Greetings and Salutations, People: Daylight savings riff
Tweet of the Week:
@nicksturners
I swear I change my mind about this election every time I open up facebook. My high school friends are political geniuses!
I swear I change my mind about this election every time I open up facebook. My high school friends are political geniuses!
Things I
liked this week:
Trick or
Treating with Luke
Picking up
Ellie from School
NBA Season
starting and the Lakers dropping their first 3 games.
Today on VSR –
The internet has changed the world…we’ll look at how it might not be entirely a
good thing, my upcoming personal challenge, and a Magnificent Seven list
If you’d like
to join in the fun - (646) 716-7522 OR OHMS-1-MRLAB
Voice Mail –
720-CUB-1-ACE (720-282-1223)
Twitter:
@socnorb777
(Bring on
Face) –
Let’s get to
the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Let’s get to
the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Caacupe, PARAGUAY - All the players and substitutes from
two football teams, 36 people in total, received red cards as a Paraguayan
junior league match ended in a mass brawl.
With five minutes of the game left to play, referee
Nestor Guillen sent off a player from each side, but the pair refused to leave
the field and continued their fight.
In seconds, the rest of the players had joined in with
some punching and aiming kung-fu kicks at their opponents.
The match officials fled to their dressing room and
issued the red cards from there.
Hernan Martinez, president of the home club, Teniente
Farina, said: 'The referees didn't even stay on the field. As soon as the
fighting broke out they went to the dressing room.
'They ran through the tunnel to their dressing room. They
weren't able to see anything that happened. But, in the report, to more or less
wash their hands of the responsibility, they expelled all 36 players.'
Sixto Nunez, president of away club Libertad, said he
thought the officials had shirked their duties in fleeing the pitch.
'The referee needed to take better care of the boys. He
should have made sure that the two dismissed players were completely off the
field,' he said.
'Instead, the officials left the field and when the
players were all leaving together that's when the fighting started again.'
The players, who were all automatically suspended, are
waiting to hear about further sanctions from the league's disciplinary
committee.
Cleveland, OHIO - How rough is it being a Cleveland
Browns fan these days? With the lack of quality on the field, they are seeking
entertainment in unusual and disgusting ways.
A group of tailgating Browns fans convinced one of their
own to dip his head into a bucket…a bucket they had been using as an impromptu
urinal and was filled to the top with the groups urine.
The group somehow decided that someone in their group
needed to stick their head in the bucket. They pooled together $450 as a reward
for anyone willing to submerge themselves in the collected pee. A man named
Phil either desperately needed $450 or desperately needed attention, so he removed
his Ohio State t-shirt, submitted to the peer pressure, and plunged his head
into a bucket of urine. Luckily the camera was on the scene so the world could
see.
Despite many cries of "Don’t do it, Phil!" the
louder chants of encouragement helped Phil summon the courage, and as the
stream of YouTube videos show the man became $450 richer and the envy of
everyone around.
The primitive appeal of a grown man's head dipped in
urine is undeniable.
How many people and how long does it takes to fill a five
gallon bucket with urine? What poor devil had to sit next to this man during
the game? How much would you have to get paid to do the same?
Jersey City, NEW JERSEY - Jargget Washington had himself
quite the crime spree a few weeks ago. First, Washington decided to take off
all of his clothes and then try to carjack drivers on west side of Jersey City.
At one point during his nude drug-fueled shenanigans, Washington managed to
pull one driver out of his car. Fortunately for the unsuspecting motorist, he
managed to fend off the assault from the suspect without sustaining serious
injured in the process.
Washington was finally caught and subdued by local
police. After refusing to cooperate with police, the 29-year-old was placed in
a spit hood and leg irons, police said. After finally getting him into the back
of the squad car, the suspect was carted off to Jersey City Medical Center for evaluation.
Still high on PCP and none too pleased with his current situation, the suspect
reportedly spit at police while trying desperately to chew through his medical
bracelet in order to gnaw on his wrist.
After being medically and psychologically cleared by the
clearly incompetent JCMC, Washington was sent back to jail. In the squad car on
his way to jail, Washington, dressed in a hospital gown, emptied his bowels in
the back seat of the police car. If this peculiar behavior wasn’t enough to
gross out and disturb authorities, the man gnawed off his finger while sitting
in his jail cell. The digit, once removed, was then chewed and swallowed by the
suspect.
As a result of his unruly and self-destructive behavior,
Jargget Washington was taken back to the medical clinic for further treatment.
Apparently New Jersey jails aren’t equipped to handle prisoners who decide to
turn their own fingers into prison food.
For the trouble he caused during his rampage, Washington
is being charged with carjacking, throwing bodily fluids at law enforcement officers,
and being under the influence of a controlled dangerous substance. If he
doesn’t remember eating his own finger during his PCP rampage, chances are
he’ll be in for quite a surprise when he sobers up.
So, to quickly wrap up this story: Naked man attempts to
carjack multiple cars in Western Jersey City, get arrested and can’t stop
spitting and cursing at the cops, gets taken for psychological testing WHICH HE
PASSES and then promptly poops a police car and gnaws off, then chews and
swallows his own finger.
I’m Craig,
and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
The
Magnificent Seven – “Top Seven Movies We wish we could see for the first time”
7. Inside Man
6. The
Princess Bride
5. Rounders
4.
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
3. American
Beauty
2. Fight Club
1. Pans
Labyrinth
Casablanca
The Muppet
Movie
Groundhog Day
Looper
The Breakfast
Club
Office Space
Hoosiers
Good Morning
Vietnam
The Shawshank
Redemption
The Matrix
The Usual
Suspects
Stand by Me
Memento
Training Day
Back to the
Future
Vertically Striped Music
Recommendation:
Bad Veins –
Don’t Run
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
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