Show Prep 86

Greetings and Salutations, people! -




Today on VSR –

Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1

To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
 

Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)


LAS CRUCES - A 44-year-old woman who allegedly ripped her daughter-in-law's nipple off during a drunken argument could be facing criminal charges, the 3rd Judicial District Attorney's Office confirmed Wednesday.
Las Cruces police officers responded to Memorial Medical Center on Sunday morning, when doctors were already in the process of reattaching the nipple to the 30-year-old victim's breast.
It's believed to be the first time a local victim has suffered a body part being torn from them, said Chief Deputy District Attorney Amy Orlando. The victim told officers she, her husband, his mother and one of her husband's friends had spent Saturday night drinking at an apartment in the 1000 block of Idaho Avenue, according to the police report. Sometime after 3 a.m., the victim's husband had started arguing with his mother, and because it was becoming "very intense," the victim went to stand in between the two to separate them.
When the victim began arguing with her 44-year-old mother-in-law, the older woman allegedly "grabbed (the victim's) right breast and began to squeeze and pull on her nipple." The victim yelled to stop, but her mother-in-law allegedly continued to pull until the younger woman began punching her in the face, according to the police report.
The victim then told police she threw her mother-in-law into the yard, but the older woman allegedly kicked in the back door and had to be physically removed again. It was when the victim was putting her mother-in-law's belongings in the yard that she felt fluid on her breast and realized there was blood on her shirt.
When she untucked her tank top, her nipple fell on the floor, she told police.
The victim put the nipple in a bag and, after several hours, decided she should go to the emergency room.
Police attempted to make contact with the mother-in-law - a convicted felon who spent two and a half years in prison for drug possession and being a habitual offender earlier in the decade - but were unable to immediately find her.

WHITEFISH BAY, Wis. (AP) -- A Wisconsin postal carrier says he simply wanted to cheer up a woman on his rounds who seemed "stressed out" when he decided to deliver mail in the buff. But upon further review, the worker told police that delivering mail while completely naked probably wasn't a good idea.

A police report says the 52-year-old man told the woman he would deliver the mail in the nude to her office in Whitefish Bay to make her laugh. The report says that on Dec. 4 he brought the mail wearing only a smile.

The mail carrier was arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior several days later. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel says the man admitted delivering the mail naked was a stupid thing to do.

SANTA ANA, Calif. (AP) -- A Festivus for the rest of us? A convicted drug dealer in California thinks so. He cited his adherence to the holiday celebrated on a famous episode of "Seinfeld" to get better meals at the Orange County jail.

The Orange County Register reported Monday that Malcolm Alarmo King disliked the salami meals served at the jail, so he used his devotion to Festivus as a reason to get kosher meals reserved for inmates with religious needs.

Keeping kosher is not one of the tenets of Festivus, which was depicted on "Seinfeld" as celebrated with the airing of grievances and the display of an aluminum pole.

Sheriff's spokesman Ryan Burris says King got salami-free meals for two months before the county got the order thrown out in court.

I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

Bring on Face and the Whale:
 
Face: Aaron sent me a package along with his No-Name CD
Whale- Reigning Douche of the Week on No Name

Week in Wankery:

Yellow Card:
-Woman who almost killed me backing up in the grocery story parking lot
-My waitress at Rock Bottom Brewery – Left halfway through taking our order…for like 10 minutes
-Oversensitive NFL Refs – I’m all for protecting players, I really am, but some of these penalties are getting ridiculous.

Man of the Match:

-My unknown friend in a Jeep – I was driving down Arapahoe Road on Thursday when this hero flashed his lights at me several times. I figured he may be trying to warm me of a speed trap, so I slowed down. I had been going 15 over the limit, but I slowed to the speed limit, and the motorcycle cop on the median just let me fly on by.

Red Card

Blogtalk Radio



 
Contender or Pretender:



Christmas Gift Guide:

Chocolate Covered Bacon

Snooki Bobblehead doll

Awkward Family Photos Book – AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

Hamburger Phone

Dog Mustache Toy – It’s a ball with a big fake mustache on the end

Universal TV remote…and bottle opener

Bed Bug Stuffed Animal – BedBugSupply.com

Banana Guard – Plastic Shield to place a banana in so that it doesn’t get bruised. Because everyone needs a place to put their banana.

LifeGem – Winner of Creepiest Gift of the Year – LifeGem.com – They take the carbon from the cremated ashes of your loved one, and make a diamond out of them for you to wear. Is it too hard to say goodbye to Aunt Mildred? Why not just make jewelry out of her?




http://shopping.yahoo.com/articles/yshoppingarticles/473/20-unusual-gifts-nobody-wants/
 

He-Man Movie Watchers Club
D2 - Mighty Ducks 2

-Emilo Estevez gets off the bus at the beginning of the movie and his North Stars hat covers his ears. IT COVERS HIS EARS. Dude doesn’t even know how to wear a hat.
-A bunch of mean street kids playing roller hockey?
-Team USA is comprised almost entirely of one Minnesota youth hockey league team, plus ridiculously stereotyped players from around the country, plus a girl goalie from Maine.
-Some company called Hendricks hockey wants to pay Gordon Bombay a gigantic contract to coach USA PeeWee hockey? (Clip 42)
-Gordon Bombay wins one peewee hockey championship and he’s on the level with Pat
-The Team USA youth hockey team gets it’s picture on a Wheaties box BEFORE it’s played a game (Clip 40)
-Charlie is upset because team USA wants to wear Red, White and Blue instead of Mighty Ducks colors. Punk thinks he can change the United States color scheme because he’s won a peewee championship.(Clip 41)
-Trinidad and Tobbago has a Junior Goodwill games hockey team? Really? And their uniforms are tye-dyed? REALLY?!? And despite the fact they are down 8-0, they rise up and cheer and dance on the ice to steel drums when they score one goal?
-Team USA Press conference. (Clip 45) Photos taken with “The Hendricks Bear” a dude in a cheap Polar Bear costume wearing sunglasses and yelling out things like, “Thank you, it’s good to be here!”, then the polar bear leaves and there are 2 questions, then the coach of Iceland makes a stupid threat.
-Gordon Bombay gets a palatial estate in Malibu for coaching the Team USA’s Junior Goodwill games hockey team?
-Random sunset on the beach with Gordon sadly skating on roller-blades montage.
-Gordon shows up late and to motivate the team he…blows a duck whistle?
-After the Germany game, the headline, “Flying V soars over Germany”
-Wayne Gretzky in the locker room? Egads
-It’s tough to look menacing when you’re deflating a beach ball. The Iceland coach who is supposed to be a mean tough guy that we hate looks ridiculous.

Iceland Final Game:
-Rather than making line changes, the coach puts players in one at a time?
-Apparently dumping a goalie is acceptable in the Jr. Goodwill Games as is charging the goalie and crashing into him
-2 minutes for...Roping? I can’t believe that the game action has a scene where one player lassos another.
-2nd Intermission: Gordon Bomboy calls goals points. (Clip 46)
-2nd Intermission: It’s apparently okay to change uniforms during the middle of a game, if for no other reason that it allows Disney to pimp their new NHL team’s logo and gear. Yikes (Clip 48)
-They actually run a play they call an Alley Oop
-Louis, the kid who can’t stop all movie long gets out in front for the longest breakaway in the history of hockey, skids to a stop and shoots a facefull of snow in the goalies face, and remarks how amazed he is that he stopped for three seconds, meanwhile the goalie is still stunned and NO ONE from the defense shows up.
-Someone during the time frame of a time out, the knucklepuck kid is able to change into Goldberg’s jersey, put on his pads, and pretend to be Goldberg without ANYONE noticing that he’s doing it. Then he is able to shoot the puck from behind center ice with “the knucklepuck” and score the game tying goal with NO TIME LEFT ON THE CLOCK. Perhaps the most insane portion of the entire insanely idiotic movie.
-No OT? Straight to a shootout?
-Bombay pulls Goldberg the goalie in a shootout for the last shooter for an ice cold Julie the Cat? Why not, I mean the only time we’ve seen her on the ice the entire movie is for two seconds where she gets into a fight and gets kicked out before ever actually playing, why not put her in to make the winning save? Plus, Bombay knows his move. It’s a triple deke, followed by a complete stop and a slapper from the point? Ugh, this movie knows nothing about hockey.
-The Credits roll over the team sitting around a campfire roasting marshmallows while they have the goofy looking kid with brillo pad hair (Ackerman?) sing the main lines and clearly have a studio choir singing the rest and slowly fade into Queen? Egad. (Clip 49)




Training methods:
-Tie the entire team together with a rope and have them learn how to skate together as a blob.
-Have the “Texas” character swing a lasso and try and to catch all the players with it on the ice.
-Learn how to do a line dance on the ice
-Rollerblading down the highway behind Gordon’s golf cart while doing Army chants.
-Skating wind sprints after losing 12-1 to Iceland
-Playing “Street” hockey and getting lessons in how to play tough hockey with a bunch of kids that would be playing basketball 100 times out of 100 if this were real life. (While “Whoop, there it is” plays in the background.)
-To teach Luis how to stop, Hans sets up a giant stack of soda cans for him to try to avoid, and instead he crashes into them.
-In the final practice before the finals they kick around a beach ball

Toilet Paper: Crumple or Fold?


Wells Fargo has an odd business plan: Just got my free iPod Shuffle, and I’ve on two separate occasions gotten 50 bucks from them just for opening a checking account.


Most annoying words survey:

Whatever you think about using grating words, at the end of the day it's actually better not to say whatever, if you know what I mean.

For the second consecutive year "whatever' topped a Marist poll as the most annoying word or phrase in the English language.

Nearly 39 percent of 1,020 Americans questioned in the survey deemed it the most irritating word, followed by "like" with 28 percent and the phrase "you know what I mean' at 15 percent.

"Perhaps these words are introduced through popular culture, for example movies ... so they catch on," said Mary Azzoli, of Marist. "It has a lot to do with how accepted and how popular they become in every day speech."

Azzoli said words like "whatever" can be quite dismissive depending on how they are used.

"It's the way they are delivered and inherent in that delivery is a meaning.

The phrase "to tell you the truth" and "actually" were also unnerving to many people. But for younger Americans, aged 18 to 29, "like" was the word that annoyed them most.
 
NEW YORK -- Tom Fenton was getting a haircut and planned to watch the Rangers game Thursday night from his couch. He got a better seat than that.

When Phoenix Coyotes No. 1 netminder Ilya Bryzgalov came down with the flu shortly before facing New York at Madison Square Garden, the team didn't have time to call up a goalie from the minors. Coyotes head of pro scouting Frank Effinger scoured the area for an amateur goalie and came up with Fenton, who lives in Purchase, N.Y., and coaches hockey at Manhattanville College. Effinger lives in the same area.

"My phone rang, I didn't pick it up," Fenton, 26, said, according to the Coyotes' website. "I eventually saw who it was so I picked it up after the haircut and called them right back. They basically said I have to get my butt down to MSG as soon as I can."

The Coyotes signed Fenton to an emergency contract and gave him jersey No. 35. He hadn't played since his senior year at American International College in Springfield, Mass., in 2009. He went 1-12-1 with a 3.60 goals-against average that season.

Fenton said he felt a little shaky when he took the ice for warmups, but he did make one observation.

"Good ice," Fenton cracked, according to the Coyotes site. "I wasn't expecting that, to be honest with you. It was great. This whole place was electric. I know we always say that cliche, but once you're out there, it's a totally different experience. Words can't really describe it."

Fenton spent the game -- a 4-3 Rangers' win in a shootout -- on the bench, but there was a point he thought he might get in.

"There was one point Barbs came across and made a pretty good save and he was kind of favoring his groin and I immediately started sweating on the bench," Fenton said, according to the Coyotes site.

"Goaltending's a little different. Just seeing these guys shoot in warmups was pretty spectacular. A lot of the guys can really wind up the puck. I don't know about [Marian] Gaborik coming down on me or anything like that."

Fenton was asked if he knew how much money he'd make for his NHL appearance.

"Oh, I don't know. I just signed the paper," Fenton said, according to the Coyotes site. "I don't care if there is anything involved there. Great story just to go home with for Christmas."

He did get one thing. The team let him keep his jersey. Oh, and another thing ... he can always say he was on an NHL team, if only for a night.


TSA – Our friends at the Transportation Security Administration: New scanning machines and procedures: I’m okay with them seeing me naked (That is it’s own punishment for TSA) and the tiny bit of radiation doesn’t bother me, but the idea of them doing intensive frisking (groin area) makes me queasy. (Clip 53 – Dave Barry vs TSA)

Super Mario Brothers Music Tournament
5 Seed RC Car advances against the 4 Seed Beatboxer Poizunus

5 Seed vs. 8 Seed: RC Car vs. Accordion for the first spot in the finals.


Dick Van Dyke singing Dick Van Dyke show theme: (Clip 79)


Are you uncomfortable entering Wal-Mart? We have a greeter at my local Wal-Mart who makes me super deluxe uncomfortable when I walk in.

On Average, Right handed people live nine years longer than lefties.


The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:

Thanks to: (Whoever called)


Shalom and Good Evening to you all!


(Clip 50) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.

Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.

6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.

5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.

3. Hamburglar

2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.

1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.

Why do we have new pennies? – The new Lincoln pennies celebrating the life of our 16th president.

Coins are getting dumb:
Penny – Worth 1 cent, costs almost 2 cents to make
Nickel – Worth 5 cents, costs 7.7 cents to make
Now we are minting NEW Lincoln pennies? Why? I get it’s to honor Lincoln, but seriously, pennies?

In fact, penny melting is becoming popular, and a regular cottage industry of melting down pennies to sell the copper and zinc (97.5% Zinc 2.5% copper) has arisen due to the fact that the pennies are worth more melted than as money. The government has actually had to make it a crime to melt pennies, and if you’re caught doing so, you can be imprisoned for as much a five years for the crime.