Greetings and Salutations, People: It’s the World’s Most Dangerous Podcast, THIS is Vertically Striped Radio. I am your host, and perhaps the worst Scramble With Friends player on the planet, Craig Dodge. From a sunny day in Denver, Colorado, let’s do this thing!
I watched the second half of the Oscars on Sunday night, and apart from The Artist winning Best Picture as I assured you it would last week, this year’s Oscars (at least the parts I saw) were pretty lame. The ratings back that up as well, as for the first time ever, the Grammy’s did a bigger number than the Oscars. Probably the biggest issue was how much The Artist won. It took home Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Director, Best Original Score and Best Costume Design. If you want to alienate an American audience, give award after award to a bunch of French guys…works every time.
The take away from this year’s Oscars…
Angelina Jolie – I’m out.
I stood by her through her wearing a vial of Billy Bob Thornton’s blood around her neck, I stood by her while she tried to adopt half of Africa in what felt more like an attempt to be fashionable than an attempt to help kids, and I would have even stood by her with her ridiculous leg pose on Sunday night, but I have to say, I’m out on her because she looks like she is starving herself. I don’t care for the Skeletor look, and she looks so thin I half expect Sally Struthers to be crying in a commercial with maudlin music in the background while she asks, “Won’t someone think Angelina Jolie?” I need SOME meat on my women, and Angelina Jolie now looks like she is on a hunger strike that she won’t end until the Washington Generals defeat the Globetrotters. I’m sorry, Angelina, but I can only take so much. I have to end it between us.
Tweet of the Week:
A Muppet wearing a foam finger is like a turducken.
Today on VSR – We have a new batch of things to ponder in “Something to Think About”, On a new edition of the Magnificent Seven, I have a list of my Top 7 “I can’t explain this” girls, and I have a great story about Drivers Ed to play for us as well as our usual stuff…
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(Bring on Face) –
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
CHAPEL HILL, North Carolina - A 43-year-old man in North Carolina died Tuesday after drinking gasoline and lighting a cigarette.
Gary Allen Banning of Havelock, N.C., was taken to a local hospital late Monday after police responded to a 911 call from a resident reporting an apartment fire. Banning was transported to the University of North Carolina Jaycee Burn Center in Chapel Hill where he died early Tuesday. He had suffered severe burns.
According to police, Banning accidentally drank from a salsa jar containing gasoline at a friend's apartment, spitting it out and getting it on his clothes. He then lit a cigarette a few minutes later that ignited his clothes and caused the fatal burns.
"It was just a freak incident," said W.K. Preslar, an investigator with the Havelock Police Department.
Preslar said Banning's friend was a mechanic and used gasoline to remove grease from his hands.
METHUEN, Mass. (AP) -- School officials in a Massachusetts town are apologizing for sending home a lunch menu that listed KKK Chicken Tenders as an option.
About 6,500 students in four Methuen schools went home with new menus Tuesday, a day after the original one mistakenly listed chicken seemingly in the style of the Ku Klux Klan.
Superintendent Judith Scannell said the menu was supposed to list KK Chicken Tenders, with the KK standing for a creatively spelled "Krispy, Krunchy," but an employee mistakenly hit the "K" key one too many times.
Scannell apologized if anyone was offended. The food service director got one complaint.
A student pointed out to WCVB-TV that it there would've been no issue if officials just spelled the words correctly, with the letter C.
RECIFE, Brazil - Ricardo Sergio Freire de Barros, age 41, was picked up by police in the northeastern Brazilian city of Recife and charged with using false documents and forgery.
He also was carrying several fraudulent forms of identification, but what makes this story interesting is he went into a bank and tried to open a bank account with a fake ID that had the name “Joao Pedro dos Santos" with a photo of Jack Nicholson's face on it.
Police said Freire de Barros was already being investigated for fraudulent activity when he was arrested.
CLINTON, Miss. (AP) -- Police in Mississippi say charges are pending against a Jackson area teen for pulling a prank on a friend when he advertised a free baby on Craigslist using the friend's cell phone number on the contact information.
Police Chief Don Byington would not identify the youths involved, but said the posting was "a bad practical joke."
Byington says the 18-year-old student at Clinton High took a photo of an unknown baby boy and placed the ad on Craigslist to give away - not sell - the baby. He says police interviewed the student Monday.
Prosecutors say the posting of such information can be prosecuted under state law that makes the "posting of messages through electronic media for the purpose of causing injury to another person" a felony.
I’m Craig, and that is the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring in the Whale:
Band name of the week:
The Assassination of Stretch Armstrong by the Coward Teddy Ruxpin.
I continue to maintain that the 80’s are the most ridiculous decade in history, as further proof, I present the video for Lionel Richie’s “Hello”.
He-Man Movie Watchers Club:
Next Week: TMNT
2 Weeks it’ll be our St. Patrick’s Day spectacular, then we will be on a bit of a sabbatical, as I’ll be on vacation the final 2 Saturdays in March.
BREAK – (Clip 81) – Matt Miller – Driver’s Ed
Something to Think About:
1. It’s time to start walking on the escalator. This isn’t a ride.
2. Hear no Evil, Speak no Evil, See no Evil. (What about Smell no Evil, Taste no Evil, or Feel no Evil?)
3. Running is about the scariest thing you can do if you’re blind
4. Sugar-Free candy is crap. Look, just because I happen to be diabetic doesn’t mean I like things that taste terrible.
5. Miniaturize a McDonalds and hire only little people.
Gives a place for little people to be able to work where they are able to easily reach everything. It is built to their specifications AND it gives me a place where I can walk in and feel like a giant. Win-win.
6. (Clip 50) What if Wilson hadn’t floated away before Tom Hanks got rescued in Castaway?
7. I miss the generic aisle.
8. March is the most militant of months
9. Not sure Peter Pan really needs to freak out about losing his shadow.
10. We need to make a bigger deal out of leap day, but why does it have to be in February? If there is one thing I don’t need in my life, it’s more February. I say lets move it to July. How cool would it be to have a July 32nd every 4 years?
SADDLE RIVER, N.J. (AP) -- A New Jersey mother born on February 29 beat 2 million-to-1 odds when her daughter Rose who was also born on leap day.
Michelle Birnbaum of Saddle River Birnbaum turned 32 Wednesday, but celebrated for only the eighth time on the actual date. Her daughter rose was born Feb. 29, 2008 and celebrated her actual date birthday for the first time this week.
Top 7 “I can’t explain this” girls
Rachel Dratch
Whoopi Goldberg
Juliette Lewis
Joan Rivers
7. Rhea Perlman
6. Glen Close
5. Kim Kardashian
4. Cher
3. Paris Hilton
2. Rosie O’Donnell
1. Courtney Love
Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Renee & Jeremy – It’s a Big World.
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
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