Greetings and Salutations, people. This is Vertically Striped Radio…where if you don’t eat your meat, you don’t get any pudding. I mean seriously…How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?
Before we go any further in this outstanding entertainment program…a moment of silence is in order. We suffered a great loss this past week, the No Name Show closed it’s doors for good. The tough economic times have claimed another victim, and when even free internet podcasts are falling, you know we have hit hard times. Out of respect...let’s take a moment of silence to pause and reflect (Pause) The No Name Show with Aaron Young from up in Washington was a stalwart of the Dameshek Amalgamated Messageboard Network, and it’s passing is difficult. Just know that in this dark hour, Vertically Striped Radio is there for you. In all seriousness, though. I would like to say that I truly enjoyed Aaron’s work on the No Name Show, and while I understand he has his reasons for ending production, I hope that one day we will see it’s glorious return.
Also on DAMN radio this week, The LCS Hockey Show had a special Tuesday edition where they talked about Bigfoot. One of the topics they spoke about was why hasn’t anyone ever gotten a good picture of Bigfoot. Mitch Hedberg explained this several years ago, so I thought I’d do a public service to help anyone who was struggling with the issue by sharing Mitch’s rather reasonable explaination. (Get Clip of Mitch from Strategic Grill Locations –You Were Good)
As for me, here’s an update on my situation. When last I talked about me, I had just been laid off from my job downtown. Now, things are looking up. I have a friend who put in my resume for a Mortgage lender and I was contacted a little over a week ago for an interview. It went well, but I knew I had another potential, so although they offered me a position immediately, I told them I needed to wait to hear back from a couple other offers. I agreed to speak with them again on Friday. However, when Friday came, I still wasn’t ready to make a decision. I explained to the hiring manager my situation and was hoping to ask for a few more days to make a decision. At that time, they immediately raised their offer 40% on the spot. I immediately accepted, and now am working for them. So there is the update on me, and my savvy negotiating skills.
Today on Vertically Striped Radio: Broncos nation reacts to obtaining the Brady Quinn. How’s your bracket? Apparently I’m doing well, as I’m in the 96th percentile over at ESPN, but I’ve not gotten too into the tourney this year thus far. Although perhaps that will change with round 2. Also…Who can you make fun of? Well, you can make fun of me because I’ve promised this segment for the past two Saturdays, but haven’t actually delivered on it yet. Things look good to actually talk about that this week, but I understand if you’re skeptical. (Also, this week I will be debuting the new single that is sure to be racing up the charts… “Anything for Lunch”) All that plus (or minus) much much more awaits you on VSR today. If you’d like to jump into the festivities you can do so by calling…
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Twitter: @socnorb777
Chatroom: DAMNradio.blogspot.com
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
LONDON (Reuters) – Staff at the Dinnington library are used to people bringing books back late but the package they received last month was in a class of its own.
It contained a paperback first edition copy of "Quatermass and the Pit" by Nigel Kneale which had been borrowed on September 24, 1965.
"I thought at first it was just a normal return, until I saw the color of the pages: they were very brown around the edges," said Alison Lawrie, the Principal Library Assistant.
"It's true that some people like to take their time with a good book, but 45 years is an incredible amount of time!"
Staff believe the book was borrowed from the old Dinnington Library, in Sheffield, South Yorkshire which opened in 1936 and is close to the current building which opened in 2000.
However, the identity of the borrower remains a mystery because records do not go back that far -- and there would have been no danger of a huge accumulated fine because all fines are capped at 6 pounds ($9).
"The person who posted it back to us would not be in any 'trouble' whatsoever," said Lawrie. "If the person who returned the book wants to come forward, we'd love to know the story behind it."
Man…a library book that was mysteriously returned after 45 years. This sounds like a job for Bookman!
YouTube – Seinfeld – Library Cop (Clip 22)
MOSCOW (Reuters) –
A cautionary tale for lovers from Russia today. Seems a couple in Moscow died in a most unusual way last week. The couple was having sex in a car parked in a tiny garage in Moscow. Many Russians keep their cars in box-like iron garages near their homes, which snugly encase their cars.
It appears that due to the severe cold weather, they made a fatal mistake. The man and a woman retreated to their Volkswagen to have sex... Most likely the lovers turned on the engine to get warm," During a moment of "intimate closeness," the pair, in southern Moscow, inhaled carbon monoxide gas and died”
BERLIN (Reuters) – A German woman, fearful that a burglar was trying to break into her second storey apartment, called police after she heard someone climbing up to her balcony shortly after midnight, police said Thursday.
Police discovered the "burglar" was a man carrying flowers and a bottle of wine who turned out to be the woman's boyfriend, but then arrested him on an outstanding warrant.
"He was trying to surprise her with the flowers and a bottle of wine but it all went wrong," said Korbach police spokesman Volker Koenig. He said the man jumped down from the balcony and tried to escape but was quickly tackled by police.
"He nevertheless gave the police who were taking him to jail the bottle of wine as a gesture of thanks for the friendly treatment after the arrest," Koenig said.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news…(Play News Music – Clip 03)
MAIN TOPICS:
Last Sunday the Broncos went a little nuts and swung a trade with the Cleveland Browns to get former Notre Dame sensation, but more recently Cleveland Brown disappointment Brady Quinn. I figured the best way to gauge Bronco Nation’s feelings about that trade was with a quick call to my buddy Doug. After the rousing success of our first episode of Doug on Demand where we discussed Lego tattoos and going on ride-alongs with the Colorado State Patrol, here again is my oldest friend and antagonistic fake radio skeptic, Doug Newton. With a feloniously recorded Doug on Demand Phone Call (Clip 29)
[plus Bruce if I feel like it (Clip 30)]
Anything for Lunch – Play song (Clip 35) (Talk a bit about “Do they know it’s Lunchtime”)
Read a fortune cookie on the air. (Eat the cookie too)
Who CAN we make fun of now?
-The rural poor – AKA Rednecks or Yokels. (Clip 26 – Cletus)
-Cultures that no longer exist –Feel free to make fun of Carthaginians or Huns.
-Cultures that never actually existed – (Clip 20 – Perfect Strangers – Look a Toaster!) Merpeople, Fake Eastern European cultures such as Balki Bartakomous from Mypos or Latka Gravis from Taxi.
-Stupid people – Homer (Homer and Mr. Burns – Clip 33)
-Rich People – Mr. Burns is the perfect example. It gets even worse if the person who is rich becomes politically active and starts advocating positions they don’t seem to follow themselves…Al Gore…It doesn’t help if the rich people start making outrageous claims like that they created the internet. Dorothy Parker said "If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to."
-Amish people – They’ll never know! Plus, have you SEEN their clothes?
-White People – In general it’s fine to make fun of white people. No one seems to really care. Even better, It is always fun if the White people have a racial identity crisis. (27 – White Jokes) (28 – White Disclaimer)
-Fake Radio Personalities – If you’re on the BlogTalk radio, I think you’re probably fair game.
Movie reviews: “Avatar”, “The Road” and “The Princess and The Frog”
-Avatar
-The Road
-The Princess and the Frog
-Julie and Julia
-District 9
-Whip It
Defend Movies:
-Almost Famous
-The Shawshank Redemption
-Fight Club
The Week in Wankery:
Wanker of the Week
-Colorado weather
Man of the Week: The tour guide at Dinosaur Ridge
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
DeVotchka – How it Ends (Song: How it ends) (Clip 31)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Holster:
Andrew Bird – Sovay
Fleet Foxes
Elliot Smith
Don Chaffer – The Worst is my being alone
Squirrel Nut Zippers
The Bravery
Tremolo
Iron and Wine
Magnificent 7: Seven things people driving around me need to stop doing.
1. Stopping at a flashing yellow.
2. Stopping at a continuous turn lane.
3. Driving the speed limit or slower in the left lane.
4. Getting over into my lane directly in front of me and then slowing down.
5. Three Words: No turn signal
6. Braking for no logical reason
7. Not pulling into the intersection to turn left when the light is green but you don’t have a green arrow.
DUBAI (Reuters) – Two Emirates airlines cabin crew have been ordered jailed for three months in Dubai over sexually explicit text messages, the latest in a string of indecency cases against foreigners, a newspaper reported Wednesday.
The pair, an Indian flight attendant and her cabin services supervisor, were convicted of "coercion to commit sin" over the messages and initially sentenced to six months in jail, The National newspaper said on its website, citing court documents.
The sentence was reduced on appeal last week to three months and deportation orders against the pair were lifted, it added. It did not reveal the content of the messages.
Dubai's foreign population has expanded rapidly in recent years as expatriates flocked to the Gulf Arab trade and tourism hub for its tax-free earnings and year-round sunshine.
The changes have challenged the Emirati population, which is now vastly outnumbered by foreigners, raising concern that their emirate's rapid pace of growth is a threat to their social and religious identity in what remains a deeply conservative region.
An Emirates spokeswoman declined to comment on the case as it was still ongoing.
The paper said the case emerged after the flight attendant's husband filed a lawsuit against his wife a year ago accusing her of being in an illicit relationship with her supervisor. It said the couple had been embroiled in a divorce battle since 2007.
The case is the latest decency case against foreigners accused of not respecting local mores.
In a separate case, a British pair caught kissing in public in Dubai is appealing a month-long jail sentence handed down after an Emirati mother complained her child had seen their indiscretion.
The pair, a British man living in Dubai and a female friend, were arrested in November on accusations of kissing and touching each other intimately in public and consuming alcohol, their lawyer said. They were ordered jailed for a month.
In a high-profile case in 2008, a British couple narrowly escaped jail after a court found them guilty of engaging in drunken sexual activity out of wedlock, and for doing so in public on a beach in the emirate.
They were sentenced to three months in prison followed by deportation, but had their jail terms overturned on appeal.
In a separate case this year, a British couple who shared a hotel room managed to escape trial in Dubai for having sex out of wedlock by producing a marriage certificate.
