Greetings and Salutations, people! - Or rather should I say, Ahoy and Avast, ye mateys! Ya see, Today be the eve of Talk Like a Pirate day, and if any of ye bilge rats feel we shouldn’t be celebratin’ this joyous occasion, you’ll be facin the business end of me cutlass, I’ll keel-haul ya or worse yet, send ya to Davey Jones’ locker! So let us weigh anchor, hoist the main sail, fly the Jolly Rodger for today, VSR is TRULY, Pirate Radio! Arrrgh!!!
Okay, that’s probably enough of that, although, I am pleased to have a chance to celebrate Talk Like a Pirate day here on Vertically Striped Radio, there is a whole bunch of pirate themed items on the agenda thanks to two visionaries: John Baur and Mark Summers.
These two are the creators of Talk Like a Pirate Day, which began as any good holiday should…on the racquetball court. Back in 1995, these two were playing a game of racquetball and started throwing out pirate vernacular. They decided to turn it into a whole new holiday, and decided on September 19th, as it was Mark’s ex-wife’s birthday. Dave Barry, columnist for the Miami Herald wrote about their holiday back in 2002, and thanks to the ambition of these two and the help of the internet, the holiday continues to grow each year…to the point that my company even gave us TLAP day gifts yesterday at my office.
It is truly a blessed holiday…
Today on VSR – Pirate stuff abouds…We’ll play some pirate songs, We have a double dip Magnificent Seven: With the Top 7 Pirates of all time along with the Top 7 Pirates phrases being named. Also, since the Broncos play the Seahawks Sunday, I checked in and made a friendly wager with Seahawk fan Aaron Young of the No Name show who lives in Washington, so we’ll hear the details of that wager as well. All in all, it figures to be a solid day of Vertically Striped Radio, so let’s Swab the Decks, ye scurvy dogs. It be Talk Like a Pirate Day…Eve…
[Clip 52 – 15 Men on a Dead Man’s Chest (Yo Ho Ho, and a Bottle of Rum) 3:54]
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
NAPERVILLE, Ill. (AP) -- Dog owners, beware: If you live in suburban Chicago and don't pick up after your pet, you might get tossed an unpleasant reminder. Police in Naperville said a woman who stepped in dog feces outside her apartment appears to have retaliated by heaving it at the door of her neighbor who owns a dog.
Susan Miller was charged with disorderly conduct after her bizarre protest Wednesday.
The Naperville Sun reported that police say Miller also uprooted a sign telling residents to pick up dog waste and placed it on the neighbor's patio. Miller was arrested after the neighbor called police.
An unapologetic Miller said that if she can pick up the poop from her 80-pound dog, her neighbor can pick up after a 20-pound dog.
EVERETT, Wash. (AP) -- Prosecutors in Washington state say an 18-year-old woman stabbed a 19-year-old man for teasing her that her feet smelled. The Herald of Everett reported the man was found by police with a steak knife sticking out of his back, buried a few inches in. His lung had collapsed. Officials said he'll recover.
Charging papers said trouble started when Dallas Amber Smith was drinking and hanging out with friends and was challenged to do a back flip. When she took off her shoes to do the back flip, the teasing started.
Smith had no criminal history. She faces charges of second-degree assault with a deadly weapon.
(Sept. 10) -- Six years ago, GoldenPalace.com, an online casino, made headlines when it won an eBay auction and paid $28,000 for a half-eaten, 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich that bore a striking resemblance to the Virgin Mary. The sandwich was a miracle, some said. Now, though, anyone can make one.
A Vermont man named Galen P. Dively III has introduced a toaster that sears the image of Christ on each and every slice it toasts.
Call it a miracle! Or just call it the Jesus Toaster.
Retailing for $39.95, the revelatory toaster uses patented radiated heat technology to toast the face of Christ on any variety of daily bread, from plain white to whole grain.
Shroud of Turin, meet Slice of Wonder.
Thanks to the new Jesus Toaster, you can have the body of Christ with your daily bread.
The Jesus Toaster went on sale Wednesday at Dively's website, jesustoasters.com Dively has deep faith in Jesus Toasters. He's ordered an initial run of 3,000 units from a factory in China and believes the toasters will be a big hit with church and school groups. His company, Burnt Impressions, also has plans to create Virgin Mary and Star of David toasters.
The Jesus Toaster isn't the only toaster to burn images on slices of bread. Sports fans can get ProToast toasters, from Pangea Brands, which offer up the logos of NFL, MLB and NBA teams.
Dively originally looked into manufacturing team logo toasters, but he found the licensing fees to be prohibitive -- which is why he turned to Jesus.
"There are no licensing fees with Jesus," Dively explained. "He loves everybody!"
As Dively spreads the word about his toaster, his work, he believes is serving a higher purpose.
"I consider it cheap PR for the Lord," he said.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
(Last Saskatchewan Pirate – Arrogant Worms Clip 53)
Bring on Face:
Have you forgiven Alex Barron?
Jets and the Mexican Reporter
Clinton Portis makes comments
Magnificent Seven: Top 7 Pirate phrases AND Top 7 Pirates:
7. Lubber / Land-Lubber – A non-sailor
6. Piece of Eight/Doubloon – Either way, it sounds cool – It was a Spanish Gold
Coin.
5. Me Hearties – The way a pirate captain would address his crew.
4. Avast! - "Hey!" Could be used as "Stop that!" or "Who goes there?" Works best with “Ye Matey!” attached.
3. Keelhaul -- Punishment by dragging under the ship, from one side to the other. The victim of a keelhauling would be half-drowned, or worse, and lacerated by the barnacles that grew beneath the ship.
2. Davey Jones’ locker – The bottom of the sea (Surprisingly, NOT the locker of the Colorado Avalanche’s right winger)
1. Arrrrgh!!
Pirate Music: Traighli Bay – Tanglefoot – (Clip 51) – 5:25
A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The sailor notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.
The sailor asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"
Top 7 Pirates of All time:
Honorable Mention:
Captain Morgan
The Flying Dutchman
Patchy the Pirate
Smee
Errol Flynn
The Top Seven:
7. Al Davis (Clip 67) – It’s important to remember that although they are romanticized now, Pirates were generally despicable usually insane and ALWAYS lowlifes…Al Davis fits in perfectly with all that! Plus, Al is old enough that there is a chance he actually sailed in the days of the pirates.
6. The Dog in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland
5. Roberto Clemente
4. Jack Sparrow – (Clip 64)
3. Bucco Bruce – (The Buccaneer’s old logo)
2. Cap’n Crunch – (Marty B – Cap’n Crunch rap – Clip 62)
1. Captain Hook – (Clip 61)
Phone Call with Aaron Young – (Clip 60)
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
A Pirate Looks at Forty 3:52(Clip 54) – Jimmy Buffet
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
Man of the Match:
Red Card
(Clip 92) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
Patron- Does this library have any information of King Malcolm the Tenth?
Reference Librarian – You mean the King from the play, Macbeth?
P – No I mean the civil rights leader.
RL – Oh, you mean Malcolm X.
P- Do you have a videotape of Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg address?
RL – No, we don’t.
P – You should get it. You have Bush on tape, and Lincoln was a greater President.
RL – Thanks for that historical analysis.
P- Do you have a good English translation of Hamlet?
RL – Yes, it’s by a man named William Shakespeare…very close to the original.
P – Who invented the time machine?
RL – H.G. Wells
P – I need information on the car BMW. How do you spell it?
RL – Go to the head of the class…you just did.
P – Why were so many Civil War battles fought in national parks?
RL – Trees provided great protection from bullets.
P – Do you have an audio tape of live dinosaur sounds?
RL – No, but you might want to try the zoo.
P – I need information on the woman named Rosetta Stone.
RL – Good luck. Let me know when you find it.
P- I need books on youth in Africa.
RL – You need books on young people in Africa?
P – No I need books about killing old people and vegetables.
RL – Oh, you have the wrong continent. That’s youth in Asia.
P – Is the correct term Swiss or Swedish?
RL – Yes.
P – I want to get the Gutenberg Bible on inter-library loan.
RL – That depends. Will you pay the shipping costs?
P – Do you have a copy of the Jerusalem newspaper on the day Jesus was born?
RL – No, but it might be on microfiche.
P- I need a book on impudence.
RL – Can you be more specific?
P – My husband can’t sustain an erection.
P – I need a cookbook for preparing dog food.
RL – You mean like kibbles and bits?
P – No for preparing a roast dachshund.
P – Is this library a government suppository?
RL – Sometimes it seems like it is.
P – I need a biography of a prehistoric man.
RL – How about Ralph the Hairy?
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Show Prep 72
Greetings and Salutations, people! -
Clip 90 – Football is Back Song
Today on VSR – It’s time to ticket Wankers again, Football is back, so we’ll rejoice in that a little, We will conclude the Shek Republic Life in a Week series with Episode 5, we have an account of a crime given by a delightful eye witness, and possibly the strangest Magnificent 7 of all time.
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
MELBOURNE, Australia (AP) -- Two men were arrested after bewildered diners at a McDonald's spotted them wrestling a 5-foot (1.5 meter) python named Boris in the restaurant parking lot, police said Thursday. Victoria state police said the men stole the 8-year-old black-headed python and a lizard from a pet shop on Wednesday. They then brought the snake to the McDonald's parking lot, where they began wrestling with it in front of puzzled customers, police said.
The men, aged 22 and 24, were arrested and charged with burglary and theft. Police didn't release their names.
"In all honesty, it's just a case of dumb and dumber," Detective Sgt. Andrew Beams told Australian Broadcasting Corp. "Anyone who gets out there with a one-and-a-half meter python in a McDonald's parking lot - they're pretty dumb."
The stolen snake was returned to it’s relieved owner, and is now resting comfortably in it’s enclosure, recovering from it’s match.
MURPHYSBORO, Ill. (AP) -- Clad in Spiderman pajamas, a 5-year-old southern Illinois boy on a scooter had someplace to be. And he apparently wasn't going to let busy highways stand in his way. Authorities said Jackson County sheriff's deputies picked up the boy and his Razor-type scooter about 2 a.m. Wednesday along Old Illinois 13 in Murphysboro after fielding two 911 calls about the child's trek.
Investigators said the boy reportedly left home without his parents' knowledge to visit a friend in Carbondale, about seven miles away. Deputies got to him about two miles into his journey, which involved traveling on two major highways.
The boy was unharmed and returned to his grateful parents.
BERLIN (AP) -- A German man's habit of taking naked walks to reduce his stress levels backfired when his latest escapade triggered a police search and closed down a rail line. Police in the western city of Solingen said Friday that a woman out walking her dog saw the man, who jumped onto the train tracks and fled. She found his clothes nearby and reported the sighting to police.
Police closed the rail line for 1 1/2 hours Thursday night and sent up a helicopter to try and locate the man. He eventually turned himself in, saying he panicked after being seen and fled home.
The 42-year-old told officers he often took naked walks because it helped him combat stress.
The man could now face a fine for trespassing on railway property.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face: I’m a little worried for humanity, Face. 88 people have downloaded the draft show we did that was hour four of our 32 team fantasy draft.
Good news for Larry – A study that was released this week says that people who drink will live longer than people who drink nothing. Odd as it may sound, Teetotalers on average are more likely to die young than raging alcoholics.
Ron Jenkees (Clip 80) – Thought this was interesting, the original sound clip that was cut up and edited into the iconic opening to the BS report. If you listen to the Sports Guy at all, this will sound familiar, yet different.
World News with Craig’s Movie Response: (Intro Clip – Clip 06)
Ed’s Memphis Four Rant from Thursday’s Ed Show – Clip 97
Movie Response – Billy Madison: - Clip 96
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
1. Kansas Drivers - jumping into the left lane right in front of me going 20 MPH slower than I am.
2. City of Sterling, Kansas – Air Raid sirens go off EVERY DAY at 7,12,1, and 6.
3. Photo Radar tickets – You should have to get a ticket from a police officer, not a picture via mail.
Man of the Match:
Whoever has their internet access non-protected in the apartment complex near my work. I salute you.
Red Card
Local Grocery Store King Soopers: Discontinuing aluminum recycling.
Clip 93 – How to describe witnessing a crime.
Clip 94 – Backing up Song
Episode 5: Shek Republic Life in a Week – (Clip 79)
(Clip 92) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Deathanol by Memphis 4 Now (Clip 91)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Patron- Does this library have any information of King Malcolm the Tenth?
Reference Librarian – You mean the King from the play, Macbeth?
P – No I mean the civil rights leader.
RL – Oh, you mean Malcolm X.
P- Do you have a videotape of Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg address?
RL – No, we don’t.
P – You should get it. You have Bush on tape, and Lincoln was a greater President.
RL – Thanks for that historical analysis.
P- Do you have a good English translation of Hamlet?
RL – Yes, it’s by a man named William Shakespeare…very close to the original.
P – Who invented the time machine?
RL – H.G. Wells
P – I need information on the car BMW. How do you spell it?
RL – Go to the head of the class…you just did.
P – Why were so many Civil War battles fought in national parks?
RL – Trees provided great protection from bullets.
P – Do you have an audio tape of live dinosaur sounds?
RL – No, but you might want to try the zoo.
P – I need information on the woman named Rosetta Stone.
RL – Good luck. Let me know when you find it.
P- I need books on youth in Africa.
RL – You need books on young people in Africa?
P – No I need books about killing old people and vegetables.
RL – Oh, you have the wrong continent. That’s youth in Asia.
P – Is the correct term Swiss or Swedish?
RL – Yes.
P – I want to get the Gutenberg Bible on inter-library loan.
RL – That depends. Will you pay the shipping costs?
P – Do you have a copy of the Jerusalem newspaper on the day Jesus was born?
RL – No, but it might be on microfiche.
P- I need a book on impudence.
RL – Can you be more specific?
P – My husband can’t sustain an erection.
P – I need a cookbook for preparing dog food.
RL – You mean like kibbles and bits?
P – No for preparing a roast dachshund.
P – Is this library a government suppository?
RL – Sometimes it seems like it is.
P – I need a biography of a prehistoric man.
RL – How about Ralph the Hairy?
Clip 90 – Football is Back Song
Today on VSR – It’s time to ticket Wankers again, Football is back, so we’ll rejoice in that a little, We will conclude the Shek Republic Life in a Week series with Episode 5, we have an account of a crime given by a delightful eye witness, and possibly the strangest Magnificent 7 of all time.
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
MELBOURNE, Australia (AP) -- Two men were arrested after bewildered diners at a McDonald's spotted them wrestling a 5-foot (1.5 meter) python named Boris in the restaurant parking lot, police said Thursday. Victoria state police said the men stole the 8-year-old black-headed python and a lizard from a pet shop on Wednesday. They then brought the snake to the McDonald's parking lot, where they began wrestling with it in front of puzzled customers, police said.
The men, aged 22 and 24, were arrested and charged with burglary and theft. Police didn't release their names.
"In all honesty, it's just a case of dumb and dumber," Detective Sgt. Andrew Beams told Australian Broadcasting Corp. "Anyone who gets out there with a one-and-a-half meter python in a McDonald's parking lot - they're pretty dumb."
The stolen snake was returned to it’s relieved owner, and is now resting comfortably in it’s enclosure, recovering from it’s match.
MURPHYSBORO, Ill. (AP) -- Clad in Spiderman pajamas, a 5-year-old southern Illinois boy on a scooter had someplace to be. And he apparently wasn't going to let busy highways stand in his way. Authorities said Jackson County sheriff's deputies picked up the boy and his Razor-type scooter about 2 a.m. Wednesday along Old Illinois 13 in Murphysboro after fielding two 911 calls about the child's trek.
Investigators said the boy reportedly left home without his parents' knowledge to visit a friend in Carbondale, about seven miles away. Deputies got to him about two miles into his journey, which involved traveling on two major highways.
The boy was unharmed and returned to his grateful parents.
BERLIN (AP) -- A German man's habit of taking naked walks to reduce his stress levels backfired when his latest escapade triggered a police search and closed down a rail line. Police in the western city of Solingen said Friday that a woman out walking her dog saw the man, who jumped onto the train tracks and fled. She found his clothes nearby and reported the sighting to police.
Police closed the rail line for 1 1/2 hours Thursday night and sent up a helicopter to try and locate the man. He eventually turned himself in, saying he panicked after being seen and fled home.
The 42-year-old told officers he often took naked walks because it helped him combat stress.
The man could now face a fine for trespassing on railway property.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on Face: I’m a little worried for humanity, Face. 88 people have downloaded the draft show we did that was hour four of our 32 team fantasy draft.
Good news for Larry – A study that was released this week says that people who drink will live longer than people who drink nothing. Odd as it may sound, Teetotalers on average are more likely to die young than raging alcoholics.
Ron Jenkees (Clip 80) – Thought this was interesting, the original sound clip that was cut up and edited into the iconic opening to the BS report. If you listen to the Sports Guy at all, this will sound familiar, yet different.
World News with Craig’s Movie Response: (Intro Clip – Clip 06)
Ed’s Memphis Four Rant from Thursday’s Ed Show – Clip 97
Movie Response – Billy Madison: - Clip 96
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
1. Kansas Drivers - jumping into the left lane right in front of me going 20 MPH slower than I am.
2. City of Sterling, Kansas – Air Raid sirens go off EVERY DAY at 7,12,1, and 6.
3. Photo Radar tickets – You should have to get a ticket from a police officer, not a picture via mail.
Man of the Match:
Whoever has their internet access non-protected in the apartment complex near my work. I salute you.
Red Card
Local Grocery Store King Soopers: Discontinuing aluminum recycling.
Clip 93 – How to describe witnessing a crime.
Clip 94 – Backing up Song
Episode 5: Shek Republic Life in a Week – (Clip 79)
(Clip 92) Onion News story about the Hamburglar.
Magnificent 7: Top Seven McDonalds Characters
7. Birdie the Early Bird - She was the first identifiably female character, introduced in February 1980 to promote the company's new breakfast items. She is a yellow bird wearing a pink jumpsuit and flight cap and scarf. In the ads she is frequently portrayed as a poor flyer, and somewhat clumsy in general. Birdie's origin is explained in one old commercial: a giant egg falls from the night sky into McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald decides to show the egg love.
6. Ronald McDonald – The original Ronald was actually Willard Scott.
5. Uncle O'Grimacey - He was created in 1977 and even appeared in 1986 for an advertising narrative of McDonald's both in celebration of Saint Patrick's Day and to mark the annual appearance of the Shamrock Shake. O'Grimacey is the Irish uncle of the character Grimace and is a variant of the Grimace-design in that he is green instead of purple, sports a frock coat covered with several four-leaf clovers, and carries a shillelagh. His design motif is not unlike that of a stereotypical depiction of the Irish folkloric leprechaun. O'Grimacey resides in his home country for eleven months of the year and visits his nephew Grimace in March, bringing with him his "incredibly delicious" shake. Uncle O'Grimacey is no longer used by the chain for its promotions of the shake.
4. Fry Guys - They are characters used to promote McDonald's french fries. When they first appeared in 1972, they were called Gobblins and liked to steal and gobble up the other characters' french fries. Accompanying them was the "Keep Your Eyes on Your Fries" jingle. Their name was later changed to the Fry Guys in 1983, then the Fry Kids in 1987, as female characters (the "Fry Girls") were introduced. They are differently-colored, shaggy, ball-like creatures with long legs and no arms, almost resembling a pom-pon with legs and eyes.
3. Hamburglar
2. Grimace - Grimace is a large, purple character who was first introduced in November 1971 as the "Evil Grimace". In his first two appearances, he was depicted with two pairs of arms with which to steal milkshakes and sodas. "Evil" was soon dropped from his moniker, and he was reintroduced in 1972 as one of the good guys. In 1974, he was redesigned, going from two pairs of arms to the single pair he has today. His role continued to grow, and by the mid 1970s, he was a major character in McDonaldland. Commercials and merchandise generally portray Grimace as a well-meaning simpleton whose clumsy antics provide a comic foil to Ronald McDonald.
1. Mayor McCheese - Mayor McCheese was an enormous cheeseburger who appeared from 1971–1985, he has a burger for a head, and sports a top hat, a diplomat's sash, and a pair of pince-nez spectacles. He is portrayed as a giggly, bumbling, somewhat incompetent mayor.
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Deathanol by Memphis 4 Now (Clip 91)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Patron- Does this library have any information of King Malcolm the Tenth?
Reference Librarian – You mean the King from the play, Macbeth?
P – No I mean the civil rights leader.
RL – Oh, you mean Malcolm X.
P- Do you have a videotape of Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg address?
RL – No, we don’t.
P – You should get it. You have Bush on tape, and Lincoln was a greater President.
RL – Thanks for that historical analysis.
P- Do you have a good English translation of Hamlet?
RL – Yes, it’s by a man named William Shakespeare…very close to the original.
P – Who invented the time machine?
RL – H.G. Wells
P – I need information on the car BMW. How do you spell it?
RL – Go to the head of the class…you just did.
P – Why were so many Civil War battles fought in national parks?
RL – Trees provided great protection from bullets.
P – Do you have an audio tape of live dinosaur sounds?
RL – No, but you might want to try the zoo.
P – I need information on the woman named Rosetta Stone.
RL – Good luck. Let me know when you find it.
P- I need books on youth in Africa.
RL – You need books on young people in Africa?
P – No I need books about killing old people and vegetables.
RL – Oh, you have the wrong continent. That’s youth in Asia.
P – Is the correct term Swiss or Swedish?
RL – Yes.
P – I want to get the Gutenberg Bible on inter-library loan.
RL – That depends. Will you pay the shipping costs?
P – Do you have a copy of the Jerusalem newspaper on the day Jesus was born?
RL – No, but it might be on microfiche.
P- I need a book on impudence.
RL – Can you be more specific?
P – My husband can’t sustain an erection.
P – I need a cookbook for preparing dog food.
RL – You mean like kibbles and bits?
P – No for preparing a roast dachshund.
P – Is this library a government suppository?
RL – Sometimes it seems like it is.
P – I need a biography of a prehistoric man.
RL – How about Ralph the Hairy?
Show Prep 71
Greetings and Salutations, people. , This is Vertically Striped Radio. I am your host, Craig Dodge. (Tell the story of the softball team in the park with batter intro music)
Today on VSR –
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Before we go TOO much further, let’s roll with the news!
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
ABU DHABI, United Arab Emirates (AP) -- Can you break a $1 million?
A man from the Ivory Coast is in police custody in Abu Dhabi after allegedly persuading a woman to try to exchange two phony $1 million bills at the United Arab Emirates's Central Bank.
Police say the suspect promised the woman a 30 percent cut after the bills were traded - presumably for U.S. bills or UAE dirham. The suspect was identified in press reports Sunday only by the initials A.B. (Alec Baldwin, Albert Belle, Adrian Brody, Abigail Breslin???)
The phony notes feature the $1 portrait of George Washington and are mostly black and white on the front.
The National newspaper quotes Col. Rashid Mohammed Bursheed, the head of the organized crime unit, as saying the suspect claims he thought the bills were real.
SONORA, Calif. (AP) – Don’t mess with old dudes at a Garage Sale…A 70-year-old yard sale shopper is facing charges after things apparently got a bit out of hand at a yard sale. Authorities said Jon Joslin was arrested on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon after he allegedly hit another man over the head with a cornbread pan at the sale Friday. A sheriff's spokesman said Joslin hit the fellow shopper with a five-pound, cast iron pan to prevent him from getting to the sale first.
It seems the two men arrived early at the yard sale and were walking up a long driveway when Joslin first attempted to trip 64-year-old Joseph Brown.
Brown suffered a head laceration but refused medical treatment. Fortunately not all was lost, as the plot for Grumpy Old Men 3 now practically writes itself.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on the Boys…
Shek Republic in a Week – Episode 4 – Who is your hero, and why? (Clip 78)
Shek Republic in a Week:
1. How were you introduced to Dave Dameshek?
2. What is your take on mustard?
3. Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
4. Who is your hero and why?
5. What's the most interesting thing you could wish for?
The Moth – Michaela Murphy - All-Star game story (Clip 72) (16:30)
Time waster topics, if needed:
(Clip 10)
Great Moments in the history of BlogTalk Radio – Ed’s Dog story (Clip 48)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Frou Frou – Holding out for a Hero (Clip 91)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Extra Stuff and things for the future:
Top 7 Bad Euphemisms:
-Friendly Fire
-Flight Attendant
-To Pass Away
-Putting a dog to sleep
-Gentleman’s Club
-For Mature Audiences
-Big Boned
-Full Figured
-In a Family Way
-Laid Off
Deaths:
Puritans – Not so nice to the dead all the time. (Talk about the burial ground)
Who’s death would cause the biggest world wide sadness?
Pooping in public: No shame, or hide your feet? (Clip 81 – MM’s rap)
Top 7 NFL Uniforms:
1. Raiders
2. Packers
3. Colts
4. Giants
5. Cowboys
6. Steelers
7. Chargers
Top 7 Video Game Characters
Emmitt Smith flubs
Top 7 VSR Intros
DC – Metro Rail – Violinist
“I believe” speech from Bull Durham
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
Man of the Match:
Red Card:
Today on VSR –
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Before we go TOO much further, let’s roll with the news!
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
ABU DHABI, United Arab Emirates (AP) -- Can you break a $1 million?
A man from the Ivory Coast is in police custody in Abu Dhabi after allegedly persuading a woman to try to exchange two phony $1 million bills at the United Arab Emirates's Central Bank.
Police say the suspect promised the woman a 30 percent cut after the bills were traded - presumably for U.S. bills or UAE dirham. The suspect was identified in press reports Sunday only by the initials A.B. (Alec Baldwin, Albert Belle, Adrian Brody, Abigail Breslin???)
The phony notes feature the $1 portrait of George Washington and are mostly black and white on the front.
The National newspaper quotes Col. Rashid Mohammed Bursheed, the head of the organized crime unit, as saying the suspect claims he thought the bills were real.
SONORA, Calif. (AP) – Don’t mess with old dudes at a Garage Sale…A 70-year-old yard sale shopper is facing charges after things apparently got a bit out of hand at a yard sale. Authorities said Jon Joslin was arrested on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon after he allegedly hit another man over the head with a cornbread pan at the sale Friday. A sheriff's spokesman said Joslin hit the fellow shopper with a five-pound, cast iron pan to prevent him from getting to the sale first.
It seems the two men arrived early at the yard sale and were walking up a long driveway when Joslin first attempted to trip 64-year-old Joseph Brown.
Brown suffered a head laceration but refused medical treatment. Fortunately not all was lost, as the plot for Grumpy Old Men 3 now practically writes itself.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on the Boys…
Shek Republic in a Week – Episode 4 – Who is your hero, and why? (Clip 78)
Shek Republic in a Week:
1. How were you introduced to Dave Dameshek?
2. What is your take on mustard?
3. Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
4. Who is your hero and why?
5. What's the most interesting thing you could wish for?
The Moth – Michaela Murphy - All-Star game story (Clip 72) (16:30)
Time waster topics, if needed:
(Clip 10)
Great Moments in the history of BlogTalk Radio – Ed’s Dog story (Clip 48)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Frou Frou – Holding out for a Hero (Clip 91)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Extra Stuff and things for the future:
Top 7 Bad Euphemisms:
-Friendly Fire
-Flight Attendant
-To Pass Away
-Putting a dog to sleep
-Gentleman’s Club
-For Mature Audiences
-Big Boned
-Full Figured
-In a Family Way
-Laid Off
Deaths:
Puritans – Not so nice to the dead all the time. (Talk about the burial ground)
Who’s death would cause the biggest world wide sadness?
Pooping in public: No shame, or hide your feet? (Clip 81 – MM’s rap)
Top 7 NFL Uniforms:
1. Raiders
2. Packers
3. Colts
4. Giants
5. Cowboys
6. Steelers
7. Chargers
Top 7 Video Game Characters
Emmitt Smith flubs
Top 7 VSR Intros
DC – Metro Rail – Violinist
“I believe” speech from Bull Durham
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
Man of the Match:
Red Card:
Show Prep 70
Greetings and Salutations, people. , This is Vertically Striped Radio. I am your host, Craig Dodge. (Tell the story of the softball team in the park with batter intro music)
Today on VSR –
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Before we go TOO much further, let’s roll with the news!
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
HOLYOKE, Mass. (AP) -- A Massachusetts man was arrested after a kilogram of cocaine hidden inside a hollowed-out chunk of bologna was delivered to his home. Holyoke police said they were tipped off by postal inspectors in Puerto Rico who had been investigating similar shipments. A dog confirmed the presence of drugs and the bologna was cut open.
The meat was then repackaged and an undercover postal inspector delivered it to a Holyoke address at about 4:45 p.m. Thursday. A woman sitting on the front steps signed for it.
Police then executed a search warrant and arrested a 30-year-old man on a cocaine trafficking charge.
Police said the cocaine had a street value of $100,000. The investigation is ongoing.
PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- A police bomb squad had to be called to a Philadelphia construction site after someone found an old, inert torpedo.
PennDOT spokesman Charles Metzger says a transportation department archaeological team found two men sitting on the torpedo drinking beers on Friday morning. He says the men told the archaeologists they had found the munition.
Metzger says the dig team called police, who dispatched a bomb squad. The squad determined the torpedo was not explosive.
The construction site is related to an Interstate 95 interchange project in the city's Kensington neighborhood. It's close to the location of an old shipyard where warships were built during World War II.
Police say no charges are expected.
(Reuters) - British Airways apologized to passengers after an emergency message warning they were about to crash into the sea was played by mistake.
About 275 passengers were on the London Heathrow to Hong Kong flight on Tuesday evening when the automated message went out. The plane was flying over the North Sea at the time.
Cabin crew quickly realized the error and moved to reassure the terrified passengers.
"We all thought we were going to die," Michelle Lord, 32, of Preston, northern England, told The Sun newspaper.
Another passenger was reported saying: "I can't think of anything worse than being told your plane's about to crash."
A spokesman for British Airways said an investigation was under way to discover whether it was human error or a computer glitch.
"We apologize to passengers on board the flight for causing them undue distress," he added in a statement.
"Our cabin crew immediately made an announcement following the message advising customers that it was an error and that the flight would continue as normal."
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on the Boys…
Individual Defensive Players versus Team Defense
Individual Defensive players discussion…32 Team Fantasy Football League
Magnificent Seven: Top 7 Baseball Movies:
7. The Natural (Clip 67) – It’s good, but a little hokey. The real star of the movie is this (Clip 67 – The Natural Theme by Randy Newman) This music is amazing, you could read crop reports over this and they would be inspiring. Everything is over the top in this movie. Home Run balls are always smashing things, a light that gets hit in the outfield causes all the lights in the stadium to shatter and give off sparks for some reason. Roy Hobbs creates his own bat from a tree that was struck by lightning…It’s a little over the top, but it still manages to be good. One major taint…Glen Close. Ugh.
6. A League of their Own – A surprisingly terrific movie despite major involvements by both Rosie O’Donnell and Madonna. Geena Davis is great in this movie, and I have to admit when I watched it as a kid, I had a mad crush on her. Tom Hanks is also very good, “There’s no crying in baseball” Of course, one of the greatest small roles in movie history as well…Jon Lovitz as the scout.
5. Bad News Bears – (Clips 65 – Buttermaker passes out on the field, and then negotiates with Amanda
4. Major League – (Clip 64 – Montage)
3. Sandlot – (Clips 63) Wendy Pfeffercorn – 1. She knows exactly what she’s doing 2. Come on Squints! 3. He had kissed a woman
2. Bull Durham – Clips 62 – 1. Candlesticks, 2. I Believe, 3. Hit The Bull
1. Field of Dreams – Clips 61 – 1. Montage 2. Wanna have a catch
Shek Republic in a Week – Episode 4 – Who is your hero, and why? (Clip 78)
Shek Republic in a Week:
1. How were you introduced to Dave Dameshek?
2. What is your take on mustard?
3. Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
4. Who is your hero and why?
5. What's the most interesting thing you could wish for?
The Moth – Michaela Murphy - All-Star game story (Clip 72) (16:30)
Time waster topics, if needed:
(Clip 10)
Great Moments in the history of BlogTalk Radio – Ed’s Dog story (Clip 48)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Frou Frou – Holding out for a Hero (Clip 91)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Extra Stuff and things for the future:
Top 7 Bad Euphemisms:
-Friendly Fire
-Flight Attendant
-To Pass Away
-Putting a dog to sleep
-Gentleman’s Club
-For Mature Audiences
-Big Boned
-Full Figured
-In a Family Way
-Laid Off
Deaths:
Puritans – Not so nice to the dead all the time. (Talk about the burial ground)
Who’s death would cause the biggest world wide sadness?
Pooping in public: No shame, or hide your feet? (Clip 81 – MM’s rap)
Top 7 NFL Uniforms:
1. Raiders
2. Packers
3. Colts
4. Giants
5. Cowboys
6. Steelers
7. Chargers
Top 7 Video Game Characters
Emmitt Smith flubs
Top 7 VSR Intros
DC – Metro Rail – Violinist
“I believe” speech from Bull Durham
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
Man of the Match:
Red Card:
Today on VSR –
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Before we go TOO much further, let’s roll with the news!
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
HOLYOKE, Mass. (AP) -- A Massachusetts man was arrested after a kilogram of cocaine hidden inside a hollowed-out chunk of bologna was delivered to his home. Holyoke police said they were tipped off by postal inspectors in Puerto Rico who had been investigating similar shipments. A dog confirmed the presence of drugs and the bologna was cut open.
The meat was then repackaged and an undercover postal inspector delivered it to a Holyoke address at about 4:45 p.m. Thursday. A woman sitting on the front steps signed for it.
Police then executed a search warrant and arrested a 30-year-old man on a cocaine trafficking charge.
Police said the cocaine had a street value of $100,000. The investigation is ongoing.
PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- A police bomb squad had to be called to a Philadelphia construction site after someone found an old, inert torpedo.
PennDOT spokesman Charles Metzger says a transportation department archaeological team found two men sitting on the torpedo drinking beers on Friday morning. He says the men told the archaeologists they had found the munition.
Metzger says the dig team called police, who dispatched a bomb squad. The squad determined the torpedo was not explosive.
The construction site is related to an Interstate 95 interchange project in the city's Kensington neighborhood. It's close to the location of an old shipyard where warships were built during World War II.
Police say no charges are expected.
(Reuters) - British Airways apologized to passengers after an emergency message warning they were about to crash into the sea was played by mistake.
About 275 passengers were on the London Heathrow to Hong Kong flight on Tuesday evening when the automated message went out. The plane was flying over the North Sea at the time.
Cabin crew quickly realized the error and moved to reassure the terrified passengers.
"We all thought we were going to die," Michelle Lord, 32, of Preston, northern England, told The Sun newspaper.
Another passenger was reported saying: "I can't think of anything worse than being told your plane's about to crash."
A spokesman for British Airways said an investigation was under way to discover whether it was human error or a computer glitch.
"We apologize to passengers on board the flight for causing them undue distress," he added in a statement.
"Our cabin crew immediately made an announcement following the message advising customers that it was an error and that the flight would continue as normal."
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on the Boys…
Individual Defensive Players versus Team Defense
Individual Defensive players discussion…32 Team Fantasy Football League
Magnificent Seven: Top 7 Baseball Movies:
7. The Natural (Clip 67) – It’s good, but a little hokey. The real star of the movie is this (Clip 67 – The Natural Theme by Randy Newman) This music is amazing, you could read crop reports over this and they would be inspiring. Everything is over the top in this movie. Home Run balls are always smashing things, a light that gets hit in the outfield causes all the lights in the stadium to shatter and give off sparks for some reason. Roy Hobbs creates his own bat from a tree that was struck by lightning…It’s a little over the top, but it still manages to be good. One major taint…Glen Close. Ugh.
6. A League of their Own – A surprisingly terrific movie despite major involvements by both Rosie O’Donnell and Madonna. Geena Davis is great in this movie, and I have to admit when I watched it as a kid, I had a mad crush on her. Tom Hanks is also very good, “There’s no crying in baseball” Of course, one of the greatest small roles in movie history as well…Jon Lovitz as the scout.
5. Bad News Bears – (Clips 65 – Buttermaker passes out on the field, and then negotiates with Amanda
4. Major League – (Clip 64 – Montage)
3. Sandlot – (Clips 63) Wendy Pfeffercorn – 1. She knows exactly what she’s doing 2. Come on Squints! 3. He had kissed a woman
2. Bull Durham – Clips 62 – 1. Candlesticks, 2. I Believe, 3. Hit The Bull
1. Field of Dreams – Clips 61 – 1. Montage 2. Wanna have a catch
Shek Republic in a Week – Episode 4 – Who is your hero, and why? (Clip 78)
Shek Republic in a Week:
1. How were you introduced to Dave Dameshek?
2. What is your take on mustard?
3. Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
4. Who is your hero and why?
5. What's the most interesting thing you could wish for?
The Moth – Michaela Murphy - All-Star game story (Clip 72) (16:30)
Time waster topics, if needed:
(Clip 10)
Great Moments in the history of BlogTalk Radio – Ed’s Dog story (Clip 48)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Frou Frou – Holding out for a Hero (Clip 91)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Extra Stuff and things for the future:
Top 7 Bad Euphemisms:
-Friendly Fire
-Flight Attendant
-To Pass Away
-Putting a dog to sleep
-Gentleman’s Club
-For Mature Audiences
-Big Boned
-Full Figured
-In a Family Way
-Laid Off
Deaths:
Puritans – Not so nice to the dead all the time. (Talk about the burial ground)
Who’s death would cause the biggest world wide sadness?
Pooping in public: No shame, or hide your feet? (Clip 81 – MM’s rap)
Top 7 NFL Uniforms:
1. Raiders
2. Packers
3. Colts
4. Giants
5. Cowboys
6. Steelers
7. Chargers
Top 7 Video Game Characters
Emmitt Smith flubs
Top 7 VSR Intros
DC – Metro Rail – Violinist
“I believe” speech from Bull Durham
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
Man of the Match:
Red Card:
Show Prep 69
Greetings and Salutations, people. It’s the fake radio equivalent of Flo from Progressive, This is Vertically Striped Radio. I am your host, Craig Dodge. (Tell the story of the softball team in the park with batter intro music)
Today on VSR – I am going to try to explain why I hate professional wrestling…along with a shocking announcement of something akin to discovering the Lock Ness monster, Bigfoot, or an honest politician…I’m going to reveal something that I actually LIKE about pro wrestling. We have Episode 3 of the Shek Republic Life in a Week along with a late contribution to the effort that was pitched in this week that I am still trying to figure out how I feel about. Depending on how we are doing on time, I have figured out what went wrong with the audio clip of the Moth Podcast, so I time-permitting, I can play the story that I tried in vain to play three times on last week’s show. And of course, as always, I’ve got some news and music recommendations to roll through, so it should be another jam packed show.
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Before we go TOO much further, let’s roll with the news!
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
PORT ANGELES, Wash. (AP) -- Clallam County sheriff's deputies on Tuesday arrested a man dressed in a child's banana costume after he allegedly exposed himself to a woman at a Wendy’s in Port Angeles.
According to the Peninsula Daily News, Carlton Jeffery Kohnert, 21, is suspected of exposing himself to a woman at the Wendy's restaurant and then driving through Four Seasons Ranch brandishing a shotgun. He was arrested for investigation of reckless endangerment, aiming or discharging a weapon and indecent exposure.
A second man who was with Kohnert, Anthony Marks Maybury, 21, was arrested for investigation of reckless endangerment.
Pieper said Kohnert didn't offer much of an explanation for the yellow banana costume. "All we know is he was drinking earlier in the day, but he didn't really have a reason for the costume," Pieper told the Daily News.
After the alleged incident in Port Angeles, the suspects stopped at Four Seasons Ranch, where Kohnert -- still dressed in the banana costume -- got out, brandished a shotgun and began yelling, Pieper said.
Deputies arrested the men a short time later.
"The banana costume has been seized and put into evidence," Pieper said.
Okay, so usually I’m not in favor of drunk people brandishing weapons, but I will make exceptions, and one of those exeptions is when the guy doing this is dressed as a banana. The only thing that could make this story cooler is if the man was blasting THIS when he jumped out and exposed himself in his banana costume. (Peanut Butter Jelly Time - Clip 74)
SOUTHLAKE, Texas (AP) -- A Texas teenager who broke curfew is headed for a reluctant adventure in baby-sitting.
Robert Rausch placed an advertisement offering his daughter's free baby-sitting services in the community newspaper in Southlake, a wealthy suburb of Dallas-Fort Worth that is home to business leaders and professional athletes.
The advertisement names Rausch's 16-year-old-daughter and says, "Want a FREE BABYSITTER for a night out?" It explains that she is in trouble for missing her curfew and offers 30 hours of free baby-sitting.
Rausch says he wanted to discipline his daughter and help others at the same time. And it appears his daughter has already learned a lesson. She says she won't violate curfew again.
Lilly, FRANCE (Reuters) – Funerals for family members are never easy, but a French woman recently went through an ordeal that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. The woman, at the cemetery to bury her recently deceased brother discovered that unbeknownst to her or anyone else in her family, her 42-year-old son had recently died and been buried in the same cemetery. She had tried to invite her son to his uncle’s funeral ceremony a few days before, to no avail, and had thought he was ignoring her after a argument.
The family was leaving the cemetery near Lilly, Wednesday when one of them noticed a temporary wooden gravestone bearing the son's name and date of birth in an area reserved for poor people.
"In two or three seconds, everybody started to scream, The mother collapsed. From the unexpected strain, she buries her brother and unexpectedly finds her kid in a grave near him. It's unthinkable," said a family member in attendance.
The mother, Josiane Ver-mersh said she had tried to contact her son and was wondering why he wouldn’t return her calls.
"Someone hasn't done their job," she told news channel I-Tele. "I demand explanations," Ver-mersh said, adding it was unbelievable in a time of modern technology that nobody had attempted to contact the family.
Citing the funeral parlor that buried the man, the local newspaper said it was not uncommon for families not to be informed if there is no immediate contact address.
French law stipulates that a burial must take place within six days of a death.
So, no matter how tough this past week was for you, I’m guessing Mrs. Ver-mersh had it worse. Worst. Funeral. Ever.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Play ad from our new sponsor…(Clip 73)
Bring on the Boys…
Individual Defensive Players versus Team Defense
Individual Defensive players discussion…32 Team Fantasy Football League
Shek Republic in a Week – Episode 3 – Who is the most beautiful woman in the world? (Clip 77)
Shek Republic in a Week:
1. How were you introduced to Dave Dameshek?
2. What is your take on mustard?
3. Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
4. Who is your hero and why?
5. What's the most interesting thing you could wish for?
Major Minorities contribution…or rather “Luke Dodge’s” contribution…(Clip 78)
Time waster topics, if needed:
(Clip 10)
Great Moments in the history of BlogTalk Radio – Ed’s Dog story (Clip 48)
Broncos recap- Against the Bengals
Carmelo Anthony situation
Why I hate Pro Wrestling:
1. Many (Not all) of it’s fans are how can I say this delicately…Um, socially awkward?
“It’s still real to me, Damnit!” (Clip 60)
2. I love our country, and think it’s the tops…Best nation in the world, but Wrestling is the perfect amalgamation of all the things that I dislike about America: Loud, Bombastic, Completely lacking in any kind of subtlety or nuance, over-hyped, Violence for violence sake, and most of all it’s just mind numbingly dumb. Of all of it’s sins, it’s overt stupidity is maybe the most egregious.
3. Nearly naked men in brash flamboyant costumes…Sorry, I’m straight.
4. I can put up with anything, so long as it is what it is. I value things that are genuine and real. I like people who are introspective and own who they are. Authenticity is one of the things which I value over all else…and at it’s core, Pro
Wrestling is a fake version of a real sport.
5. Melodrama? I love nuance and well told stories. Melodrama is ridiculous. Do I need a guy wearing a black costume to figure out who the bad guy is and who the good guy is? For that matter, do I need a good guy and a bad guy?
6. When I was in Junior High, way too many of my friends thought that a good time was to pretend to be wrestlers and pretend to do their moves. Even at the time, I thought this was ridiculous, and I stand by that opinion. If I never see another person thump the underside of their elbow saying they’re getting ready to do some sort of flying elbow, it’ll be too soon.
7. Bad Promos – (Jumping Jeff Farmer – Clip 63)
7. I do want to say not everything about wrestling makes me insane…I could listen to Scott Hall do his Razor Ramon character for hours. (Clip 61)
8. The Rock – I hate the Rock…Just watching through some YouTube clips of him last night made me feel dumber. If you do nothing other than yell out a dumb catch phrase about cooking, raise your eyebrow and constantly refer to your fake wrestling name in the third person...and that fake name starts with “The?” I can’t support that level of stupidity mixed with douche-baggery…all in a character with a cooking catch phrase and a complete inability to say the word “me”
9. The Ultimate Warrior??? Seriously, what the hell? His promos are an odd combination of snoring, wheezing, yelling, and incomprehensible whispering. This guy was one of the most popular of all time? Is there such a thing as awake apnea? He may be the first human in recorded history who needs to wear a C-PAP machine when he’s awake. (Clip 62)
The Moth – Michaela Murphy - All-Star game story (Clip 72) (16:30)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Silversun Pickups – “Lazy Eye” (Album: Carnavas) (Clip 80)
“That’s a man, baby!” (Clip 88)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Extra Stuff and things for the future:
Top 7 Bad Euphemisms:
-Friendly Fire
-Flight Attendant
-To Pass Away
-Putting a dog to sleep
-Gentleman’s Club
-For Mature Audiences
-Big Boned
-Full Figured
-In a Family Way
-Laid Off
Deaths:
Puritans – Not so nice to the dead all the time. (Talk about the burial ground)
Who’s death would cause the biggest world wide sadness?
Pooping in public: No shame, or hide your feet? (Clip 81 – MM’s rap)
Top 7 NFL Uniforms:
1. Raiders
2. Packers
3. Colts
4. Giants
5. Cowboys
6. Steelers
7. Chargers
Top 7 Video Game Characters
Emmitt Smith flubs
Top 7 VSR Intros
DC – Metro Rail – Violinist
“I believe” speech from Bull Durham
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
Man of the Match:
Red Card:
Today on VSR – I am going to try to explain why I hate professional wrestling…along with a shocking announcement of something akin to discovering the Lock Ness monster, Bigfoot, or an honest politician…I’m going to reveal something that I actually LIKE about pro wrestling. We have Episode 3 of the Shek Republic Life in a Week along with a late contribution to the effort that was pitched in this week that I am still trying to figure out how I feel about. Depending on how we are doing on time, I have figured out what went wrong with the audio clip of the Moth Podcast, so I time-permitting, I can play the story that I tried in vain to play three times on last week’s show. And of course, as always, I’ve got some news and music recommendations to roll through, so it should be another jam packed show.
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Before we go TOO much further, let’s roll with the news!
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
PORT ANGELES, Wash. (AP) -- Clallam County sheriff's deputies on Tuesday arrested a man dressed in a child's banana costume after he allegedly exposed himself to a woman at a Wendy’s in Port Angeles.
According to the Peninsula Daily News, Carlton Jeffery Kohnert, 21, is suspected of exposing himself to a woman at the Wendy's restaurant and then driving through Four Seasons Ranch brandishing a shotgun. He was arrested for investigation of reckless endangerment, aiming or discharging a weapon and indecent exposure.
A second man who was with Kohnert, Anthony Marks Maybury, 21, was arrested for investigation of reckless endangerment.
Pieper said Kohnert didn't offer much of an explanation for the yellow banana costume. "All we know is he was drinking earlier in the day, but he didn't really have a reason for the costume," Pieper told the Daily News.
After the alleged incident in Port Angeles, the suspects stopped at Four Seasons Ranch, where Kohnert -- still dressed in the banana costume -- got out, brandished a shotgun and began yelling, Pieper said.
Deputies arrested the men a short time later.
"The banana costume has been seized and put into evidence," Pieper said.
Okay, so usually I’m not in favor of drunk people brandishing weapons, but I will make exceptions, and one of those exeptions is when the guy doing this is dressed as a banana. The only thing that could make this story cooler is if the man was blasting THIS when he jumped out and exposed himself in his banana costume. (Peanut Butter Jelly Time - Clip 74)
SOUTHLAKE, Texas (AP) -- A Texas teenager who broke curfew is headed for a reluctant adventure in baby-sitting.
Robert Rausch placed an advertisement offering his daughter's free baby-sitting services in the community newspaper in Southlake, a wealthy suburb of Dallas-Fort Worth that is home to business leaders and professional athletes.
The advertisement names Rausch's 16-year-old-daughter and says, "Want a FREE BABYSITTER for a night out?" It explains that she is in trouble for missing her curfew and offers 30 hours of free baby-sitting.
Rausch says he wanted to discipline his daughter and help others at the same time. And it appears his daughter has already learned a lesson. She says she won't violate curfew again.
Lilly, FRANCE (Reuters) – Funerals for family members are never easy, but a French woman recently went through an ordeal that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. The woman, at the cemetery to bury her recently deceased brother discovered that unbeknownst to her or anyone else in her family, her 42-year-old son had recently died and been buried in the same cemetery. She had tried to invite her son to his uncle’s funeral ceremony a few days before, to no avail, and had thought he was ignoring her after a argument.
The family was leaving the cemetery near Lilly, Wednesday when one of them noticed a temporary wooden gravestone bearing the son's name and date of birth in an area reserved for poor people.
"In two or three seconds, everybody started to scream, The mother collapsed. From the unexpected strain, she buries her brother and unexpectedly finds her kid in a grave near him. It's unthinkable," said a family member in attendance.
The mother, Josiane Ver-mersh said she had tried to contact her son and was wondering why he wouldn’t return her calls.
"Someone hasn't done their job," she told news channel I-Tele. "I demand explanations," Ver-mersh said, adding it was unbelievable in a time of modern technology that nobody had attempted to contact the family.
Citing the funeral parlor that buried the man, the local newspaper said it was not uncommon for families not to be informed if there is no immediate contact address.
French law stipulates that a burial must take place within six days of a death.
So, no matter how tough this past week was for you, I’m guessing Mrs. Ver-mersh had it worse. Worst. Funeral. Ever.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Play ad from our new sponsor…(Clip 73)
Bring on the Boys…
Individual Defensive Players versus Team Defense
Individual Defensive players discussion…32 Team Fantasy Football League
Shek Republic in a Week – Episode 3 – Who is the most beautiful woman in the world? (Clip 77)
Shek Republic in a Week:
1. How were you introduced to Dave Dameshek?
2. What is your take on mustard?
3. Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
4. Who is your hero and why?
5. What's the most interesting thing you could wish for?
Major Minorities contribution…or rather “Luke Dodge’s” contribution…(Clip 78)
Time waster topics, if needed:
(Clip 10)
Great Moments in the history of BlogTalk Radio – Ed’s Dog story (Clip 48)
Broncos recap- Against the Bengals
Carmelo Anthony situation
Why I hate Pro Wrestling:
1. Many (Not all) of it’s fans are how can I say this delicately…Um, socially awkward?
“It’s still real to me, Damnit!” (Clip 60)
2. I love our country, and think it’s the tops…Best nation in the world, but Wrestling is the perfect amalgamation of all the things that I dislike about America: Loud, Bombastic, Completely lacking in any kind of subtlety or nuance, over-hyped, Violence for violence sake, and most of all it’s just mind numbingly dumb. Of all of it’s sins, it’s overt stupidity is maybe the most egregious.
3. Nearly naked men in brash flamboyant costumes…Sorry, I’m straight.
4. I can put up with anything, so long as it is what it is. I value things that are genuine and real. I like people who are introspective and own who they are. Authenticity is one of the things which I value over all else…and at it’s core, Pro
Wrestling is a fake version of a real sport.
5. Melodrama? I love nuance and well told stories. Melodrama is ridiculous. Do I need a guy wearing a black costume to figure out who the bad guy is and who the good guy is? For that matter, do I need a good guy and a bad guy?
6. When I was in Junior High, way too many of my friends thought that a good time was to pretend to be wrestlers and pretend to do their moves. Even at the time, I thought this was ridiculous, and I stand by that opinion. If I never see another person thump the underside of their elbow saying they’re getting ready to do some sort of flying elbow, it’ll be too soon.
7. Bad Promos – (Jumping Jeff Farmer – Clip 63)
7. I do want to say not everything about wrestling makes me insane…I could listen to Scott Hall do his Razor Ramon character for hours. (Clip 61)
8. The Rock – I hate the Rock…Just watching through some YouTube clips of him last night made me feel dumber. If you do nothing other than yell out a dumb catch phrase about cooking, raise your eyebrow and constantly refer to your fake wrestling name in the third person...and that fake name starts with “The?” I can’t support that level of stupidity mixed with douche-baggery…all in a character with a cooking catch phrase and a complete inability to say the word “me”
9. The Ultimate Warrior??? Seriously, what the hell? His promos are an odd combination of snoring, wheezing, yelling, and incomprehensible whispering. This guy was one of the most popular of all time? Is there such a thing as awake apnea? He may be the first human in recorded history who needs to wear a C-PAP machine when he’s awake. (Clip 62)
The Moth – Michaela Murphy - All-Star game story (Clip 72) (16:30)
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
Silversun Pickups – “Lazy Eye” (Album: Carnavas) (Clip 80)
“That’s a man, baby!” (Clip 88)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Extra Stuff and things for the future:
Top 7 Bad Euphemisms:
-Friendly Fire
-Flight Attendant
-To Pass Away
-Putting a dog to sleep
-Gentleman’s Club
-For Mature Audiences
-Big Boned
-Full Figured
-In a Family Way
-Laid Off
Deaths:
Puritans – Not so nice to the dead all the time. (Talk about the burial ground)
Who’s death would cause the biggest world wide sadness?
Pooping in public: No shame, or hide your feet? (Clip 81 – MM’s rap)
Top 7 NFL Uniforms:
1. Raiders
2. Packers
3. Colts
4. Giants
5. Cowboys
6. Steelers
7. Chargers
Top 7 Video Game Characters
Emmitt Smith flubs
Top 7 VSR Intros
DC – Metro Rail – Violinist
“I believe” speech from Bull Durham
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
Man of the Match:
Red Card:
Show Prep 68
Greetings and Salutations, people.
Today on VSR – The Week in Wankery WILL happen this week…I promise! We’ll also have a Magnificent Seven list of the Top 7 Zoo animals, Episode 2 in our series “The Shek Republic in a Week” is ready to roll, I’m going to introduce you all to a podcast to which you MUST start listening, and I have a blooper that came from my buddy Doug as he was working dispatch for the Colorado State highway patrol. All this, plus music and the news, of course.
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Before we go TOO much further, let’s roll with the news!
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
BISMARCK, N.D. (AP) -- A North Dakota inmate was not afraid of making a spectacle of himself when he grabbed another suspect's glasses and started to eat them.
Burleigh County Sheriff's Maj. Les Witkowski says the 42-year-old inmate at the county detention center became frustrated Aug. 1 when he was not able to talk to the chaplain, so he swallowed both lenses and a piece of the metal frame.
He had been booked on an aggravated assault charge just five hours earlier.
Witkowski says the inmate was taken to a hospital emergency room but was returned to jail after doctors determined he was OK.
The glasses were worth $250. Authorities are considering a criminal mischief charge against him.
BALTIMORE (AP) -- A Baltimore man has been sentenced to a year and a half in jail for faking seizures to get out of paying restaurant bills. City prosecutors said 43-year-old Andrew Palmer pleaded guilty last week to one count of theft scheme, and a judge agreed to impose an 18-month sentence - the maximum Palmer could have received.
Prosecutors said Palmer ate and drank at several restaurants between April and July, and when he couldn't pay, he would feign a seizure that required medical personnel to respond. The maximum penalty for each individual offense was 90 days in jail because the value of each meal was less than $100.
Court records show Palmer has a long criminal record that includes 40 convictions for theft and dozens more arrests.
DAVENPORT, Iowa (AP) -- Maybe he was testing a new recipe.
Chef Christopher Turla earned his Davenport, Iowa restaurant a $335 ticket Wednesday after health inspectors saw a video of him kissing and licking toads in the kitchen.
The video shows the chef with two small toads on a kitchen prep table at the restaurant Osaka. He kisses the toads a few times, licks them, then stuffs them in his mouth.
Turla says it was just a joke. But the Scott County Health Department isn't laughing.
Food inspector Lindsay Gorishek says toads carry several diseases and that Turla had the toads in his mouth and then back in his hands on the prep table.
Restaurant owner Yidi When says he'll pay the ticket. He also says Turla is just a funny guy who needs some more training about restaurant sanitation.
BOSTON (AP) – After seeing his health quickly deteriorate over a number of days, 75 year old Ron Sveden feared the worst, The former teacher, who also had spent years running a retail fish market and smokehouse, had seen his already-frail health begin to falter further in prior months. He already knew he had emphysema but lately was having bad coughing spells.
"Everything seemed to be going downhill," said Sveden, of Brewster. "I seemed to be tired a lot more. I didn't want to do too much. My appetite was diminishing."
The news sounded even more dire when he was told at the hospital that he was dehydrated and suffering from pneumonia. Then came X-rays showing a small but ominous dark spot. His doctors decided their only option was to go inside and see for themselves.
"There was a lot of inflammation there and I thought, OK, there's a tumor at the bottom of this," said Dr. Jeff Spillane, who went in with a scope.
But the more Spillane probed at the encrusted mass, the clearer it became that it was no tumor.
"It was pretty grungy, but it looked like a pea," Spillane said. "I sent it to the pathologist. They said it was a vegetable."
It took less than half an hour to clear away the sprout, drain some of the fluid that had built up around it, and help restore the lung's capacity.
When Ron awoke from surgery he was treated to a very unusual diagnosis. Ron didn't have cancer. He had a pea sprouting inside his chest.
"A couple days in a dark, wet environment, I'd sprout too," Dr. Jeff Spillane said Thursday. "It definitely had a sprout."
It was a long way from the diagnosis Sveden, 75, had feared when he arrived at Cape Cod Hospital on Memorial Day weekend.
After his surgery in June, Sveden spent three weeks in the hospital and a week in rehab. He said he feels fine now and is still amazed by that something as small as a pea could create such a big health headache.
Doctors say it's not unusual for a patient to accidentally inhale a small object, it is unusual however to have that item lodge itself in your lung and start growing. Just further proof that no matter what health nuts tell you…Vegetables CAN kill you.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Doug’s Oops – Do you want Sex? (Clip 73)
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Title Closer who required that our appraisal read Pike’s instead of Pikes
-“Have you dined with us before?” Waiter
-Douche in Target who “Sprained his ankle” and was making a mountain out of the molehill.
-The people who made “Cats and Dogs 2: Revenge of Kitty Galore”
Man of the Match: People with the last name Dameshek – Looks like VSR is going to have both Brandon Dameshek and Dave Dameshek on to yap at some point this month, as both have agreed to appear. I’m still working out the details with both of them, but that is clearly good news for this esteemed program.
Red Card:
-Advertisements against Meth on Blogtalkradio.com – “Meth - Not even once” Look, I’m all for awareness, but these pictures of these supposed Meth addicts would give Zombies nightmares. As I’m doing prep by uploading audio to Blogtalk, I do NOT need my kids walking by and getting these images stuck in their heads, and end up having nightmares.
Shek Republic in a Week – Episode 2 – What is your take on Mustard?
(Episode 2 – Clip 78)
Magnificent Seven – 7 best animals at the zoo. (Clip 7)
Honorable Mentions:
Rhino, Penguin, Zebra, Monkeys, Sea Lion, Grizzly Bear, Warthog, Lion
7. Hippo
6. Polar Bear
5. Anteater – Jackie Mason and Dean Martin
4. Gorilla
3. Giraffe
2. Tiger
1. Elephant
Grasshopper infestation and Broncos injuries…Is Denver plagued?
Shek Republic in a Week:
1. How were you introduced to Dave Dameshek?
2. What is your take on mustard?
3. Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
4. Who is your hero and why?
5. What's the most interesting thing you could wish for?
The Moth – Michaela Murphy - All-Star game story (Clip 72) (16:30)
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
The Suburbs – Arcade Fire
Half Light II (No Celebration) (Clip 91)
“Pray to God that I won’t see, the death of everything that’s wild.”
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Top 7 Bad Euphemisms:
-Friendly Fire
-Flight Attendant
-To Pass Away
-Putting a dog to sleep
-Gentleman’s Club
-For Mature Audiences
-Big Boned
-Full Figured
-In a Family Way
-Laid Off
Deaths:
Puritans – Not so nice to the dead all the time. (Talk about the burial ground)
Who’s death would cause the biggest world wide sadness?
Pooping in public: No shame, or hide your feet? (Clip 81 – MM’s rap)
Today on VSR – The Week in Wankery WILL happen this week…I promise! We’ll also have a Magnificent Seven list of the Top 7 Zoo animals, Episode 2 in our series “The Shek Republic in a Week” is ready to roll, I’m going to introduce you all to a podcast to which you MUST start listening, and I have a blooper that came from my buddy Doug as he was working dispatch for the Colorado State highway patrol. All this, plus music and the news, of course.
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Before we go TOO much further, let’s roll with the news!
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
BISMARCK, N.D. (AP) -- A North Dakota inmate was not afraid of making a spectacle of himself when he grabbed another suspect's glasses and started to eat them.
Burleigh County Sheriff's Maj. Les Witkowski says the 42-year-old inmate at the county detention center became frustrated Aug. 1 when he was not able to talk to the chaplain, so he swallowed both lenses and a piece of the metal frame.
He had been booked on an aggravated assault charge just five hours earlier.
Witkowski says the inmate was taken to a hospital emergency room but was returned to jail after doctors determined he was OK.
The glasses were worth $250. Authorities are considering a criminal mischief charge against him.
BALTIMORE (AP) -- A Baltimore man has been sentenced to a year and a half in jail for faking seizures to get out of paying restaurant bills. City prosecutors said 43-year-old Andrew Palmer pleaded guilty last week to one count of theft scheme, and a judge agreed to impose an 18-month sentence - the maximum Palmer could have received.
Prosecutors said Palmer ate and drank at several restaurants between April and July, and when he couldn't pay, he would feign a seizure that required medical personnel to respond. The maximum penalty for each individual offense was 90 days in jail because the value of each meal was less than $100.
Court records show Palmer has a long criminal record that includes 40 convictions for theft and dozens more arrests.
DAVENPORT, Iowa (AP) -- Maybe he was testing a new recipe.
Chef Christopher Turla earned his Davenport, Iowa restaurant a $335 ticket Wednesday after health inspectors saw a video of him kissing and licking toads in the kitchen.
The video shows the chef with two small toads on a kitchen prep table at the restaurant Osaka. He kisses the toads a few times, licks them, then stuffs them in his mouth.
Turla says it was just a joke. But the Scott County Health Department isn't laughing.
Food inspector Lindsay Gorishek says toads carry several diseases and that Turla had the toads in his mouth and then back in his hands on the prep table.
Restaurant owner Yidi When says he'll pay the ticket. He also says Turla is just a funny guy who needs some more training about restaurant sanitation.
BOSTON (AP) – After seeing his health quickly deteriorate over a number of days, 75 year old Ron Sveden feared the worst, The former teacher, who also had spent years running a retail fish market and smokehouse, had seen his already-frail health begin to falter further in prior months. He already knew he had emphysema but lately was having bad coughing spells.
"Everything seemed to be going downhill," said Sveden, of Brewster. "I seemed to be tired a lot more. I didn't want to do too much. My appetite was diminishing."
The news sounded even more dire when he was told at the hospital that he was dehydrated and suffering from pneumonia. Then came X-rays showing a small but ominous dark spot. His doctors decided their only option was to go inside and see for themselves.
"There was a lot of inflammation there and I thought, OK, there's a tumor at the bottom of this," said Dr. Jeff Spillane, who went in with a scope.
But the more Spillane probed at the encrusted mass, the clearer it became that it was no tumor.
"It was pretty grungy, but it looked like a pea," Spillane said. "I sent it to the pathologist. They said it was a vegetable."
It took less than half an hour to clear away the sprout, drain some of the fluid that had built up around it, and help restore the lung's capacity.
When Ron awoke from surgery he was treated to a very unusual diagnosis. Ron didn't have cancer. He had a pea sprouting inside his chest.
"A couple days in a dark, wet environment, I'd sprout too," Dr. Jeff Spillane said Thursday. "It definitely had a sprout."
It was a long way from the diagnosis Sveden, 75, had feared when he arrived at Cape Cod Hospital on Memorial Day weekend.
After his surgery in June, Sveden spent three weeks in the hospital and a week in rehab. He said he feels fine now and is still amazed by that something as small as a pea could create such a big health headache.
Doctors say it's not unusual for a patient to accidentally inhale a small object, it is unusual however to have that item lodge itself in your lung and start growing. Just further proof that no matter what health nuts tell you…Vegetables CAN kill you.
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Doug’s Oops – Do you want Sex? (Clip 73)
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Title Closer who required that our appraisal read Pike’s instead of Pikes
-“Have you dined with us before?” Waiter
-Douche in Target who “Sprained his ankle” and was making a mountain out of the molehill.
-The people who made “Cats and Dogs 2: Revenge of Kitty Galore”
Man of the Match: People with the last name Dameshek – Looks like VSR is going to have both Brandon Dameshek and Dave Dameshek on to yap at some point this month, as both have agreed to appear. I’m still working out the details with both of them, but that is clearly good news for this esteemed program.
Red Card:
-Advertisements against Meth on Blogtalkradio.com – “Meth - Not even once” Look, I’m all for awareness, but these pictures of these supposed Meth addicts would give Zombies nightmares. As I’m doing prep by uploading audio to Blogtalk, I do NOT need my kids walking by and getting these images stuck in their heads, and end up having nightmares.
Shek Republic in a Week – Episode 2 – What is your take on Mustard?
(Episode 2 – Clip 78)
Magnificent Seven – 7 best animals at the zoo. (Clip 7)
Honorable Mentions:
Rhino, Penguin, Zebra, Monkeys, Sea Lion, Grizzly Bear, Warthog, Lion
7. Hippo
6. Polar Bear
5. Anteater – Jackie Mason and Dean Martin
4. Gorilla
3. Giraffe
2. Tiger
1. Elephant
Grasshopper infestation and Broncos injuries…Is Denver plagued?
Shek Republic in a Week:
1. How were you introduced to Dave Dameshek?
2. What is your take on mustard?
3. Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
4. Who is your hero and why?
5. What's the most interesting thing you could wish for?
The Moth – Michaela Murphy - All-Star game story (Clip 72) (16:30)
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
The Suburbs – Arcade Fire
Half Light II (No Celebration) (Clip 91)
“Pray to God that I won’t see, the death of everything that’s wild.”
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Top 7 Bad Euphemisms:
-Friendly Fire
-Flight Attendant
-To Pass Away
-Putting a dog to sleep
-Gentleman’s Club
-For Mature Audiences
-Big Boned
-Full Figured
-In a Family Way
-Laid Off
Deaths:
Puritans – Not so nice to the dead all the time. (Talk about the burial ground)
Who’s death would cause the biggest world wide sadness?
Pooping in public: No shame, or hide your feet? (Clip 81 – MM’s rap)
Show Prep 67
Greetings and Salutations, people.
Today on VSR –
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- After a county inspector squeezed out a kid's lemonade business, so many Oregonians puckered up in disgust that the county chairman had to pour on a little sugar.
The apology sweetened up some sour feelings and made 7-year-old Julie Murphy eligible to resume selling her Kool-Aid and water concoction for 50 cents a cup.
Last week at a local arts fair, Julie and her mother were surprised when a county inspector asked to see their restaurant license.
They didn't have one. The inspector told them they would face a fine of up to $500 if they didn't stop selling lemonade.
Other vendors urged Julie and her mother not to leave. A second inspector arrived and the two inspectors were surrounded by a crowd of vendors supporting Julie and her mother.
Ultimately, Julie and her mother packed up the stand, and as Julie left the fair she was crying.
But Julie has prevailed.
Jeff Cogen, chairman of Multnomah County, says the health inspectors were "just following the rule book" but they should have given the girl and her mom a break. On Thursday, he talked with Julie's mom to apologize.
"A lemonade stand is a classic, iconic American kid thing to do," Cogen told The Oregonian. "I don't want to be in the business of shutting that down."
LOCKPORT, N.Y. (AP) -- Authorities trying to solve a shooting in New York have zeroed in on identical twin brothers - but now they have to figure out which one to charge.
A prosecutor on Wednesday won the right to photograph 31-year-old Niagara Falls residents Edward and Raymond Nickens with their shirts on and off to see which one might match a witness' description in the May shooting.
The brothers wore matching clothes and goatees in court. But tattoos visible on their arms were different.
Edward Nickens' attorney argued photos should be taken after charges are filed. Raymond Nickens' attorney said police have already taken pictures.
But the judge allowed the photo session after the Niagara County prosecutor said the brothers could change their appearances to look even more alike.
ROCKFORD, Michigan (Reuters) - A Michigan man credited his dog with saving his life by chewing off his diseased big toe as he lay passed out in a drunken stupor.
Jerry Douthett, 48, woke up on a Saturday night in late July in his Rockford, Michigan home to find his Jack Russell Terrier, Kiko, had gnawed off his right big toe.
"The dog always lays with me on the bed," said Douthett. "That night, I woke up and looked down at my foot, and it was wet. When I looked it was blood, and there was the dog looking at me with a blood mustache."
Douthett's wife, Rosee, rushed him to a hospital where doctors found he was suffering from Type 2 diabetes. His toe was badly infected and surgeons amputated the remainder of the digit.
Douthett's wife, a registered nurse, had been urging him for weeks to have his infected toe examined by a doctor.
On the night Kiko ate his toe, Douthett said he had been out with his wife and drank about "six or seven beers" and a pair of giant margaritas "big enough to put goldfish in."
"I was self-medicating at this point," he said. "The moral of the story is that the dog saved my life, because otherwise I never would have gone in to see a doctor."
The couple said they were amazed that Kiko appeared to know Douthett had an infection that needed treatment.
"He kind of chewed off the infected part and stopped at the good bone," said Rosee. "We joked that we shouldn't have had to pay the co-pay because he did half the job by chewing off half of the toe."
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on the boys…
The Duel – Mike Ditka vs. Luke Dodge in a battle that may be the most embarrassing beat down for Ditka since this classic exchange. (Clip 75 – Ditka Juicebox) Ditka (Clip 73) Luke (Clip 72)
Magnificent 7: Top Seven Goofy uniforms in sports history.
Honorable Mention:
-Canadiens - Throwbacks from last season – Striped Pajama look
-Packers – New Throwback uniforms – Blue Jersey with Yellow Circle in the middle with a number, and a brown helmet to simulate a leather helmet, and kahki pants.
7. Padres – Camo Unis
6. Mighty Ducks – Alternate Jersey (Cartoon Duck Jumping out of the Ice) (1995-96)
5. Seahawks – Snot green uniform (2009)
4. White Sox – Shorts 1976 (August 8th, 1976 – 34 years ago tomorrow)
3. Blues – Trumpet Uniform (1995-96)
2. Canucks – V Uniforms (1978-85)
1. Broncos – VSS Uniforms
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Title Closer who required that our appraisal read Pike’s instead of Pikes
-“Have you dined with us before?” Waiter
Man of the Match: People with the last name Dameshek – Looks like VSR is going to have both Brandon Dameshek and Dave Dameshek on to yap at some point this month, as both have agreed to appear. I’m still working out the details with both of them, but that is clearly good news for this esteemed program.
Red Card:
-Douche in Target who “Sprained his ankle” and was making a mountain out of the molehill.
Shek Republic in a Week - (How’d you come to learn of Dameshek?)
(Intro – Clip 76; Episode 1 – Clip 77)
Shek Republic in a Week:
1. How were you introduced to Dave Dameshek?
2. What is your take on mustard?
3. Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
4. Who is your hero and why?
5. What's the most interesting thing you could wish for?
I’ve found the new theme song for Slammed! –
(Clip 51)
Song: Gonna be so drunk
Band: We wrote the book on Connectors
The Moth – Michaela Murphy - All-Star game story (Clip 72) (16:30)
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
The Suburbs – Arcade Fire
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Top 7 Bad Euphemisms:
-Friendly Fire
-Flight Attendant
-To Pass Away
-Putting a dog to sleep
-Gentleman’s Club
-For Mature Audiences
-Big Boned
-Full Figured
-In a Family Way
-Laid Off
Deaths:
Puritans – Not so nice to the dead all the time. (Talk about the burial ground)
Who’s death would cause the biggest world wide sadness?
Pooping in public: No shame, or hide your feet? (Clip 81 – MM’s rap)
Today on VSR –
Give out the phone number - (646) 716-6831 OR 6-HOP-1-MOVE-1
To contact VSR via email:
Email address: radio@verticallystripedsocks.com
Let’s get to the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- After a county inspector squeezed out a kid's lemonade business, so many Oregonians puckered up in disgust that the county chairman had to pour on a little sugar.
The apology sweetened up some sour feelings and made 7-year-old Julie Murphy eligible to resume selling her Kool-Aid and water concoction for 50 cents a cup.
Last week at a local arts fair, Julie and her mother were surprised when a county inspector asked to see their restaurant license.
They didn't have one. The inspector told them they would face a fine of up to $500 if they didn't stop selling lemonade.
Other vendors urged Julie and her mother not to leave. A second inspector arrived and the two inspectors were surrounded by a crowd of vendors supporting Julie and her mother.
Ultimately, Julie and her mother packed up the stand, and as Julie left the fair she was crying.
But Julie has prevailed.
Jeff Cogen, chairman of Multnomah County, says the health inspectors were "just following the rule book" but they should have given the girl and her mom a break. On Thursday, he talked with Julie's mom to apologize.
"A lemonade stand is a classic, iconic American kid thing to do," Cogen told The Oregonian. "I don't want to be in the business of shutting that down."
LOCKPORT, N.Y. (AP) -- Authorities trying to solve a shooting in New York have zeroed in on identical twin brothers - but now they have to figure out which one to charge.
A prosecutor on Wednesday won the right to photograph 31-year-old Niagara Falls residents Edward and Raymond Nickens with their shirts on and off to see which one might match a witness' description in the May shooting.
The brothers wore matching clothes and goatees in court. But tattoos visible on their arms were different.
Edward Nickens' attorney argued photos should be taken after charges are filed. Raymond Nickens' attorney said police have already taken pictures.
But the judge allowed the photo session after the Niagara County prosecutor said the brothers could change their appearances to look even more alike.
ROCKFORD, Michigan (Reuters) - A Michigan man credited his dog with saving his life by chewing off his diseased big toe as he lay passed out in a drunken stupor.
Jerry Douthett, 48, woke up on a Saturday night in late July in his Rockford, Michigan home to find his Jack Russell Terrier, Kiko, had gnawed off his right big toe.
"The dog always lays with me on the bed," said Douthett. "That night, I woke up and looked down at my foot, and it was wet. When I looked it was blood, and there was the dog looking at me with a blood mustache."
Douthett's wife, Rosee, rushed him to a hospital where doctors found he was suffering from Type 2 diabetes. His toe was badly infected and surgeons amputated the remainder of the digit.
Douthett's wife, a registered nurse, had been urging him for weeks to have his infected toe examined by a doctor.
On the night Kiko ate his toe, Douthett said he had been out with his wife and drank about "six or seven beers" and a pair of giant margaritas "big enough to put goldfish in."
"I was self-medicating at this point," he said. "The moral of the story is that the dog saved my life, because otherwise I never would have gone in to see a doctor."
The couple said they were amazed that Kiko appeared to know Douthett had an infection that needed treatment.
"He kind of chewed off the infected part and stopped at the good bone," said Rosee. "We joked that we shouldn't have had to pay the co-pay because he did half the job by chewing off half of the toe."
I’m Craig, and that’s the news… (Play News Music – Clip 03)
Bring on the boys…
The Duel – Mike Ditka vs. Luke Dodge in a battle that may be the most embarrassing beat down for Ditka since this classic exchange. (Clip 75 – Ditka Juicebox) Ditka (Clip 73) Luke (Clip 72)
Magnificent 7: Top Seven Goofy uniforms in sports history.
Honorable Mention:
-Canadiens - Throwbacks from last season – Striped Pajama look
-Packers – New Throwback uniforms – Blue Jersey with Yellow Circle in the middle with a number, and a brown helmet to simulate a leather helmet, and kahki pants.
7. Padres – Camo Unis
6. Mighty Ducks – Alternate Jersey (Cartoon Duck Jumping out of the Ice) (1995-96)
5. Seahawks – Snot green uniform (2009)
4. White Sox – Shorts 1976 (August 8th, 1976 – 34 years ago tomorrow)
3. Blues – Trumpet Uniform (1995-96)
2. Canucks – V Uniforms (1978-85)
1. Broncos – VSS Uniforms
Week in Wankery:
Yellow Card:
-Title Closer who required that our appraisal read Pike’s instead of Pikes
-“Have you dined with us before?” Waiter
Man of the Match: People with the last name Dameshek – Looks like VSR is going to have both Brandon Dameshek and Dave Dameshek on to yap at some point this month, as both have agreed to appear. I’m still working out the details with both of them, but that is clearly good news for this esteemed program.
Red Card:
-Douche in Target who “Sprained his ankle” and was making a mountain out of the molehill.
Shek Republic in a Week - (How’d you come to learn of Dameshek?)
(Intro – Clip 76; Episode 1 – Clip 77)
Shek Republic in a Week:
1. How were you introduced to Dave Dameshek?
2. What is your take on mustard?
3. Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?
4. Who is your hero and why?
5. What's the most interesting thing you could wish for?
I’ve found the new theme song for Slammed! –
(Clip 51)
Song: Gonna be so drunk
Band: We wrote the book on Connectors
The Moth – Michaela Murphy - All-Star game story (Clip 72) (16:30)
The Vertically Striped Music Recommendation:
The Suburbs – Arcade Fire
Thanks to: (Whoever called)
Shalom and Good Evening to you all!
Top 7 Bad Euphemisms:
-Friendly Fire
-Flight Attendant
-To Pass Away
-Putting a dog to sleep
-Gentleman’s Club
-For Mature Audiences
-Big Boned
-Full Figured
-In a Family Way
-Laid Off
Deaths:
Puritans – Not so nice to the dead all the time. (Talk about the burial ground)
Who’s death would cause the biggest world wide sadness?
Pooping in public: No shame, or hide your feet? (Clip 81 – MM’s rap)
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