

Twitter: @socnorb777

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

BENNINGTON, Vt. – A Vermont neighborhood is being stalked by a renegade gray squirrel.

Several people in Bennington say they've been attacked by a squirrel over the last few weeks.

Kevin McDonald tells the Bennington Banner he was shoveling snow when the squirrel jumped onto him. He says he threw the animal off, but it twice jumped back onto him. A game warden says there have been other reports, too.

One woman is being treated for exposure to rabies, but Vermont Public Health Veterinarian Robert Johnson says there's never been a case of a squirrel passing rabies to a human.

Johnson says it's possible the squirrel was raised as a pet and lost its fear of humans. He says the squirrel might "go ballistic" when it encounters people it doesn't recognize.

SCOTTDALE, Pa. – A western Pennsylvania man denies he was outside running around pretending to be a ninja, but acknowledges he did leave his 4-year-old son home alone sleeping while he went jogging earlier this month.

Twenty-eight-year-old Ross Hurst remains in the Westmoreland County Prison after his preliminary hearing on a child endangerment charge was postponed Wednesday. Outside the courtroom, Hurst told reporters that he wasn't pretending to be a ninja when Scottdale police charged him March 3 at about 1:30 a.m.

Hurst says he simply "went for a jog" — but acknowledges he shouldn't have left his son alone.

But police insist Hurst was dressed all in black and "playing ninja" when they confronted him. They say Hurst claimed his mother was babysitting, but she told police she wasn't.

CONWAY, Massachusetts (Reuters Life!) – Chronically tardy and truant students at a Massachusetts high school are getting a rude awakening -- a pre-recorded morning wake-up call from their school principal.

The so-called "robo-calls" that began on Wednesday are aimed at rousting about 500 students, the worst-offending sleepyheads, from bed and getting them to school on time.

Robo-calls are typically used by the school to notify parents of weather-related school delays and cancellations.

However, Durfee High School, located about 46 miles south of Boston, will be using the robo-calls for another reason soon.

20 percent of the student body will soon begin receiving routine phone calls to their home an hour and a half before the school day's first class begins at 7:45 a.m.

"It's 6:15 and it's Durfee High School calling," booms automated the voice of Principal Paul Marshall of Durfee High School in Fall River

Administrators hope the effort will boost attendance from 88 percent now to at least 95 percent.

"Historically, we have battled attendance problems. We are an urban district and our attendance has always been a concern,"  stated a school official about the new policy.

The school is implementing the calls after failing to improve attendance with punishments like detention or enforced study hours at school.

PHOENIX – Our final story shows that Twilight mania has officially gone too far, and that just when you think people can’t get any weirder, they do.

An Arizona man has been sentenced to three years of probation for stabbing a man who refused to let him suck his blood.

Maricopa County Superior Court says 24-year-old Aaron Homer, of Chandler, pleaded guilty to aggravated assault and was sentenced Monday.

25-year-old Robert Maley once let his roommates suck his blood. But when Maley refused to let Homer suck his blood a second time on Oct. 4, Homer stabbed him.

Chandler police said Maley lived with Homer and his girlfriend.

Best line of the whole story:

Maley said the two men were into "vampire stuff."

I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Bring on Face and The Whale:

What if the NFL Players just created their own league?

Dear Broncos Fan:

You have every right to be disappointed and frustrated with the lack of a Collective Bargaining Agreement that would ensure the health of the National Football League for the 2011 season and beyond. As owner of the Denver Broncos and co-chair of the NFL Management Council Executive Committee, I want to say that I share your level of frustration.

I am sorry the negotiating efforts have yet to yield a new deal.

Although we had expected to reach an agreement by this point, I assure you that we are committed to this process. We have a shared responsibility to resolve this matter as soon as possible in a way that benefits teams, players, and most importantly, the fans. The fastest way to a fair agreement for everyone is for both the clubs and union to continue negotiation through mediation, not litigation, and we are eager to return to the bargaining table.

We will come to an agreement, and when a new deal is reached, the Denver Broncos will be ready to play.

John Elway, John Fox and Brian Xanders, along with the rest of our coaching and personnel staffs, continue to work hard in advance of the NFL Draft and the season. They are committed to building a championship team that will make you proud. We are making progress every day, and I am excited with the direction of our team.

Along with everyone in this organization, I care greatly about our players and am hopeful that the union resumes negotiations as soon as possible. It is unfortunate that this matter has taken the focus away from the game that we love. However, I am confident that this process will result in a long-term agreement that ensures the growth of the game well into the future.

I sincerely appreciate all of the support, patience and trust you have shown in the Denver Broncos. We will keep you updated and communicate regularly while maintaining an unwavering commitment to a resolution.

Yours truly,

Pat Bowlen
Owner, Denver Broncos Football Club

The NCAA tournament is the Emperor’s New Clothes. – It’s just not that good anymore.

Lady Gaga is threatening to sue the Icecreamist store in London that is serving up breastmilk ice cream called “Baby Gaga”

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day – John Belushi – Luck of the Irish (Clip 33)

Gilbert Gottfried – Fired as Aflac Duck. Did you know it was him?

Grammar Police in full effect on the Dameshek.com message board this week

(Strongbad Grammar Medley – Clip 32)

The strangest things get people angry on our message board. While people in the normal world get angry about politics or race relations, the three biggest arguments I can remember from the board surrounded:

-IRC Chat

-Grammar discussion

-A dude who wrote in one thread like a cowboy

Storm-Troopers 9-11 (Clip 31)

Something to Think About! (Clip 12)

1. Is there anything better than a computer transcribing voice mails? –

-"Hey Craig, it's John. I does call me back with your. It's sexy result on the try to catch on your cell phone. Okay. Alright. Thanks. bye bye "

-

2. Prince Charming needs a first name. Tim?

3. Dead Coyote – Best thing ever for my son

·         What animal made it dead?

·         Maybe another coyote, or maybe it got sick and died, or maybe it froze to death.

·         Or maybe a Lion or a Tiger?

4. Who is buying from telephone solicitors? Someone has to be, or they wouldn’t be doing it anymore.

5. Someone walks into a glass door right in front of you. Laugh or no?

6. Zombie Intellectuals

(Clip 28 – Re: Your Brains – Jonathan Coulton)

7. (Courtesy of Aaron Young) When was the last time a parent had to yell at their kid to "TURN THAT RADIO DOWN!!!!!"? With everyone having I-Pods do kids even have radios in their rooms anymore?

8. Top Bun is thick, bottom bun is thin – It should be reversed.

Message Board kid or NASCAR guy?

Chris Slade, Aug 30 '08, 0
Johnny Markus, Mar 1 '10, 0
Dave Joseph, Aug 6 '09, 0
Douglas Davis, Aug 30 '10, 0
Jimmy James, Aug 27 '08, 1
Chris J. Ferraro, Oct 5 '10, 2
Mike McCalla, Mar 20 '08, 4
Nat Purcell, Feb 18 '09, 7
NotMikeDell, Sept 8 '09, 1  (I don't want to give away the ending, but it's not mikedell)  


NASCAR Kids...(Name, Car Number, Sponsor)

David Ragan, 6, UPS
Paul Menard, 27, MasterCraft
Mike Bliss, 36, Prism Motorsports
Dave Blaney, 66, A&W
AJ Allmendinger, 43, Best Buy
David Gilliand, 38, Taco Bell
Marco Ambrose, 9, Clorox
David Reutiman, 00, Aaron's

The Duel: Worst Caller in VSR history. (Clip 30 vs Clip 31)

My Desk:

Broncos Vertically Striped Socks Uniform Bobblehead

Earl Campbell McFarlane

Tim Tebow McFarlane

White Stallion Schleich

Wells Fargo Stage

Ninja

Lego Baywatch Lifeguard

Bumble the Abominable Snowman

Mr. Tickle

Six Koala Bears hugging pencils

Sharks Sandis Ozolinsh Starting Lineup figure

Admiral Ackbar Action Figure

Snoopy plush

Grover plush

9 Plush Sonic Fish Tater Tots

A company mug that has a Broncos flag and a Rockies flag

60’s Bronco logo sign

A hand painted Brown and Yellow vertically striped toilet paper roll

Mini Broncos Helmet

Stegosaurus

My wall:

An organizational flow chart with a cat in the hat sticker.

A reference chart with a dinosaur sticker on it

An alignment matrix chart with a Buzz Lightyear sticker on it

Plush Ninjatown Orange Ninja

Four photos from Chuckie Cheese (my kids)

Uniwatchblog.com membership card

Photo of me and my wife

Photo of me and my kids

A picture of Sesame Street characters that has Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Oscar, Bert, Ernie, Grover, and Elmo on it.

9 Pins – 2 Broncos, 3 Nuggets, One Rockies, Two Avalanche (one which is a turkey), and One Rapids

Denver Zoo Button

Past He-Man Movie Watcher’s Movies and their RT ratings:

Episode 82 – Rocky – 93%

Episode 83 - Die Hard – 94%

Episode 84 - The Sting – 91%

Episode 86 - D2: The Mighty Ducks – 15%

Episode 91 - Cool Hand Luke – 100%

Episode 94 - The Big Lebowski – 79%

Episode 97 - The Warriors – 94%

Episode 99 – Roxanne – 88%

Episode 101 – Shutter Island – 68%

He-Man Movie Watcher’s Club

Shutter Island (68% on Rotten Tomatoes)

Music – Obnoxiously Ominous

Mark Ruffalo’s character has a ton of trouble getting his gun off of his belt.

At the very beginning of the movie EVERYONE is watching Leo like a hawk.

Rachel Silando – The prisoner whom Leo is there to find – Has the same crimes as Leo’s wife (Killing 3 children by drowning)

Dr. Shean – It is Mark Ruffalo’s character. Only he is playing the part of Leo’s partner, so when Leo asks if a Doctor was present, the nurse gets uncomfortable, and they show Mark Ruffalo who also looks a bit tense. They can’t accurately describe for Leo why Dr. Shean isn’t there, since he is actually his partner.

1^st patient Leo interviews – Mentions Rachel Silando drowning her kids, makes Leo feel headache pain, he winces and grabs the arch of his nose. Too close to home?

2^nd patent – Mrs. Kerns – Writes “Run” when Mark Ruffalo leaves to get her a glass of water. Acts petrified of Leo when he asks about Andrew Laedis.

Leo gets a migraine, takes pills, sees Rachel Silando along with a girl (his daughter we find out later) who says you should have saved me, you should have saved all of us.

Leo then sees Rachel Silando covered in blood with the three dead kids around her. She asks him to help her. Leo picks up the eldest girl and she says, “Am I dead” and Leo says Yes. Why didn’t you save me? She says. “I wanted to but by the time I got there, it was too late.” Then they show Leo helping Rachel put the kids into the lake. Showing that Leo feels guilt for not stopping his own wife before she killed their kids. Then he wakes with a start and a vision of his own wife comes in and says Laedis isn’t dead, you need to find him and kill him dead. Is this his real identity trying to break out from behind Teddy (his false ID)?

What is going on with the Warden? Drives Leo back to the hospital after he sees the woman who claims that she was a former doctor who asked too many questions and got commited. The Warden talks about the gift of violence and claims that he and Leo have known each other for centuries. He then asks Leo if he sunk his teeth into his eye, could Leo stop him before he blinded Leo? Weird.

When Leo shows up unexpectedly the patients are all afraid of him, and the orderlies tell them to “Stop looking at him.”

Withdrawal from Chlorpromazine (Brand name: Thorazine)

Thorazine Withdrawal Symptoms:

Thorazine withdrawal symptoms can include, but are not limited to:

Nausea

Vomiting

Diarrhea

Dizziness

Shakiness

Schizophrenia symptoms, such as hallucinations or delusions.

Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? – Egregious omission.

Toilet Paper: Crumple or Fold?

Zambia, Armenia, Nicaragua, and Romania – Getting Steelers Championship gear.

My donkey basketball experience.

Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:

Galway Girl – Steve Earle (Clip 80)

Shalom and Good Evening to you all!