Show Prep #38

Greetings and Salutations, people. This is the radio show that has been described by The Ed as a better Howard Cosell mixed with Rosie O’Donnell and the radio home of the future NHL 94 tournament champion, this is Vertically Striped Radio and I’d just like to take this moment to say, “Thanks Joe!” Anyhow, My name is Craig Dodge and before I go any further today, I really need to do this: (Play Clip 18 – Luke/U2 Saints)

What it do! Man, that felt good. I haven’t enjoyed a Super Bowl result that much since the Buccaneers thumped the Raiders and started Oakland on its long decline into crapulence. It’s not that I have anything against the Colts, I find Peyton Manning and company to be somewhat likable, it’s just that I really was happy for Drew Brees and his cute little son (seriously, how cute was that little kid?), and I really like Sean Payton as a coach, and I’m happy that the Favre vanquishers were able to go on to a championship, and it was fun to see the whole city of New Orleans exuberantly happy, and it just was a fun game with a surprising result where the underdog flexed it’s muscle and won. Great game, although I feel bad for Peyton Manning as the whole ESPN machine is now questioning how good he is, which is ridiculous. Manning is still among the best to ever play the position. Let’s not get silly with this stuff. However, he is not the champ. That honor falls to Drew Brees and his band of Saints. I’m sad that it wasn’t the Broncos, naturally…especially since that Super Bowl logo would have been PERFECT with the Broncos uniforms, but if it couldn’t be my boys, I’m glad it was New Orleans. I salute you, Saints.

The Super Bowl may have gone my way, but not all is well in my Vertically Striped world. This week was my first week in the new office building, which isn’t that big a deal except that it is a much longer walk from the train to my new office than it was to the old office, so that’s something I can complain about. Plus my cubical is both much smaller, and much nearer to the restrooms. Actually, that hasn’t been too big of a problem either, except for the fact that on Monday I was so discombobulated that as I was entering the Men’s room, I held the door open for a co-worker to enter first…the only problem is that this co-worker was very much female. She gave me a goofy look and laughed at me, and I sheepishly entered to do my business without her entering first. Yup, I’m an idiot. Oh well, at least I’m a polite idiot, right?

Anywho, I’m sad to report that I’m still coming to you live from my desktop which is currently the only computer in my house at the moment. The laptop is at my brother’s house to be fixed. In fact, He is somewhat of a computer genius, although if he is as reliable a computer repair man as he is a co-host, I may never see my laptop again. Ah well, can’t beat his price of free. (Quick aside here…Biggest Loser – You are what you watch) Since the laptop is on the fritz, and most of my best sound clips are on it, I had to put a little more effort into producing the show today. I’m sure you’re going to notice the extra TLC!


Anyway, Today on the prestigious Vertically Striped Radio program: I will crown the Vertically Striped Super Bowl Commercial Champion. We’ve got a big surprise for a very specific listener in store which coincides with a look back at a famous broadcaster from the past, we’ll check in to see how the NHL 94 tourney is developing. We’ll hopefully get to the weird Magnificent 7 list that I promised last week but never got to because Ed was on a roll, and of course our usual grab bag of news and comment and music recommendations are also on tap. If you’d like to participate on the big show today, you can do so…


Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Chatroom: DAMNradio.blogspot.com


Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)

NEW CASTLE, Del. – Police responding to a report of a suspicious man carrying a gun instead found two legs sticking out of a homemade igloo. New Castle County police said the legs belong to Delaware teen who was arrested Wednesday after he was found to be carrying a survival knife, a hammer, 7.5 grams of marijuana and two bongs.
County police spokesman Senior Cpl. Trinidad Navarro said the teen was released to his parents. Police said he was charged with carrying a concealed deadly weapon, carrying a concealed deadly instrument, possession of drug paraphernalia and possession of marijuana.

EL PASO, Texas – The U.S. Border Patrol says agents found a stash of marijuana coming across the border in El Paso in an unusual spot: tucked behind a framed portrait of Jesus. A Border Patrol statement issued Wednesday said the bust was made just before 3 p.m. Tuesday at the Bridge of the Americas in El Paso. A 22-year-old Mexican woman arrived at the port of entry from Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, in a sport-utility vehicle. According to the statement, she told agents that she had nothing to declare but some framed art.
Cesar the drug-sniffing dog found otherwise. He was drawn to three framed pictures of Jesus Christ in the SUV. Agents found 30 bundles totalling about 31 pounds behind the backing of the three pictures.

LILBURN, Ga. – Police in Georgia say a 23-year-old man grabbed a baseball bat inside of a Wal-Mart and smashed 29 flat-screen televisions. Police in Lilburn near Atlanta have charged Westley Strellis with 29 counts of criminal damage to property in the second degree. Witnesses tell police he grabbed a metal baseball bat from the sporting goods section Wednesday, walked to the electronics department and destroyed the TVs on display.
He was arrested not long after that.
Police say the televisions are valued at over $22,000. Police say they do not know whether Strellis has an attorney. (However, the guy makes contact, so the Pirates are said to be interested.)

NEW YORK – A Brooklyn woman said a mugger stole a doggie coat right off the back of her mild-mannered terrier. Donna McPherson said she tied up Lexie, her 10-year-old Westie, outside a Park Slope supermarket "for two minutes" while she bought milk. She heard a "funny bark." When McPherson went outside, she found the little white dog shivering. His green wool coat, with leather trim and belt, were nowhere in sight.
McPherson said the dog coat was worth $25. She said that, fortunately, Lexie wasn't wearing his pricier Burberry.

I’m Craig, and that’s the news…(Play News Music – Clip 03)





Before we start with our main topic, we have a special long distance dedication.

Casey Kasem –For the audience that doesn’t remember Casey. (Clip of Casey Kasem discussing the tech breakthrough that is the CD player.– Clip 20)

Long Distance Dedication (Clip 21 of him saying Long Distance Dedication)
(Holly’s song for Josh – Clip 19)



MAIN TOPICS:


Super Bowl Commercials:
-Motorola: Megan Fox in a tub (thumb double)
-Coke – Simpsons commercial (Didn’t work because what makes The Simpsons great is cynicism, and the Coke commercial was a feel good one.)
-Bridgestone – Whale in car bachelor party – STUPID and Ineffective
-Doritos – Dumb but effective – Kid smacks the guy who is there for his momma, The guy at the Gym who acts like a Doritos Ninja and the Casket guy
-Punxsutawney Polamalu - Creepy
-Etrade – If the 1st baby is too old, so is your campaign. Time for something new.
-Snickers – You’re playing like Betty White
-Budweiser Bridge
-(3rd best commercial) Letterman, Oprah and Leno – Tonight show
-(2nd best commercial) Dodge Charger – (Clip 22)
-(Best commercial) Google – Great commercial – All about France – Guy finds a park, meets a French girl, they like each other, he thinks about doing a long distance relationship with her, but instead finds a job in Paris, he finds a church for their wedding, and the final search is how to put together a crib. GREAT commercial and the only visuals are the Google box along with a few sound effects and some piano music. Not sure why Google needs to advertise, but that commercial was amazing.

Olympics:
-Hockey (Not quite as prestigious as the NHL 94 tourney)
-NBC Sucks – they have ruined the Olympics
-My Curling story
-How great is the medal stand ceremony?
-Is it okay to watch figure skating?
-Is it weird that we go four years not caring about skiing at all, and then we suddenly do care?

Sports Bigamy – “The Dude” on Dameshek.com says that he is an Eagles AND Jaguars fan. (See if the dude wants to come on to talk)


Magnificent 7: (Play Clip 7 - Magnificent 7 Music) Every few months I get this email sent to me:

From time to time, members of the news media may attempt to contact you directly to obtain information on “The Corporation’s” operations, a recently announced acquisition, joint venture, new product, pending litigation, or other matter. We would like to remind you that our company policy states:

"In the event of contact from the media, it is imperative that you refer all questions and concerns in regard to a response from “The Corporation” to Corporate Communications at (Phone number redacted). Employees, managers, and supervisors should not respond to the press. Failure to comply with this policy could result in disciplinary action.

In addition, if you speak at public events, it is possible that reporters could be in attendance looking for comments to incorporate into their stories. Please keep this in mind and exercise caution when preparing your remarks or answering questions in a public forum."

Your assistance in directing media calls to our public relations department or emailing us at (email redacted) is much appreciated.

Thank you,
Corporate Communications


Seven emails that my company could distribute to it’s workers that would be weirder than not asking me to grant media requests. (Get “You’ve got mail” Clip)

7. You may from time to time receive requests to participate in Wrestlemania tag team events. We ask that you decline any request to participate in a steel cage match, even if the promotion promises that you will be paired with the Hulkster himself. The Corporation also asks that you refrain from screaming, “Oh Yeah!” (Find Randy Macho Man Savage Clip) during normal business hours.

6. You may from time to time be asked to participate in large game hunts. If you are asked to participate in such activities, we ask that be sure to consult the attached endangered species list. It is YOUR responsibility to make sure that no species goes extinct as a result of your business activities. Any action which results in the death of a White Rhino is grounds for immediate termination.

5. If you receive a request to run a 100 meter match race with Usain Bolt, management requests that you first gain permission from your direct supervisor to participate before agreeing to the race, as the corporation would like to make sure that your Olympic style running will not interfere with regularly schedule duties nor bring undue embarrassment to the Corporation.

4. From time to time, satanic cults may request to use your cubicle for a ritual human sacrifice. The corporation has a strict non-cultic murder stance, and all requests to use company resources in schemes to serve Lucifer’s armies must be immediately denied and we request that you immediately make your supervisor aware so that appropriate action can be taken against the offending parties.

3. The Corporation would like to remind you that its policies forbid you from impersonating Bob Ross in your work environment. Any reference made to co-workers suggesting that their work would benefit from more “Happy Trees” is cause for suspension and potential termination. Outrageous fuzzy afro haircuts are not forbidden, but are strongly discouraged.

2. The Corporation reminds you that at no time are you allowed to secede from the United States and declare your work area as it’s own sovereign state. In the past when this was allowed, it caused severe diplomatic strain on the Corporations relations with the Federal government. The Corporation wants to avoid a repeat of the bloody war that was waged in 1996 with Cubicle-i-stan.

1. The Corporation would like you to note that you are not a wombat. Australian Marsupial type behavior will not be tolerated. All workers are expected to carry themselves and represent the Corporation in a human manner at all times.



NHL ’94 Tournament – Tourney Check in
-Standings on DAMNradio.blogspot.com



The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
The Samples Album – “No Room” - Song – “Did you ever look so nice” (1992) (Clip 23)




Thanks to: (Whoever called, and to Joe, Thanks Joe.)


Shalom and Good Evening to you all!



Extra or future stuff:
Ashley Revell - (born 1972) is a London resident who briefly achieved fame for selling all his possessions (including all his clothes) and gambling US$135,300 on a single spin of a roulette wheel in Las Vegas, Nevada in 2004.
Revell won his bet (on Red; the result was 7 Red) and left with $270,600. The event was filmed by Sky One as a reality mini-series. Ashley used his winnings to set up his own online poker company called POKER UTD.

Who is the best opponent in Mike Tyson’s punchout?

Imelda Marcos:

Who says pot ah to? I’d call the whole thing off too, but just because I wouldn’t want to marry a moron.

Pants on the Ground




Movie reviews: “Avatar”, “The Road” and “The Princess and The Frog”

-Avatar
-The Road
-The Princess and the Frog
Defend Movies:
-Almost Famous
-The Shawshank Redemption
-Fight Club

Magnificent 7: Seven things people driving around me need to stop doing.

1. Stopping at a flashing yellow.
2. Stopping at a continuous turn lane.
3. Driving the speed limit or slower in the left lane.
4. Getting over into my lane directly in front of me and then slowing down.
5. Three Words: No turn signal
6. Braking for no logical reason
7. Not pulling into the intersection to turn left when the light is green but you don’t have a green arrow.




Magnificent 7: NFL Rules to change:

1. You can’t advance a muff.
2. The Tuck Rule
3. You can’t return a blocked extra point for two points
4. You need 2 feet in bounds for it to be a catch.
5. Overtime – First score wins. (Don’t go to college. Either make it a full 10 or 15 minutes, make it where you have to score 6, or both teams get a possession.)
6. You only get 2 challenges unless you get them both right
7. Pass interference is a spot foul