Show Prep #8

Greetings and Salutations, people. This is Vertically Striped Radio brought to you by VerticallyStripedSocks.com. It’s Awards Saturday, and you can cut the tension with a toothpick. I’m a bit groggy this afternoon after spending last night at Coors Field, we got into a rain delay at the beginning of the 7th inning which lasted about an hour, and then we had to sit through an injury delay as pitcher Alan Embree was carted off the field after having his leg broken by a screaming line drive. Then I didn’t get home until almost midnight at which time I sat down and put the finishing touches on the show prep for today’s show. I press on for you, my loyal audience! (Well, plus I was able to sleep in today, so I got almost eight hours of sleep, so it’s not like I’m sleep deprived or anything.)


If you’d like to join in on today’s silliness, which I highly encourage, the number is…
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 –
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com

Today on Vertically Striped Radio: The Vertically Striped Academy of Arts, Sciences, and other Neato Stuff will be presenting their Annual Awards, “The Sockies”, The strangest fireworks show I’ve ever experienced, we will honor a hockey legend, a low speed tractor chase, the Magnificent 7 reasons that the 80’s are overrated, plus your calls if you are bold and courageous and have phone service…


(Prep Clip 08 – for the Sockie Awards)
Now, the time has come to unveil the winners in the inaugural Vertically Striped Awards for Excellence in the Field of Excellence. Ladies and Gentlemen, VerticallyStripedSocks.com is proud to present, “the Sockies.”
(Play Clip 08 of Ralph singing the 21st Century Fox song)
The Sockies:
1. Best Holiday – The nominees are: Independence Day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Flag Day, and New Years Eve. And the winner is… Thanksgiving
2. Best Color – The nominees are: Orange, Brown, Green, Blue, and Purple And the winner is… Brown
3. Sports Team of the Year – The nominees are: the Denver Nuggets, the Pittsburgh Penguins, the Tampa Bay Rays, the Arizona Cardinals, and the Chicago Blackhawks And the winner is… Pittsburgh Penguins

4. Best Picture…that Craig has actually seen this year – The nominees are: Up, The Hangover, Earth, Star Trek, and Slumdog Millionaire. And the winner is… Up

5. Website of the Year – The nominees are: lcshockey.com, dameshek.com (The Dave Dameshek Message Board), CentSports.com, Twitter.com, theedssuperdeluxewebsite.com (VerticallyStripedSocks.com recused itself, seeing as how it’s hosting the awards, it wouldn’t be fair to win it too) And the winner is…(Play Clip 10) LCSHockey.com

6. Sports Idiot of the Year – The nominees are: Brett Favre, Manny Ramierez, Josh McDaniels, Marion Hossa, and Plaxico Burress And the winner is: Plaxico Burress

7. The People’s Choice Sockie - Best Dameshek Amalgamated Messageboard Network Radio Show (A poll will be put up on Dameshek.com, the winner of the poll wins the award) – The nominees are: The No Name Show with Aaron a.k.a. Bonaduce Sux, the Barnstable Broadcast with Scottie Perkins, Vertically Striped Radio with Craig and sometimes Bruce Dodge BlogTalkRadio, Elevation Radio with John Kline on BlogTalk, The LCS Hockey Show with Jerry Fairish and Mike Dell on BlogTalk, Dameshek on Demand 710ESPN.com, and The Ed Show with Ed Miller. And the winner is…(Play Clip 09) The Ed Show
One more award to give out. The Sockie lifetime achievement award is presented to a prince of a man. Here to introduce him, the voice of the great Mike Haynes. (Play Clip 11) -Joe Sakic – Greatest moments: 18 goals in the 1996 Cup Run, handing the Cup off to Ray Bourque in 2001, worst quote in the history of sports, great guy. Doug met him in K-Mart, couldn’t have been nicer. He just turned 40 on Tuesday. Little known fact: although Joe was raised in British Columbia, when he grew up, the only language he spoke until age 6 was Croatian. In Croatian his name means champion, which is appropriate. He had the quickest wrist shot I have ever seen, and has been a rock for my favorite team for the whole time I have been a fan. He will be missed. Here is one of his GREATEST moments from November 30, 1999 (Play Clip 12) That was great, because it was so unlike him, and yet so like him. He NEVER fought. That fight and one in Quebec were the only two in his career. Yet, despite the fact that he never dropped the gloves, when he did it, he did it right and annihilated Dougie Gilmour. Here were what some prominent people said about Joe this week

"Great leader on the ice, even better person off the ice. Family man first, hockey and fans second. It's never about himself, always about the team. He's one of those few people that can make you feel better on and off the ice, whether its sports or with the community."
Paul Stastny, Avalanche center
"He's the type of person that, if you had a son or daughter that wants to play hockey, they should try to copy. But it's not just on the ice. I think what makes Joe Sakic so special (is) he gives back to the community and it's so natural for him."
Mike Haynes, Avalanche television play-by-play announcer
"Joe represents all that is good about not only the Avalanche organization, but professional sports in general. His leadership, sportsmanship and respect for the game of hockey are legendary."
Stan Kroenke, owner of the Avs
"Joe has been the best teammate you could possibly ask for."
Peter Forsberg, former teammate
"Joe Sakic is what a lot of guys should be like. He's a committed professional in his community. Every team in the league should be blessed to have a guy like Joe Sakic in their organization."
Pierre McGuire, TSN and NBC hockey television analyst
I’m sure Joe is overwhelmed to be receiving such a fantastic award, and although there is probably zero chance that he will ever actually, you know, hear about this one. I’d like to personally say thanks to him for introducing me to a great game and for being such a fantastic ambassador for hockey as well as providing a great example of how one should live as a professional athlete.

(Play Clip 08 of Ralph singing the 21st Century Fox song)


Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831
(Check the phone lines to see if you have any calls)
Topics to expound upon for discussion:
-Michael Jackson Memorial – (VSS Post) also odd…Ron Artest will wear number 37 in honor of the number of weeks the album thriller was at the top of the charts.
-Lebron James having video confiscated of him being dunked on by Jordan Crawford a sophomore at Xavier.

-Magnificent 7 list –ESPN has been doing a tribute to the 1980’s all week to correspond with the memorial of Michael Jackson, and I’ve had to endure talking head after talking head expound upon the greatness of the 80’s. To be sure, sports were pretty good in the 80’s with lots of fun football teams like the 85 Bears and the Celtics vs. Lakers rivalry at it’s height, and fast and crazy hockey led by the likes of Lemieux and Gretzky, and let’s not forget the drama of the 1985, 1986, and 1988 World Series. And a ton of great and fun movies were made in the 80’s. However, not all was peaches and honey in the decade, and to provide a bit of counter programming from the 80’s love overkill from the past week, here is my Magnificent 7 list of 7 Reasons that the 80’s are VASTLY overrated.
1. The Pop music in general – Not good – Yes, there was Michael Jackson, but for every great musician there was a crapload of stuff by “artists” (and I use the term loosely) like Bananarama, Flock of Seagulls, Duran Duran, Starship, or Hall and Oates. A horrible era stuck in the no mans land between the great rock and singer/songwriters of the 70’s and the glorious grunge era of the 90’s. I really think that musicians in the 80’s were legally required to include a synthesizer in all of their songs. The music in the 80’s was criminally overproduced. Subtlety died in the eighties where you musical choices were big, bigger, and Oh Dear Lord that’s humungous. Some people will tell you that music is a subjective thing, and that the music of the 80’s was good. Those people are wrong, with very few exceptions, music in the 80’s sucked.


2. The significant involvement of neon colors. – Everything was bright pink, yellow or green. Crazy non-linear patterns and bold to the point of obnoxious prints were the rage. Not good times for fashion.


3. Legwarmers. – This made exactly zero chicks look good, and yet they were everywhere in the 80’s

4. 80’s Hairstyles – Men – Mullets, Flock of Seagulls style hair, Box Cuts. Ugh. No guy looked right in the 80’s, but that is nothing compared to Women’s hairstyles. Hairspray caused hair to explode off women’s heads in unnatural and horrible ways OR the hot chicks would cut their hair super short and slick it back OR Feather their locks OR frizz their hair out on purpose and dye it crazy colors like pink, purple and red. Hair was beyond terrible in the 80’s. If anyone looked good back then, it was completely on accident.


5. AIDS – Pretty much got it’s start in the 80’s, and AIDS is pretty much like Hitler, no one will ever say anything nice about either.

6. Hair Bands. The controversy over Kurt Cobain’s death is very interesting, but thankfully he lived long enough to have his music and his spirit kill hair bands, even moreso than “Smells like Teen Spirit” Kurt’s greatest contributin may be that he sounded the death knell for 80’s glam rock. Between the guyliner, the ridiculous outfits, the loud horrible music, and the utter lack of talent, hair bands were the living embodiment of the 1980’s mantra of style over any substance.


7. A complete and total lack of social self awareness or cynicism of any kind by every person alive. It’s like everyone living in the 80’s was suffering from some sort of group mental retardation. There was zero sense of irony or shame, big and bombastic and almost goofily innocent was the decade of the 80’s. Perhaps we have gone too far in the opposite direction in modern times, and are overly snarky and cynical. Even the coolest guy from the 80’s would beaten up and have his lunch money stolen behind the school today. Anything was okay, and there was hardly any social consciousness. Greed was good, but so were short basketball shorts, obnoxiously patterned clothing, and goofy hairstyles. The movies, songs, and styles that were acceptable back then were flat out atrocious and taste didn’t matter one iota just so long as you were loud and proud. Being bombastic was all that was necessary to be big in the 80’s, and being talented or thoughtful or understated didn’t really matter. It was the most plastic and fake of any era I have ever seen. There was nothing real about the 80’s, and that is my biggest issue with them.

(Check the phone lines to see if you have any calls)
(Cue News Music – Clip 02)
It is now time for a news break…
(Play News Music - Clip 02)
1. LONDON (Reuters) – Would you like to make 80,000 dollars a year on a stress-free job with flexible working hours and no need to wear a suit?
Well, grab your black pointy hat, take out that rusty black cloak from the back of the closet and refresh your memory on how to turn your grumpy neighbor into a mouse. Somerset tourist attraction Wookey Hole caves is advertising for a "witch" and has already received 100 applicants since the beginning of the week.
Legend has it that the caves, near Wells, were home to the Wookey Witch who was turned to stone by the medieval Abbott of Glastonbury to rid villagers of her curse.
The vacancy has arisen because the previous incumbent has retired.
The successful candidate, who will be living in a "spacious" cave, has to cackle, not be allergic to cats and will be asked to perform a range of tasks including magic at an open audition scheduled for July 28.
But the appointee need not be scary.
"We want a friendly witch with a devilish element," said Gayle Pennington, marketing assistant at the caves said on Wednesday.
"We're a family attractions place so we don't want to frighten the children."
In keeping with modern times, the role is open to men, women and trans-gender witches to comply with sexual discrimination laws.


2. BERLIN (Reuters) – A drunk German sparked a slow-speed police chase after stealing a tractor to get home from a nightclub after his girlfriend left without him, said police, who used pepper spray to try to stop the vehicle.
"After his girlfriend abandoned him in a night club, the 23-year-old driver, who doesn't own a license, commandeered the vehicle to make his way home," a police spokesman said on Monday.
Six police cars began trailing the tractor, which was chugging along at 20 km (12 miles) an hour, after they were alerted to the theft at about 5 a.m. Saturday.
Officers tried holding up stop signs and directing pepper spray through the open window to bring the driver to a halt.
They then tried unsuccessfully to end his getaway by throwing nail belts on the road, but the tractor's tires proved too thick, said the police spokesman.
The 40-minute chase finally came to an end when officers shot at the tractor's tires after it rammed into a police car and collided with another vehicle.

3. TAMPA, Fla. – Authorities said a bullet from a gun that was accidentally dropped injured a Tampa woman sitting in a bathroom stall. Police said the bullet hit 53-year-old Janifer Bliss in the lower left leg. She was taken to a hospital with minor injuries.
Bliss was sitting on the toilet in a hotel bathroom when a woman in the next stall accidentally let her handgun slip out of her waist holster. The weapon discharged when it hit the ground.
Police said the gun belonged to a 56-year-old woman who has a concealed weapons permit.
The case has been referred to the State Attorney's Office to determine if any charges will be filed.
(Cue News Music)
I’m Craig, and that’s the news…
(Play News Music)
(Check the phone lines to see if you have any calls)

Last week I told you I would give you a report on my experience with the Major League Lacrosse. We got there late, but one quarter was enough to convince me that it is a terrible spectator sport. The craziest part of the whole evening was the fireworks show. Felt like we were under siege.



The Vertically Striped Radio Music recommendation of the week…
Evil Urges by My Morning Jacket (2008) – I defy anyone to accurately describe this album by My Morning Jacket in only a few words. At times on this record, they almost sound like a typical alt-country Bob Dylan cover band with a slight twist, other times they work the falsetto into a lather with songs that could best be describe as Prince on acid. Somehow the goofy stylistic range of this album works together to create an enjoyable listening experience. It may take three or four listens before you “get it” but it’s a rewarding experience that really should be explored further. From the highly goofy and fun “Highly Suspicious” (My favorite song on the album) to the radio friendly “I’m Amazed” to the poignant “Librarian” the range on this album is surpassed only by the joy of digging into each track. I really like this album, and it is the music recommendation for this week.

(Cue Outro Music)
Shalom and Good evening to you all!
(Play Outro Music)


Backup Material: If needed
Revisit best superhero power to have: I have done more soul-searching and determined that mind control would probably lead to me being an evil criminal, I am now throwing my support behind the power of teleportation.


Text messaging – The whole country is turning into morons. How hard is it to spell a whole word? We may be saving time by not typing out the Y and the O when we spell you, but the end result is that our methods of communication are devolving into a retarded stew of stupid.




Dameshek Amalgamated Message-board Network –
1. Dave Dameshek – Message Board at www.Dameshek.com and www.710espn.com
2. The Ed – www.theedssuperdeluxewebsite.com and www.blogtalkradio.com/lcs
3. LCS Boys - Mike Dell and Jerry Fairish – www.lcshockey.com and www.blogtalkradio.com/lcs
4. Barnstable Broadcast – www.blogtalkradio.com/umassjsp
5. Elevation Radio with John Klein – www.blogtalkradio.com/lordelevation
6. Microserf – www.wrecklessconjecture.blogspot.com
7. The No Name Show - www.blogtalkradio.com/No-Name-Show